Page 77 of Finding Her
“Maybe I should tell Faeryn how strange this is.” I snapped my fingers against my palm in agitation. “If she knows he might be unsafe, she might tell us more about him.”
“Maybe.” Mykie stared out at my Silvates running around in the grass, mud spraying out from under their hooves. “How do you think she would react to learning you’ve been investigating the one person she explicitly doesn’t want to talk to you about? Not only have you been investigating them, but you’ve involved a team ofhitmento interrogate anybody associated with her friend.”
I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t tell her about the hitmen part, Mykie. You know that.” The least I could do was keep Mykie’s secrets. She had beenverygenerous in sharing her professional skillset over the last several years—now more than ever, as threats needed to be detected quickly and neutralized.
“You’ve been talking about filling her in on your history a lot more. Do you think she’s ready for all of it? It’s risky. You know what could happen to her.”
“It’s riskynottelling her,” I grumbled. “Do you have any clue how hard it is sleeping next to Faeryn every night, knowing what I know? She’s come so much farther than I thought she could. Maybe it’s safer for her to understand.”
“How are the nightmares?”
My lips pursed in discontent. Now that Faeryn and I shared a bed, I was painfully aware of how haunted she was when her eyes closed. Every few days, I would have to pin her down and wait for her to settle back into reality. I thought they may improve with time, but they hadn’t. The dreams were cruel, routine reminders that her body remained on the brink of fight or flight. I hated thinking she’d been dealing with this alone on the couch for weeks.
“You need to be certain she won’t run, Graysen.Or worse.”
“I know.” It wasn’t hard to talk me out of spilling my guts to Faeryn. She might run as others had. She might end up dead as others had. I needed to be certain those possibilities were off the table before I pulled her world out from underneath her.
Fucking E.A.R.T.H.
“Theo’s letting you work shifts with her now?” Mykie changed the subject, holding her joint up for me to re-light with my irritated palm. She was lucky my flames didn’t blow up in her face; they were threatening to become unmanageable.
“He said he’s going to be gone a long time.” I shrugged. “Figured it would be cruel to micromanage us in his absence.”
“How long is a long time?”
I squinted up at the periwinkle sky. “He didn’t know. Something’s been strange since he returned from his last adventure.”
Theo had come back earlier than anticipated from his winter trek, explaining the elements hadn’t been kind to him. That seemed to be an understatement, considering the noticeable limp he was only now shaking off. Despite the injury, it hadn’t been a full day’s star cycle before he announced plans to take another trip on the first day of the new year’s summer. Unexpected, considering how busy that day would be for business.
He’d also been spending more time in his office than ever, scribbling into a notebook I’d never seen and reading books on topics I wasn’t aware he had interests in: Agriculture, Carpentry, Folklore. These things were harmless. The new curiosity that wasn't harmless? Faeryn—a conversation he had thankfully not attempted to revisit.
At least whatever had him so distracted was enough for him to abandon his efforts to keep me away from my mate at work. It was a welcome change in routine and would make protecting her that much easier while her new friendship was still an unknown threat.
“I guess we aren’t cornering the market on secrets.” Mykie slapped a hand on my back. “I need to go do some daytime digging before my night shift.”
“Thanks Mykie, I know I can never repay you for all of this. But if there’s anything I can do—” I swallowed the guilty lump in my throat.
The bags under Mykie’s eyes were dense and deep. I knew the stress of watching Faeryn and staying informed was weighing on her, impacting her sleep. She held my reason for living in her hands, and she felt every ounce of that responsibility. I hadn’t seen my friend so deep in the throes of her vices in years. If I could control everything on my own, I would, but I owed it to Faeryn to utilize every resource availableto keep her safe. I would burn the world down with everything I loved in it if it meant she would survive to stand in the ashes with me.
“It’s my job, Graysen. Don’t sweat it.”
Faeryn ran rampant around the bar, pouring drinks as quickly as her trembling hands could manage. The building roared with conversation and drunken laughter, clanks and thuds accompanying the cacophony of voices. The first of Premier Summer was always the busiest day of the year, and I was grateful Theo was paying to have all hands on deck. Stella had done this several times before, but it was Faeryn and Mitus’s first time experiencing the onslaught of warm-weather celebrators. Whatever Theo had left for must’ve been important, he usually put his four arms to good use during the Turn of Stars holiday.
“I think it’s slowing down!” Mitus shouted across the room.
“If you say so,” I dismissively called back over the noise.
My friendly façade had long since worn off, abandoned in exchange for efficiency. I was putting myself to the test, trying to keep the pressure off Faeryn. Normally, I didn’t care if people had to wait a little longer for service, but she was clearly rattled. Nobody was here for bartender small talk today anyway; a little curtness would go unnoticed.
The stress of the holiday was compounded by my hyperawareness of every being who entered the pub. I was looking for a conventionally attractive, well-maintained Mercurian with light hair and a beard. If there was any day forhim to show up, it was today. Everybody was here. If I didn’t see him today, I’d have to assume he was officially avoiding me. I was constantly fighting the burning itch in my palms as my mind roiled over what I would do when faced with the person I suspected to be a threat to my mate. After so many sleepless nights of worrying, I wasn’t in the mood to play nice.
“I’m going to run this refill to booth seven, can you handle the bar in the meantime?” Faeryn asked as she squeezed past me, a sloshing pitcher of amber fizzing over the rim onto her hand.
“Of course,” I nodded, heavily considering telling her to go home. I’d be making sure her reading beverage this evening had somestrengthto it. Hell, I’d be massaging her feet, heating her bath, and doing whatever had to be done to assist with recovery after today.
In tune with her always, I watched intensely as she approached the booth with a single Arielna stretched across the length of the leather bench. The middle-aged man was a regular amongst the drunk and disorderly, although generally harmless. Tonight, he had been taking up too much space and loudly bothering other patrons all night, pushing the envelope of what disturbances would be removal-worthy. I considered cutting him off and sending him home several drinks ago, but I didn’t. An obvious mistake, as Faeryn was now taking it upon herself to tend to him.
Faeryn poured into his glass. “This is your last one.” I could faintly hear her increased volume over the crowd. “Then you need to sober up.” A surge of shame rushed through my veins. She was doing what I should have done an hour ago.
