Page 23 of Finding Her
“What doyouthink the painting is of?” I asked, watching another section of orange twist beneath us.
“Most people just say it’s a map of the world. My preferred theory is a longer story.” He avoided my question with a hint of self-consciousness, quieting his typically confident voice. “You’ll find I’m full of them.”
My heart panged in response to his hesitation. “I’m all ears.”
Graysen telling stories was exactly what I wanted. I had an insatiable hunger to learn more about Trebianna, its people,him. The fact that he hadn’t picked up on that yetwas frustrating. It felt as though I was walking around with a large question mark mounted to my forehead that he regularly ignored. He came off guarded, even about subjects that I felt were surely inconsequential. It was as if every word that left his lips had to be filtered. How exhausting and unnecessary. Over time I would have to prove my eagerness to absorb, and my strength to handle the less palatable.
I lowered myself so that I was mostly lying on my stomach, assuming the most attentive position I could muster. I used my elbows to support my chin so that I could still comfortably peer over the lower sill of the glass while listening.
He observed me for a moment with an appreciative smile before beginning, “I think the painting is of the god of the sea’s lover. Legend has it that the god of water once fell in love with a beautiful female, and he gave her everything she wanted. He gifted her colorful stones in the form of jewelry and created new species for her to keep as pets, just for her amusement. These aquatic pets lived in the lake outside of a castle he built for her in a desolate desert of sand where the ocean now resides.
“One day she demanded that he create something larger for her—something more exciting. She was bored with the cute and graceful creatures he made: she desired a being that was powerful and frightening. And she wanted complete rule over that creature. He complied, generating a beast the size of a castle with teeth as large as her whole body. This was her favorite pet of all, and she would watch it eat the other creations with joy, knowing that while it was the boss of the lake, she was the boss of it.
“One day, while walking along the shore, she saw one of her oldest pets whom she had always loved dearly. In fact, this was the first creation that the god had made for her. She smiled to herself and spoke to it about how happy she was. The god hadrecently proposed marriage and she shared the wedding plans with excitement.
“When the massive shadow of her ego swam near, she became afraid for her beloved first gift. Bending over quickly, she reached into the water to scoop it out before it was eaten. She decided she would keep it in a tank by her bed to always be treasured. But she was too late. As her hands went in to lift out her cherished pet, the predator of the sea leaped forward and swallowed them both whole.
“The god was heartbroken. He tried with all his power to get the animal to give him his lover back. But unfortunately, in giving his love complete control over the beast, he had neglected to give himself any power. When he realized this, he wept so heavily that his tears of overwhelming grief created the very first ocean. Ever since, he’s walked the sea floor with an orange brush, painting her portrait in the pink sand in remembrance and honor of her.”
Surprised by the depth of the story Graysen had taken the time to explore, I nodded as he spoke. A new tenderness for him ached my chest as I considered the tone of his tale.Is Graysen a romantic?He had certainly been engaging, his voice following the rhythmic melody of a seasoned storyteller.
“That’s beautifully tragic.”
He pulled himself to his knees next to me and pointed out of the window. “See the line? That could be the soft curve of her cheek… or maybe the indent of the waist that he held at night.” His slate eyes shone with childlike imagination.
“That story is significantly more compelling than a map of the world,” I offered, placing a hand on his thigh supportively. He needed to understand that I wanted us to daydream together. I was entering this world with infantile naivety, and needed aguide who could incorporate the wonder of youth and fairytales into their lessons.
Resting on folded knees, Graysen was a good two feet higher than my reclined frame. Our height difference doubled, and I found my mouth inches from his abdomen, which rose and fell with deep breaths. A shiver went up my spine when he gazed down at me, the situation undeniably intimate.
“The map of the world theory is overwhelmingly more popular,” he breathed softly. His voice was low, steady.
“I like the painting one more.”
Our eyes locked. His breath fogged the glass behind me. A tantalizing feeling crept up in me, telling me to lean another inch forward so that I could feel the radiating warmth of his core against my lips. It was comforting to be so close to another person, physically and emotionally. For the first time I could remember, I didn’t feel completely alone. As if the space between us was magnetically charged, my body seemed to drift towards fulfilling that desire for touch, my lips parting to inhale him greedily as the gap between us closed.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped away from mine and shot down to his watch, “If my Silvates are on schedule, then we should be arriving shortly.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll go sit on the other bench so we don’t fall into each other when we break the waves.”
Graysen
“Let me check outside first.” I stood at the door with my head ducked and my hand on the smoothly engraved knob.
“I thought you said it was safe,” Faeryn teased, with the slightest hint of apprehension caught in her throat.
I was certain she would enjoy what was ahead of us, but felt myself swallowing a lump of guilt. In all my eagerness, I hadn’t given her much of a choice coming here, nor did I tell her anything about what to expect. I’d bet all my coins that the inhabitants of this island wouldn’t be a deal breaker for her, but I couldn’t bring myself to take that risk. There wasn’t any room for objection.
This trip would establish trust. I would show her a better side of myself than what she would inevitably witness on the mainland.
Pursuing Faeryn’s affections was off the table, but I needed to maintain a healthy dynamic between us. To keep her safe, she needed to trust me. If she knew the truth, she might run. Seeing me as the bad guy would be detrimental to her safety. I fought the urge to spill my guts throughout the carriage ride. She may hate me, but at least it would offer my consciencesome relief to kneel at her altar and pray for forgiveness. But I didn’t deserve the mercy of confession.
Being in my own personal heaven with her felt like an undeserved blessing and only compounded my shame. But Mykie was right, I needed this if I was going to succeed in caring for Faeryn. Being in Eitrea would buy me a few desperately needed days to think through my next steps. Everything happened so quickly. I barely had time to process, much less plan effectively. I was so sleep deprived from forcing myself to stay awake and aware every night, I wasn’t making any progress in figuring out where to go from here. My ideas were becoming more delusional by the day. A little rest in a safe, faraway location was critical. I couldn’t think of a better place to do so.
Swinging the sealed door open, I stepped out into the familiar fresh air. The anxiety clenching my gut subsided, replaced by nostalgia and hope. This would be special for Faeryn. I turned to look over my shoulder, smiling. She got the message and rose to her feet, her emerald eyes trying to peek past me to see where I had taken us. I stepped out of the way, into the soft, rosy sand below, so that she could follow.
Her mouth gaped as she took in the view from the threshold of the carriage. Trees speckled with pinks and greens bordered the beach, forming a sparsely wooded perimeter to the enchanting forest. Kelly green leaves tipped the branches, accompanied by creamy fuchsia flowers. I wondered if she recognized the blooms from the rug in my carriage, as they had been the primary motivation in selecting it. Strong vines ascended the expansive trunks, with white and green speckled moss adorning the base and surrounding roots. On the ground in between the trees, a feathery grass waved submissively as a warm breeze swept over the land. Puffy white clouds floated inthe otherwise clear sky. It was the perfect day to introduce her to paradise.
She hopped down and turned to look where we had just risen from the sea. Along the edge of the water were rock formations of whites and silvers, they sparkled like crystals and reflected the daytime starlight to dance across the outer trees of the woods. The smell of a sweet salt filled my nostrils and warmed my lungs as I inhaled.
Faeryn bent over to pick up a pale purple shell and grinned. “It’s shaped like a dolphin.”
