Page 15 of Finding Her
“For what it’s worth, everything was going fine until she got horny and attracted attention. I figured you wouldn’t appreciate the circling suitors, so we left.” She rubbed her neck and laughed anxiously at the confession.
My heart clenched, and I felt my palms threatening to spit flames.Horny?Who the fuck in Theo’s pub had made herhorny? I did taste the faint aroma on my tongue when she got home, but had foolishly hoped I was the source. It was that, or face the reality that it was left over from the bar crawl I hadn’t been present for. There were many good-looking Trebites there, including Theo himself, but what happened to “monsters”? If she wanted to be fucked by a monster, I could…
No. Absolutely not. I loathed myself for even starting the thought. Adding shame to my rage created a sickeningly familiar concoction. It was a volatile solution that had gotten out of hand before. I practiced the grounding exercises I had studiedunsuccessfully for years, while gripping my fists to contain the fire licking between my fingertips. I needed to contain them until they simmered out, lest they damage something. Or someone.
“I know I fucked up,” Mykie sighed, ignoring my obvious spiral. I knew she could smell that she had triggered a combustion. “Look, maybe I’m not the best for—”
“No, stop that,” I snapped, relieved to feel my fist had suffocated my wrath of its fuel. “You’re the only person who can help me. I can’t do this alone, Mykie. Youwillmake mistakes. I’ll make one hundred more mistakes than you. We need to adapt, stay calm, and hope we don’t scare her off.” I was speaking to myself as much as her.
She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the leaves. “That’s going to be the hard part, friend. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s just as in over her head as you. She’s desperate to acclimate. It doesn’t bode well for your need to fly under the radar.”
“We’ll just have to keep her out of town as much as possible. Changing her hair color will help, but it’s still risky.”
“Avoid” Category #1: Somebody recognizing her.
“You can’t keep her locked inside the house forever.”
“She made that clear,” I groaned, reflecting on how angry she had been at the notion of not being able to leave. She had called herself my “pet”. Had I done that bad of a job of behaving normally when I brought her here? It wasn’t exactly typical circumstances, and I had never been the best actor. “I need more time. I need a safe environment where nobody can interfere. Long enough to gain some trust and clear my head so I can think straight.”
Mykie picked up a fallen pink leaf from the bench and twirled the stem in her fingers. “Sounds like you need a vacation.”
Hm. Not a bad idea at all. Eitrea Island, the home of the flowering tree we were below, would suit my requirements. Perhaps a hard sell given she was still getting settled, but absolutely a sheltered option for Faeryn to explore herself and her environment. She had so many questions; guiding them to safe topics would work in my favor. I was under no illusion that her optimism last night hadn’t been from the alcohol. She would wake up disoriented, on high alert, and solution hungry in just a matter of hours, expected of any sane person with decent survival instincts. The situation may be even worse with a hangover and any memories of my feral form shift.One of the “monsters”. Earning her trust was my number one priority, and I couldn’t do it in an environment tainted with so much fear and rage.
“I would need supplies,” I mumbled, my brain already rattling over the checklist. “Not to mention calling out of work.” Not that my job was high on my list of concerns at the moment. In fact, my only reservation was asking for time off without raising suspicions. I didn’t want Theo asking any questions. People talk in small towns.
“Avoid” Category #2: People talking.
“Sure.” She ran her hand back over her smooth hair, which reflected the pink highlights from the canopy of flowers above her. “If you trust me, I can watch Faeryn. But for the love of fuck, run your errands while she sleeps. Set me up for success here, or I’m going to have to use my emergency supplies if the situation spirals. Guardianship isn’t my forte.”
“You willnotuse your work tools on Faeryn,” I snarled, my lip pushed up by my growing canines at the thought. A protective instinct rumbled in my chest.
“Nothing dangerous.” She locked eyes with me and saw me unmoved. “Look, Gray, I don’t want to touch a hair on her pretty head. I’m just thinking through options to prevent crises here. If you’re going to drag me into this, you have to trust me.” Her typically hard expression fell. “I know I let my vices win yesterday, but I’ll do better. I promise.”
“Sure.” I tapped my foot anxiously on the dirt. “Then I’ll prepare tomorrow morning. I think that Drooler you gave her will have her out for a while, but I’d rather not risk it today. The markets open at star rise, and I can be out while it’s still dark and back within an hour.”
“My shift will end right when you’re supposed to leave, then.” She fumbled around in her small leather bag. “It’ll work.” She pulled out a joint of herbs and held it out to me. I lifted my hand for her to press its tip into the small flame at the center of my palm. Her lips closed around it, and she took a long drag, exhaling the musky smoke into the soft summer breeze.
“Who’s lined up for tonight?”
She grinned with the joint hanging loosely between her teeth, “Now you know I can’t tell you that. They’d cut out my tongue, which I’m quite fond of.” She ashed her joint on the edge of the bench.
“Of course. But if it concerns her—”
“Ifit concerns her—andyou would benefit from knowing the information—I will part with my tongue.”
I scowled, but dropped the topic. Mykie was doing everything she could to help. My frustration wasn’t with her; none of this was her fault. I was just furious at the world becauseI hated what it was making me do. I didn’t see a single passage to a happy ending for myself. Having Faeryn sleeping alone nearby was a painful reminder that I was destined for a life of misery, anger, and regret.And I fucking deserved it. Compound that with several days without sleep, and I was on the verge of apocalyptic levels of self-destruction. Which wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have a job to do. Unfortunately, failure wasn’t an option, so I’d live through the pain of what had to be done.
Eitrea would be a welcome side quest while I attempted to regain my composure, and gods know it would be a special experience for Faeryn. She deserved a little enchantment in her life. And with the magic of the island in the air, who knows, maybe it would right my wrongs. Maybe it would give her the peace I couldn’t.
Faeryn
I sat on the cool bathroom floor with my cheek smooshed against the wall. This was humiliating. I didn’t make it three days in a foreign land without giving myself a hangover. I wasn’t even sure benders were on my preferred activities list, but when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Apparently, the Romans here loved to drink—at least the ones I’d been introduced to. With no memories of past alcohol-induced regrets, I threw caution to the wind. That brilliant decision landed me here—folded over the toilet, with more amnesia than when I first came to in that damned forest.
Since I wasn’t able to leave the bathroom, I was stuck with my inner monologue all morning. Mygodwas I a bitch to myself. Every possible negative thought ricocheted painfully in my skull.I shouldn’t be here. I should be with my family. I made a fool of myself. Graysen is going to kick me out if I don’t get my shit together. Then where would I go? Did I do anything humiliating last night? That Lychan probably heard me misgender them. Why can’t I willpower myself into fixing this? Because I’m weak. Because I’m not smart enough. Because I’m inventing who I am, and so far, she’s helpless and insufferable.I have three days of history, and I’ve been a burden for all of them.
A soft knock rattled the door, and I pushed my thick pile of hair out of my face and peeled my cheek from the plaster. “Come in,” I groaned, wiping my mouth to avoid any unseemly visuals.
Graysen stepped into the bathroom, taking in the pitiful view that was me with a sympathetic smile. He was holding a glass of water in one hand and more of the medicinal iridescent milk in the other. “How are you feeling?” he asked, motioning with his head towards the tile to my left.
