Page 43 of More Than Nothing
“I’m glad you rethought your decision to decline my call.” Zena’s voice held the sharp edge he was well used to.
“I was busy. What do you want?” Roman pulled a mug out of one of the cupboards. There was a brief moment of silence during which he could almost hear her switching gear.
“I miss you,” she said finally. “I’ve been thinking we should give our relationship another try.”
He laughed without humor. “You miss me? Do you really, Zena? Have you forgotten how uptight and unemotional I am?”
She had no idea.
“I never said that.”
“They were your exact words.” Roman’s tone was dry. He felt absolutely nothing—not wounded, angry, upset, nor regretful.
“Well, maybe I made a mistake.” Zena sounded annoyed rather than sorry. “You needed time to get your head together. I assume you’re managing to do that now. Let’s put it behind us and have a go at a long-distance relationship. I’m happy to give it a try if you are.”
He placed the kettle on the stovetop, craving his bed and a solid night’s sleep. “Here’s the thing. I think we made the right decision. I’m here, you’re there, and I don’t miss us as a couple. That tells me it’s time to move on.” She drew in a breath, trying to regroup. “I think that’s all I have to say, Zena. Take care of yourself.” Roman ended the call and dumped a teabag into his mug, reaching for the kettle.
He hoped he’d been blunt enough without being hurtful. He didn’t feel the need to sling mud but he had no interest in reviving a relationship that had been dying a death for a long time.
Elenie had made him realize how much it’d been lacking.
Her company made his blood hum and his nerve endings sizzle. She was pleasure and pain in feminine form, comfort and temptation. Roman ached to get closer even as he warned himself off. He’d never felt the same heated need for Zena, not even at the beginning when he was flattered by her interest and turned on by her ambition. He’d asked her to marry him with ambivalence he’dhidden from everyone. It had felt like a business deal. A sensible next step to build the life of his dreams—lieutenant, captain, commander, loving wife, big house, comfortable life.
Now, Zena was barely a passing consideration. Someone he once thought he knew.
Spilling his feelings to Elenie had been painless once he’d started, a little of the pressure inside his chest easing with every sentence. She was slight, but goddamn was she strong. He hadn’t worried about her being able to handle it, didn’t wonder for a minute if she’d judge him for his weakness.
His mom and dad worked like a team. Being in a relationship should be like that—two people pulling on the oars of a boat in time with each other. Up until now, Roman had either felt like he was rowing on his own or whoever he was with was rowing in the opposite direction. Even with everything against them, he wished he could try rowing with Elenie.
He dragged in a deep breath. Reaching for his phone, he dropped onto the couch and dialed the most recent number from his contacts.
“Hey, Ro. We just walked in the door.” Thea answered almost immediately. He heard the muted clatter of her shoes as she kicked them off in her foyer.
Roman took a deep breath. “You got time to talk, T? I need to tell you something.”
When Elenie appeared unexpectedly in the doorway of his office mid-afternoon the following Saturday, the frown slid off Roman’s face. The tight coil in his middle loosened and warmed.
“Dougie said I could come on back.” Her smile was tentative, a little edgy.
His deputy was fully fit, but riding the reception desk as it was Maggie’s weekend off. Forsberg and Morgan were out dealing with a truck that had shed its load near Quarry Pass.
“Of course. Come in.” Roman narrowed his eyes. “What’s up?”
He waved her toward one of the chairs on the other side of his desk and leaned back, fiddling with a ballpoint pen. The desk sat between them like a Victorian chaperone. Elenie wore her uniform; he guessed she’d come straight from her shift. The bright sun, sneaking between the slats of the blinds, lightened her eyes to pale gray. It was good to see the bruises on her face were fading.
“I’ve been thinking a lot. About Millie Westlake and the drugs. About my family. About your family.”
Roman frowned. “And?”
“And I need to find a way to make some serious changes in my life. Like you have.” Elenie blew out a breath. He searched her face while he waited for her to link the two statements. “What you need is information, and someone who doesn’t have anything to lose.”
A chill raised the hairs on the back of his neck. In a moment of horrible realization, he had a suspicion he knew where this was going.
“I was wondering if police informers are an actual thing?” Elenie asked. “Because I want to be one.”
Roman’s reaction was instant and instinctive. “No.” He didn’t give it any thought. This idea was one that needed shutting down as soon as possible. “You’re not involved in the criminal side of Frank’s business, so you’re not party to any information that would be useful.”
“But I could be.” Elenie leaned forward. “Imagine if I could turn things around and find out something you could use against him.” The desperation in her eyes floored him. “I need to do this. I can’t carry on living in that house, and I don’t have the money to escape them. I’m just going through the motions of living mylife—I don’t think I can stand to do it much longer. I have to find some way to move on.”
