Page 32 of Sugar Baby
“Congratulations, Suge. I’m proud of you for taking that step. I know how much it means to you to bake.”
“Thank you. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to take this step had you not given me that money. So thank you again. You’re setting me up to be able to truly focus on what I’m most passionate about.”
“It’s my honor, and I know my mother-in-law would be proud.” I’d already been emotional over the transition, but him saying that put me further in my feelings. As my eyes watered, I rested my forehead on his chest. “Aww, my lil pussy cat.”
Sniffling, I chuckled as he tilted my head to wipe my tears. The tenderness in his eyes made mine water more. The longer he stared at me, the more I realized I was falling in love with this man.
Date Night . . . Finally
Cash was subtly movingmy things into his condo on the beach. The first day I was there, he had Rhakeem, Dre, and Michael help him take out almost everything in my damnroom. Three days later, a moving company popped up while I was curating a test menu for Sugar Baby Bakes. They told me they’d been instructed to pack up everything in my kitchen and take it to Cash’s place.
He was a smart ass man I’d give him that, because that was all it took for me to be there every day. I ended up giving him my key, and he’d had two more trucks full of stuff sent from my place to his before the week was out. At that point, I told him they could just bring everything, and you would have sworn by the way he cheesed that he’d just won the lottery. I guess, in a sense, he did. And so did I.
Unlike in previous relationships, I didn’t question if we were moving too fast. I didn’t tell myself I needed to know more about him. With Cash, I felt peace. I felt security. I felt stability. I’d never had those things with a man in my past, and I allowed that to give me the confidence to trust our relationship would last. And even if I didn’t, I loved being with Cash so much that I’d appreciate it for what it was, even if it was just a season. Something told me this man was my forever though.
As I got ready for our date in the guest room he’d allowed me to turn into a dressing room, a wave of emotions swirled through me. I thought about my life and how drastically things had changed since Cash had been in it. I thought about how things had gotten better for me and my family because of him. Tyreek would be able to go to college, Aunt Terry was running the business and set to make money to help her household, and Uncle Tony was called by a “random” insurance agent last Wednesday.
Somehow, his health insurance was covered, and he no longer had to pay for his medicine or appointments, which was going to drastically decrease the amount of money he spent a month, allowing him to have more money to puttoward his wife and their bills. I didn’t have to ask Cash if he was responsible, but I did, and when he confirmed, I cried. He wasn’t just a blessing to me, but he was a blessing to my people as well.
He’d met Uncle Tony Thursday when he went to get Tyreek, and they hit it off well. From what Tyreek told me, Cash ended up spending the evening there in Uncle Tony’s man cave drinking beers and smoking cigars while they talked shit and watched the black and white westerns Uncle Tony loved. Cash told him aboutThe Harder They Fallon Netflix, and after they watched it, he started calling Cash his son-in-law.
I set my lip liner down and stared at my reflection. For the first time, I felt the urge to talk to God. I looked at my palms, as if the words I needed to say were written there.
After clearing my throat, I shook my head. “This is ridiculous,” I muttered. “I don’t even know what to say.” It felt like I heard in my head to speak from my heart, so I did. “H-hey, Big Guy. Uh . . . I know it’s been a while. I’m not mad at You anymore. I’m still hurt but I don’t think that will ever change. Now, I don’t take the loss of Mama personally. I don’t see it like You personally hurt me like I did when she first died. I know my mama was suffering and she’s no longer in pain. Even though I wish You would have healed her here so she could stay with me, I know that wasn’t my choice to make.”
I sighed as my eyes watered. “I do appreciate You giving me my aunt and uncle though. They’re the best second set of parents anyone could have. Auntie never tried to take Mama’s place, but she stood in the gap, and I know not everyone has that after they lose a parent. So thank You.”
My breath came out shaky. “I also want to thank You for allowing me to remember my mama’s essence. To be able tocarry her around with me in my memory and my heart. I’ve been determined to live my life for the both of us, and now, I feel like I’m finally in a position to do so. You bringing Cash into my life has a lot to do with that. Thank You for him. He’s perfect for me, and he understands my passionandmy pain. I’m falling in love with him, and this feels like the first time I’ve been safe doing so.
“He’s helping me want to return to You, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. He’s also helping me understand the journey You have me on is for Your usage of me. So I just wanted to say . . . I don’t know exactly how You plan to use me, but Y-you can use me.”
When I felt like I wouldn’t be able to stop my tears, I quickly muttered, “Okay, bye,” before laughing at my own damn self. I’d just spent the last hour perfecting my makeup and didn’t want to ruin it, but I felt like if I kept talking and praying, I’d be a blubbering mess. It felt like I’d reconnected with a lost friend after much too much time had passed. The peace and calm that washed over me was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and before I could stop them, the tears started falling, and I was thanking God all over again.
“I feel that You’re here with me and I know You’re real. I know we’re not supposed to test You, but if You could just give me a sign that You’re here and will never leave me, I’d appreciate it.” I paused and nibbled on my bottom lip. “If You could give me a wink, I promise I’ll never turn my back on You again.”
I stood and headed for the bathroom, thankful my makeup hadn’t run. I dabbed away my tears then slipped into my dress and applied my perfume. After giving myself one last glance in the full length mirror, I headed out in search of my man.
Chapter
Twenty
CASH
“Do I look as good as you thought I would?” Sugar asked, giving me a 380 turn.
“Better,” I confessed, taking long, slow strides in her direction.
I knew she would look good in red because of how good it looked on her lips, but this went beyond my expectations. The red halter mini dress looked like it was painted against her skin. She’d flat ironed her hair bone straight, and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get through the evening knowing I’d have the baddest woman on my arm everywhere we went.
I wasn’t the kind of man who took pride in other men lusting after my woman. I was far too territorial and crazy for that. A nigga had a good three Mississippis to appreciate his view before I got ready to black his eyes.
“Cash!” she squealed when I lowered slightly and pulled her panties down. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Let me get this up off you real quick.”
Her laughter as I tossed her over my shoulder was like music for my soul as I carried her over to the bed. This woman made parts of me that I’d never felt before give me a reaction.
“Bae, wait! We have a reservation, don’t we?”
