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I have no idea how long I’ve been out here. Long enough that I’m pretty sure those two squirrels are about to have a throwdown.

He just sits and waits me out, which is so unnerving.

Every part of me aches, from the balls of my feet to my hips to my heart and most definitely my head. I used to get headaches like this before I left the farm. My brain would spin out, thinking of too many things in too many directions, racing faster and faster with ideas and grand plans.

One time, I’d been handing my father tools while he worked on a tractor, and I was babbling away. Faster and faster, from topic to topic, regurgitating all the things I’d learned at the library that week, absolutely feral for knowledge. Enthralledwith technology and possibilities, and so, so happy to share with someone. Anyone. Looking back at my eight-year-old self, I can see that I’d been so sure he was listening. Hanging on my every word.

The slap across my cheek had come out of nowhere.Whack!

I fell to my knees, clasping my cheek as tears bloomed, dribbling down onto the dirt.

“Stop that racket, boy.”

I close my eyes and hot tears press against my eyelids. It’s been almost thirty years, and the memory still haunts me. No doubt, I was an annoying child. Nose in a book, head in the clouds, heart as far away from agriculture as could be. But I’d been kind, helpful, even sweet.

And all they’d done was try to crush not just my dreams, but me. Over and over again, until I’d escaped.

But that slap didn’t hurt nearly as bad as I do right now.

Fresh tears slide down my cheeks, and I glance through them at King.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, still calm.

Why isn’t he yelling at me?

“Doesn’t matter.” I wipe my cheeks.

“You’re crying, Gabriel. I’d say it matters a lot.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because—” There’s a pause, and then he pushes the words out. “I care about you.”

His soft green eyes are wide and imploring, like he shouldn’t have to explain it. What did Katherine say he called them? Heart words?

But the broken little boy inside me doesn’t understand why he’s sitting with me now. In my whole life, the only person who’s ever been at my side with unwavering loyalty is Alex.

I thought about calling him, but he has enough on his plate.

But Kingston is here. This man I let into my heart and into my body. And he’s an arm’s length away, waiting for what, me to get my head together?

“What are your demons telling you, Gabe?”

I glance around, almost sure I’ll see them lurking. The doubt monsters. The vicious voice telling me I’m stupid. The ghost of Henry Chanler with his fake smile.

“She didn’t say a word,” I croak.

Her silence was so damning.

“Would you have believed her if she’d told you you had it all wrong?”

“Of course.”

Golden brows lift over soft green eyes.

“I would have listened,” I say.

“Over all the noise in your head?”