Page 69 of Jacked
Cas gives me a look from behind Logan, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. I shake my head once to let him know I’ll fill him in later.
“Sorry again for showing up without any warning,” Logan says, reaching back to run his hand over the back of his neck, the same way AJ tends to do when he’s feeling anxious. “I meant to call, I just… I don’t know, I was on a plane before I really thought about it.”
“It’s cool. You’re my brother, you’re always welcome. We, uh, might have to figure out sleeping arrangements, but if you don’t mind a sleeping bag on the floor then it’ll be fine.”
Logan chuckles—the same wheezy laugh as AJ’s. Maybe it’s all the ways he reminds me of his brother or maybe it’s the nervous, darting look in his eyes, but I don’t want to believe he’s a raging homophobe who’s going to turn on AJ when the truth comes out. I think he’s going through something and he doesn’t know how to talk about it because their dad fucked them up.
“We were just talking about going out for dinner. How do you feel about some Chicago Deep Dish?” I put on my friendliest smile. Maybe if I win him overbeforehe knows I’m doing the dirty with his brother, everything will go smoother. “Or are you anti-cheese like your brother?”
AJ scoffs. “I’m not anti-cheese, I’m anti-eating-three-pounds-of-cheese-in-one-sitting.”
“It’s funny, you always say that, and then once I talk you into it, you eat two slices plus dessert.” I bump him with my shoulder, smirking at him.
He rolls his eyes at me, trying to fight back a grin that says he knows I’m right. He protests the pizza because he can’t get enough of it once it’s in front of him. When I look back over, Logan’s glancing between the two of us. Fuck, maybe the shoulder bump was more suspicious than I thought it would be. Why can’t I remember how straight dudes touch each other? Wait,dostraight dudes touch each other? I don’t know anything anymore.
I clear my throat and inch towards the hallway, putting a little more space between AJ and me just to be safe.
“So, pizza?” I say to Logan again.
He nods. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks for the invite.”
“Cool, let’s just change out of our wet clothes and we can head out.” I nod for Cas and Nolan to follow me, just in case AJ wants a minute alone with his brother to try to find out what happened that made him get on a plane on a whim. Also, so I can fill them in on the situation before they accidentally slip up and out him.
As soon as my bedroom door is closed behind us, I blow out a breath, pulling off my hat to drag my fingers through my hair before replacing it.
“In case it wasn’t obvious, AJ isn’t out to his brother yet,” I whisper. “And he’s worried that Logan might not take it well, so we have to play it cool until he’s ready to tell.”
Cas’s eyebrows go up again. “He thinks Logan might be homophobic?” There’s a skeptical edge to my brother’s tone.
I frown and cock my head. “Yeah, why?”
“No, nothing,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “We’ll be cool. It’s kind of unspoken queer code to tread lightly if you’re not sure anyway, so don’t worry about it.”
I blow out another breath and nod. “Thanks. I hate that this got sprung on AJ out of nowhere. He’s freaking out and I can’t do anything to make it easier.”
Nolan rubs my shoulder and Cas gives me a sympathetic look.
“You’ve got his back, that’s the best thing you can do for him,” Nolan says.
“Should we try not to act like a couple?” Cas asks.
“No, AJ said it’s fine. I wouldn’t put you in that position anyway. But, hey, maybe Logan seeing a totally normal gay couple will lay a good foundation for AJ to come out.”
My brother chuckles. “There’s that eternal optimism.”
I give him a playful shove. I have to be optimistic. The alternative sucks too much to think about.
AJ
I stare at my brother for a minute after we’re left alone, acutely aware of my damp shorts and the sound of the TV coming from the apartment next door. My mouth is dry and my heart is still pounding. I shouldn’t be afraid to be around my brother. Did I even give him a hug or tell him I’m glad to see him? Looking at him again, it’s obvious he’s been dealing with something. There are dark smudges under his eyes like he’s barely been sleeping, and his clothes are fitting a little baggier than usual.
“Hey, seriously, is everything okay?” I ask again, crossing the living room to put my hands on his shoulders. “You look like shit.”
He wheezes a laugh and his shoulders sag. “I’m fine, just had a shitty fucking week and needed to see my brother.” He looks down and rubs his hand across his jaw before looking back at me. “Alex and I broke up.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. The way you were talking it seemed like you guys were getting pretty serious.” I never know what to say in situations like this. I never met Alex, so I can’t really say anything about her, but it was obvious from the way Logan talked about her that he liked her a lot.
“We were. I fucked it up.” He sniffs and looks away. “Alex was… amazing, and I was a chickenshit, and now it’s over.”
