Page 67 of Jacked
“I would appreciate that,” I say blandly.
“So, are we going to go to the gay beach and ogle hot guys?” Nolan asks with a toothy grin.
Cas glares at him playfully then pulls him into his arms. “You arewaytoo eager to check out other guys,” he teases, biting down on his neck. Nolan squirms and laughs, wrestling him for a minute before they end up in a lip-lock.
Shifting their view of me to include my new sexuality might be a challenge for them, but I’m dealing with my own version of it. They’re not just my brother and my best friend anymore, they’re a couple. It’s definitely going to take some getting used to.
Once they break the kiss, I show them to my room where they’re going to stay and I leave them to get ready. I already moved some of my clothes into AJ’s room for the weekend so I wouldn’t have to constantly barge in on them and risk seeing something that might cause me to need eye bleach and a match to torch my bed once they’re gone.
I slip into his room and find him bare-assed, in the middle of changing into his swim trunks for the beach. I whistle playfully and give him a resounding slap on the ass. His cheeks are fucking granite, they barely even jiggle, but I love the surprised grunt that vibrates in his throat and the heated look he throws me over his shoulder.
“You really want to start that with your brother in the next room?” he asks and I bite back a groan.
The answer is “always.” I always want to start shit with AJ. I want to rile him up and make him smile. I want to spend every waking second with my tongue down his throat and our hands all over each other. Obsessed isn’t a strong enough word for the way I feel about him. Like he can read all of those thoughts written across my face, he grins at me and winks before pulling his trunks the rest of the way on.
“I moved some stuff around in the top drawer and put your clothes in there so they wouldn’t have to sit in a pile on the floor all weekend.” He nods at his dresser.
“Thanks.” I give him a quick kiss and pull myself away before I can get caught up in him, then I open the drawer to get changed.
When he said “moved some stuff around” I assumed he meant he’d cleared it out to put my clothes inside. He probably moved some things, but half the drawer is still filled with some of his t-shirts, neatly folded, side by side with my stuff. It gives my heart a strange little flutter to see our clothes organized right next to each other, like we truly share a space. Not as roommates, but as a couple. This might be a new record for how slowly I’ve fully processed something, but it hits me for the first time that that’s exactly what we are. We’re boyfriends who live together.
“Something wrong?” He comes up behind me, putting his hand on my lower back and peering into the drawer like he’s expecting to see something upsetting me.
“No. It just hit me though…” I pull out my swim trunks and then look at him and cock my head curiously. “Do we live together as roommates or as boyfriends?”
AJ frowns. It’s funny to watch actually, as the question seems to hit him just as slowly as it hit me, his lips turning down first before a furrow slowly deepens across his forehead as he tries to work it out.
“I…” He starts to say something then huffs out a laugh. “I don’t know.”
“It’s weird, right?” I start getting changed while we talk. “We moved in together as roommates and then everything happened, so now we’re boyfriends and we live together, but it’s not like we had the usual big relationship moment where we decided things were at that level. Living together is kind of a big deal, right?”
“Yeah,” he agrees, scratching his chin and still seeming to think about it. “It is a big deal. Maybe we can look at it like we’re roommates now, but when we’re ready to have that talk and take that step, we can start sharing a bedroom.”
I bite my tongue against pointing out that since our first date a few weeks ago, we’ve shared a bed every night. Sometimes it’s my bed, sometimes it’s his, but we never sleep separately. I think I understand what he’s getting at though, so I nod in agreement.
AJ
Cas and Nolan seem like pretty laid-back dudes, which means I’m able to relax a little and worry less about impressing them. We catch a bus to the beach, and on our way Nolan tells me about the video game he’s been designing graphics for and Castalks about the most recent book he finished writing. Not gonna lie, it’s still kind of intimidating that they’re both clearly smart as hell, but it’s hard to feel too insecure about anything with Slater’s hand in mine and our knees bumping each other with every bounce and sway of the bus.
Every time our eyes meet, we trade smiles and my heart swells just a little more. The conversation we had before we left the apartment stays stuck in the back of my head. I’ve never reached the ‘living together’ stage with anyone I’ve dated before. I got close with a couple of women, but I always chickened out at the last minute, panicking about the loss of freedom and the implications of it all. Living together feels like the step right before marriage. It’s committed. It’sserious.
Is that how Slater sees it too? Is that something he even wants? Is he dreaming about marriage and all the things that come with it eventually? Would he want all that withme? There’s a lot we still haven’t talked about. What about kids? We can’t have kids—not the natural way, anyway. I know there are other options, but what if he doesn’t want to jump through all the hoops of adoption when he could just find a nice woman and make a family the regular way?
The bus shudders to a stop and Slater squeezes my hand before standing up. I force my panicked thoughts away for now. The beach is hardly the place for an existential crisis.
The lakefront is absolutely packed when we get there. I’m not surprised considering the weather and the fact that it’s Labor Day weekend. It takes us a couple of minutes to spot Butch, Callan, and Fender. They’ve put a lot of thought into their setup, with a big canopy casting shade over their blankets and folding chairs, and a portable grill to cook lunch on.
Slater introduces Cas and Nolan to the guys and Fender’s eyes go wide.
“Excuse the fanboy moment, but holy shit, please tell me you are who I think you are.”
Cas grins and a blush creeps into his cheeks that reminds me a lot of Slater. “Uh, if you’re asking if I’m Holden Dickson, then yeah, that’s me.”
Fender screams dramatically and start to fan himself. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”
“What is happening right now?” Butch looks back and forth between Fender and Cas. “Are you a porn star or something?”
Cas throws his head back and laughs. “No, way less exciting than that. I’m just an author.”
