Page 38 of Jacked
SLATER
I tugmy new shirt over my head then card my fingers through my hair. I thought a crop top might look a little awkward on me, but I glance down at myself anddamnI am wearing this shirt. I already had nice abs, but the way AJ has been kicking my ass at the gym lately, I look even more cut than before. I usually go for athletic pants over jeans for the sake of comfort, but I didn’t think track pants would fit the vibe at the club.
I smooth my hands over my shirt even though it’s freshly washed and free of wrinkles, then I wait for a moment of anxiety or reluctance to hit me. But all I feel right now is the buzz of excitement. Maybe this next step should be harder. Maybe it should take me longer than five days to go from realizing I’m bisexual to wanting to tell people. It feels right though. It feels likeme.
A rap at my door makes my heart jump anddoesactually set off a flutter of nerves in my belly. How is AJ going to react? The realization that I’m bi has already changed things between us, even if he doesn’t know why yet. I’ve been weird around himall week, bouncing between holding back as hard as I can so he doesn’t realize I want to lick him all over and desperately trying to findsomesign that he might be feeling some kind of way too. As soon as I open the door he’s going to know though. Will he still want to be my roommate? Will he still want to be friends?
I grab my hat off of my bed and slam it onto my head. It’s like a familiar piece of armor when everything else is suddenly completely different.
He knocks again.
“You almost ready, man? Butch keeps texting me asking if we chickened out.”
“Yeah, one sec,” I call back with a chuckle.
Whatever his reaction is, I’m just going to handle it. Waiting another week or another month isn’t going to change anything. If he can’t deal, then I’d rather know now. And maybe… maybe it will actually be a good thing. Maybe AJ’s been feeling the same things I have. A hopeful flutter joins in right next to the anxious one until I’m nothing but a jittery mess.
I grab my phone and take a quick selfie, making sure to get my face in the picture along with the baby pink crop top I’m wearing, the words “maybe homo” scrawled across the chest in bi Pride colors. Nolan and I have been playing phone tag all week, missing each other due to the crazy hours he’s been keeping lately with the game he’s doing graphics for getting close to launch. Maybe this isn’t the best way to come out to him and my brother, but fuck it. I send the photo to our group chat, then silence my phone and shove it into my pocket.
I did it. I came out to someone. Maybe indirectly. Maybe in a distant, safe way. But I did it! That little victory gives me an extra boost of energy and confidence to finally cross the room and pull the door open.
AJ is waiting on the other side, leaning against the opposite wall, scrolling through his phone while he waits for me. Hedoesn’t look up right away, which means I have a few seconds to take him in before I have to face his reaction. He’s dressed exactly the same way he always is in a tank top and a pair of shorts. My lips twitch and a warm, affectionate feeling fills my chest. He’s just such adude,and I fucking love that about him.
He finally looks up and I hold my breath. He grins, and then his eyes flick down to my shirt and I wait. And wait. And fucking wait. His expression is blank as he reads the words on it. Fuck, I can’t take the suspense. I’m pretty sure I could read a whole-ass book faster than it’s taking him to read two words.Say something, I urge silently.
He meets my eyes again and tilts his head towards the door.
“Ready to go?”
I stare at him with my heart pounding and my mouth hanging open.
That’s it?
“Yeah,” I answer because I’m not sure what else to say. Did he not get it? Is he processing it still? I was ready for a negative reaction, but no reaction at all is… worse. I don’t know what to do withnoreaction.
Neither of us say anything as we slip on our shoes and head out. He’s one step ahead of me on the stairs and the urge to reach out and casually brush my fingers along the back of his neck or playfully slap his ass is so fucking real I can hardly take it. That’s been the worst thing about this past week. It’s like as soon as I let myselfwantto touch AJ, it was all I could think about. And then, like with the jerking off, it felt wrong to do it at all. But not touching himhas been even more fucking weird.
Which is why I need him to say something. To react in some way. I need this out in the open so we can either find a new normal or I can find a new place to stay, because I am not built for stress like this.
Once we’re on the street, we fall into step next to each other. The club Butch picked, Crossing Swords, is right down the block from our place, so it’s a quick walk. I don’t know if I’m grateful for that since it doesn’t give us as much time to walk in awkward silence or if I wish it were longer so I could work up the nerve to just ask AJ what he’s thinking.
But as soon as the club comes into view with the funny neon sign with two actual swords crossing on it, I forget about AJ’s disappointing non-reaction for a second and a smile spreads over my lips. I’m about to step inside a gay club for the first time. Will I love it? Will I hate it? Am I even gay enough to really be here?
This is a whole new chapter in my life. It’s a new version of myself to figure out, and that’s exciting and terrifying and a million other things I can’t put into words. Yeah, a lot of this is about AJ, and I still want to know what he’s thinking, but it’s mostly about me. The door swings open and a couple of guys step out and give me a once-over as they pass us on their way out. I’ve gotten used to the lingering looks and suggestive smirks over the past handful of weeks since moving here, but these are the first I’ve gotten since I realized I’m bi, and it just hits differently.
I have zero intention of leaving tonight with anyone but AJ, but I smile back at the dude anyway just because I can. Just because it feels fucking good and freeing and incredibly goddamn awesome to do it.
The club music pounds, barely muffled by the doors when they swing closed again. I grab the handle without hesitation and pull them open, turning to make sure AJ is with me before stepping inside. At first glance, it’s no different from a straight club. There’s a bar and a dance floor, colorful strobe lights, and a DJ playing an EDM remix of some pop song I’ve never heard before. Even the crowd inside is mixed gender. I don’t know whyI expected it to be a total sausage fest. It’s only the longer I look around that I start to notice the gay of it all. The dance floor is filled with dudes grinding on each other and plenty of them are making out at the same time. I immediately imagine what it would be like to drag AJ out there, to have our hands all over each other, practically dry humping to the beat of the music in a crowd of other sweaty, horny guys.
My cock swells and my mouth goes dry. I look over at him and he nudges my arm.
“There’s the guys,” he says, pointing towards a spot near the bar.
He wraps his fingers around my wrist and a bolt of heat sears through my veins. I know he’s just trying not to lose me in the crowd, but fuck, I want it to mean more than that. I let him drag me through the club, weaving between tables and dudes pressed up against each other until we reach our friends. They’re crowded around a table, all mostly dressed just like AJ in the same casual clothes they wear every day at Sweat, a pitcher of beer and a stack of cups in the middle. Butch has a tall glass in his hand that I’m guessing contains a drink with a hell of a lot more alcohol than beer does considering the sloppy smile that spreads over his face when he sees us.
“Happy birthday!” he shouts over the music, raising his glass and gulping down a drink.
I round the table to give him a hug. “Aren’t we supposed to say that to you?” I chuckle into his ear and slap him on the back.
