Page 34 of Guarded Hearts
“Oh.” I ground down a mound of disappointment. “Okay.” With my finger, I slid open my phone. “I need to eat too. I’ll see you tonight.”
I put the phone to my ear, but I was distracted by the sight of Pasha’s form retreating out the open door. Already, I missed him, wished I’d told him to stay. “Olivia?”
“Oh, hey,” Olivia said. “How are things going there?”
“You know, same old. Lots of dancing, drinking.”
“Men.”
I’d gone out the last two weeks with the other dancers after the shows when I’d been asked. But I didn’t stay as long as I used to, didn’t drink as much, and didn’t bother flirting with the bartenders. The one night I’d indulged in all of that, just after we decided to become a secret, had felt wrong, and the next day, I hadn’t been able to dance as well, hadn’t been as relaxed with Pasha. Guilt had eaten at me. A new feeling.
“Just called for a gossip?” I asked.
“Uh, well, sorta. Kevin was talking to Ricky the other day.”
“Ricky? Ricky Turner? The one who buried me in debt and took all my stuff?”
“Right, so you’re still mad about that?”
I scoffed. “Olivia, I’m going to be mad about that until the day I die. I can’t believe you thought I’d be over something like that. If I hadn’t gotten this job on Mia’s tour, I’d be screwed. Bankrupt. Sunk.” The second realization hit. “Doyouknow where he is? Does Kevin?”
“No,” Olivia said, her voice breezy. “I don’t know where he is. Kevin asked me to call you and see whether you were still mad at Ricky.”
“You had to call me to figure it out?” The changes in my younger sister were still shocking. The Olivia before Kevin would have defended me, would have known there was no way I’d be over crippling debt and betrayal in a few months. We’d been sisters first and foremost. But since she’d met Kevin, she was his girlfriend first and anything else second. She’d lost jobs and friends, and I wondered if Olivia and I would have lost our relationship, too, if I hadn’t clung onto her so hard.
“Well, you forgave him for the cheating, which, if you ask me, is worse.”
I gritted my teeth and yanked my hair out of my ponytail. The cheating was only worse if you weren’t the one being crushed by debt. At the endof last month, Pasha had brought a bag of apples and two chocolate bars to our dance session because he knew how tight my money ran.
“You tell Ricky that forgiveness only comes when he returns all my shit and all my money.”
“So that’s what you need,” Olivia said, “to take him back?”
“Take him back?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice.
“Yeah, he told Kevin he really misses what you two had, and he knows he screwed up a good thing. So he’s wondering what it’ll take to make things right.”
I closed my eyes and sank to the floor. Could I go back to what I’d had with Ricky and be satisfied?
“I don’t know if there’s anything he can do. Giving back my stuff is a start.” Ricky was a guy who did what was best for him, and I couldn’t see him following through. “He’d also need to pay off the rest of the credit card debt.”
“That’s a lot,” Olivia said, blowing out a breath. In the background, I could hear Kevin trying to get my sister’s attention. “I’m not telling her that.”
“Tell me what?” Wariness crept up my spine. I didn’t like Kevin, and I often thought the feeling was mutual. My bond with Olivia was the one thing he hadn’t been able to sever. But having her call and side with Ricky was a hairline crack.
“No, Kevin.” The background was muffled for a minute. Olivia came back with a huff. “Ricky wants you to know he’s not upset if you’ve been with anyone else, and he’ll take you back without any questions.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Liv? Are you kidding right now?” I wanted to throw my phone. “He’s been God knows where, doing Godknows what, and he’s going to act like I’m the one who did something wrong? He stole from me.”
“It’s just what Kevin said.” Her voice is tiny, like she’d shrunk into herself.
I pursed my lips to keep from letting loose all my opinions on Kevin. My sister didn’t need to get grief from both sides. Already, Kevin ranted in the background about herirrational sisterin much more colorful language. When I’d been with Ricky, I’d been glad the men got along. If we were all together, I didn’t have to talk to Kevin because Ricky was happy to spend time with him. I’d never thought about what it meant about Ricky that he and Kevin had so much in common.
“I have to go,” I said. Not a complete lie. I needed to eat something before prepping for tonight’s show. Mostly, I didn’t want to fight. With Kevin in the background, the conversation could escalate into something nasty. Words were impossible to take back.
“Okay,” Olivia said, her tone still subdued. “Think about what we said. It would be great if the four of us could hang out again together. You know? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
I had tried to get Olivia to visit me on tour. Kevin had told Olivia he wasn’t having her staying with her single sister, who was probably out with a different guy every night. Too risky. According to him, Olivia needed to be protected from guys who would take advantage of her, maybe try to force themselves on her. He needed to be there to keep her safe.
