‘What do you have planned for today?’ he asked when she was seated.
‘First Bond Street to buy some evening gloves and then a fitting with the dressmaker. Why?’
‘I thought I might take you driving this afternoon.’
They had agreed that they should be seen out and about in Town, so people would become used to seeing his widowed cousin on his arm. When she looked in the mirror and saw how different she looked, she had become sure neither the people she had met at Rake Hall nor her old acquaintances would recognise her. Pip had done an amazing job and Susan had no trouble repeating the effect each morning.
‘Why not?’ she said. ‘My new redingote arrived yesterday and I am dying to wear it.’
‘Perfect.’
‘Pass me your cup, if you would care for more tea.’
He did so. ‘Thank you. How is the rest of the wardrobe coming along?’
They had also agreed that she would wear nothing but clothes of the highest fashion. After all, their masked ball was to be the event of the season. They had already chosen their costumes. They would go as Antony and Cleopatra, the theme of the party being Shakespeare’s plays. Thetonwas already vying for invitations.
‘I have my last fitting today. Madame Celeste is not only an excellent dressmaker, she is also very quick.’
‘So I should hope at her prices.’
‘I have only ordered what I think I must have, nothing more.’
He reached across the table and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. ‘A man must grumble, must he not? It is expected.’
She laughed. ‘You are teasing. I should know that by now.’
‘I like to see you rise to the bait.’
‘Were you thinking we would attend Almack’s?’ she asked. ‘I need to make sure I have a suitable gown, if so.’
Almack’s was always the fussiest of the various events thetonattended. There it would be easy to make a mistake and get oneself excluded from the higher echelons of society. Men were required to wear old-fashioned knee breeches, but for every young miss new on the town it was a must visit.
‘I don’t think so. Neither of us is on the lookout for a spouse.’
‘It will not look odd, if we do not put in an appearance? You, at least, are considered a good catch.’
‘It will not look odd. I have made it clear I am not on the marriage mart. Not this Season. If ever.’
She chuckled. ‘Never say never.’ The girl he chose to marry would be a fortunate young woman. A little sadness stole into her heart. Sadness that it could not be her.
She shook it off. She had given up on the idea of marriage a long time ago. She was quite happy as she was. And would be even happier, once she had her own little house in the country. Would she not?
And yet the thought of Damian leaving, of never seeing him again, left a very empty feeling in her chest. More like a huge hole. What if they had met under different circumstances? If she had been a proper lady, not so wanton, would there have been a chance that he might have wanted more than an affair? Had she kept him at bay, acted the prim and proper miss, would he have thought more of her?
It seemed she had squandered the one thing any lady owned: her honour.
It seemed so unfair.
A man could sow his wild oats without any consequences...indeed, he would be thought peculiar if he did not. But a woman became a pariah. Unworthy.
He said he did not want to marry, but she had no doubt he would change his mind. When he met the right woman. Some young innocent, with stars in her eyes.
Something painful twisted beneath her breastbone.
She squeezed her eyes shut. What was the point in regrets? She could not change her past.
He finished his coffee and rose. ‘Enjoy your shopping, I have an appointment with my man of business, but I will be back in lots of time to take you driving.’