Page 88 of Deadly Force
My thoughts are too scrambled and chaotic to rest. There are too many threads to pull at, too many loose ends that don't connect. I'm bone-deep tired, my muscles aching from tension. My eyes are gritty and swollen from stress and lack of sleep, and my throat feels raw like I'm on the cusp of getting sick.
I honestly don't know how much more of this psychological warfare I can take.
Maybe that's the point. Keep me off balance and so disoriented that I give up out of sheer confusion and exhaustion?
In growing frustration, I lay down on top of the covers and try to pray, seeking the peace that usually comes with surrendering my worries. But the words won't come tonight. I'm too aware of the low murmur of Caleb's voice drifting in from the next room, too conscious of every small sound.
The sound of a car engine starting outside makesme tense, and my thoughts drift to the man who's trying so hard to outwit whatever threat is circling my life like a predator in the shadows.
A man who had every right to be angry with me but chose forgiveness instead.
I owe him more than gratitude. I need to show him I’ll listen now. That I won’t run ahead again. Whatever it takes to earn back his trust.
Caleb
I crank open a can of soup and push some bread in the toaster, listening to the soft creak of floorboards from Brooke's bedroom down the hall.
Any luck, she’s trying to rest. The woman's been running on adrenaline and stubborn determination for days now, and it shows in the tight lines around her eyes, the way she holds her shoulders like she's bracing for the next hit.
I lean against the counter and dial Silas's direct line. The familiar number is burned into my memory from years of check-ins, debriefs, and the occasional middle-of-the-night emergency call. This feels like it's heading toward the latter category.
He's going to have questions I can't answer right now. Questions about why a simple protection detail has turned into whatever this is becoming. Questionsabout whether I'm still thinking with my head instead of my heart.
My mission was simple. My feelings sure aren't.
Sure enough, the second he picks up and I give him the lowdown on the locked room and the phone call that started it all, he cuts straight through the fat.
"Any chance that these are two separate incidents?"
I consider that, running my free hand through my hair. With a woman like Brooke who values truth over her own safety, who would walk into a dark alley if she thought there was a story there, that's highly likely.
"Could be. She’s not the type to back down from a fight," I keep my voice low, conscious of the thin walls and the woman down the hall who doesn't need to hear how deep this rabbit hole might go.
He's silent for a long moment, and I can picture him in his office, probably staring at some tactical display or personnel file, calculating risks and resources. "This is getting more involved than a simple babysitting job."
The words hit exactly where I knew they would. My chest tightens, and I feel that familiar tension between duty and something else I'm not ready to name. "You want me to stand down?"
He blows out a breath, and I can hear the weight of command in it. Silas might be a friend, one of myclosest, but he’s still my boss. "That depends. Are you losing focus?"
I glance at the doorway leading to the hall. I've survived IEDs and insurgents, but one stubborn reporter might be what finally does me in.
"Just doing what you sent me here for. What you authorized."
"We nearly lost a contractor." His voice is flat, professional, but I can hear the underlying grief. In our line of work, losing people isn't just about numbers on a spreadsheet.
Guilt grips my gut like a fist. "I know." The words come out rougher than I intended.
"If you've lost sight of the objective?—"
"I haven't."
"We're going to have to scramble. I'm pulling Reese. I need him at Jericho. Can you make it work?"
I feel the loss like a punch to the gut. "Do I still have Samantha?"
"She's officially off the clock, but she's volunteered to stay on."
"Good. I need her to check at the campus again. There's something about that friend of Eliza's that doesn't sit right."
