Page 131 of Kingdom of Chaos
He turns me gently to face him, his expression serious but not afraid. “You have to learn to control it, or it’ll control you. This is why we train.”
After that initial explosion of power, I’m more cautious when drawing from the gem, learning to filter and direct the magic the way Talon explained. Titus and Imogen show up midday with all the weapons we brought with us through the portal and offer their help as well. Imogen, surprisingly, is full of useful tips, offering guidance with minimal sarcasm.
At one point, Talon pulls out the wavy-bladed dagger I’d insisted we leave behind, the one that looks like Shadow Striker, and shows me how to disarm someone wielding it. The demonstration is fast and jarring, and I quickly realize how critical that skill will be in the fight ahead.
By late afternoon, I’m finally starting to get the hang of it, or at least I think I am, and Talon calls it quits for the day, not wanting to drain me before tonight.
I know there’s more to learn, more I could master with time. But time is the one thing we’ve never had much of. My meeting with Kerrim is set for just after midnight, after the park closes to the public.
Throughout the day, we’ve received updates from the others. Kade and the Order have been working nonstop on plans to form a perimeter around the anticipated battle zone, partly to protect any humans who might accidentally stumble into the park after hours, and partly to keep our fight hidden from the public. Using both magic from some of their creature members, as well as brute force, they’re determined to shield the city from the chaos to come.
The Order is also preparing for a confrontation with whatever forces Kerrim shows up with. Even though we told him to come alone and bring Ensley, no one believes he’ll actually follow those terms. Just like we won’t.
The heads of the different chapters, along with Becks, are supposed to arrive any minute now so we can review the plan one last time and make sure we’re all on the same page.
As we wait, a knot begins to form in my stomach, the kind that tightens with every tick of the clock, every rustle of wind outside the warehouse. I try to sit still, to breathe through it, but the anticipation gnaws at me like a living thing.
Talon and Imogen are discussing strategy across the room, and Titus is running through a silent, fluid sequence with his twin blades, each movement precise and deadly, the controlled violence of it somehow making me more anxious, not less.
My knee bounces uncontrollably. I press my palm flat against it, trying to force the nerves into submission. But it’s like my body knows what’s coming, even if my mind keeps trying to play it cool.
We’re so close now. Too close.
Every second that passes brings us nearer to midnight, nearer to Kerrim, nearer to whatever this night is going to become.
Footsteps crunch outside the warehouse, and I shoot to my feet before I even realize I’ve moved.
The door creaks open, and Becks steps inside.
He looks exhausted, his shoulders stiff, dark circles smudged beneath his eyes, making me wonder if he slept at all last night. But he’s here. That alone makes the knot loosen inside my chest.
“Hey,” he says when he spots me, his voice quieter than usual.
“Hey,” I echo, unsure what else to say. There’s so much between us, so much we’ve left unsaid, but tonight none of it seems to matter as much as what lies ahead.
He glances around the cavernous room. “Am I the first?”
I nod. “Yeah. Kade and the others should be here soon. I thought you’d be coming with them actually.”
“I left the headquarters before them. I wanted a little time to think.” He hesitates, then walks toward me, hands in his pockets. “Mind if we talk for a minute . . . before it all starts?”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I say, and mean it, even though I’m not even sure what I’m going to say to him. I don’t know what I could say to make any of this easier or better, but at the least, I can give him the truth.
Becks walks out of the warehouse for privacy, and when I glance over my shoulder before following, I find Talon’s gaze locked on me. I’m not looking for his permission. I know I don’t need it. But there’s still a subtle release of tension in my chest when he gives me a small nod. I think it’s his way of saying he understands. It’s one of the things I appreciate most about him. His quiet, unwavering faith in me.
After I shove through the door, I scan the area and find Becks sitting on the top of a rotting picnic table in a small area off to the side, probably once a break spot for employees back when this was a working warehouse.
I feel shy and a little awkward as I walk up to him. It’s almost like being with a stranger, which is new. Over the years, Becks has been a lot to me, but never a stranger. Being around him, even when we fought, never felt like this, and I don’t like it.
I don’t know how to start, but thankfully, Becks speaks first.
“Whatever happens from here, and whatever’s happened in the past, I want you to know that I love you. I have for years. Probably from the first moment you punched that bully in the nose for making my sister cry, you’ve had me completely captivated. I wanted to be near you, even if it was just to be in your orbit, because to me you’ve always been the most brilliant, fierce, and impossible girl I’ve ever known.”
My throat tightens. Why does he have to say something like that now? When everything is already so tangled?
I blink back the sudden sting in my eyes and fold my arms. Not because I’m angry, but because I’m trying to hold myself together. I’m still struggling to find my words, but Becks isn’t done wrecking me yet.
He stands and walks toward me, stopping just within arm’s reach. From this distance, I can see the sheen in his green eyes and know he’s struggling just as much as I am. But he pushes through and says, “And it’s not just that I love you—which I do, and will until the day I die—but that I’min lovewith you. And I thought you were too. Help me understand,” he pleads softly.
