Page 125 of Kingdom of Chaos
It reminds me that Talon has been there from the very start, even back in the first Chaos trial, when he saved me after Jules left me for dead in that underground cavern. Since that day, we’ve been saving each other.
I soak in the comfort he’s offering, then lean back just enough to meet his eyes. I need him to see how serious I am about what I’m about to say.
I didn’t lie when I told him he’s been under my skin since the beginning. What’s blossoming between us now started as a seed that was planted that first day, slowly growing ever since. I just didn’t realize it until now.
“I want you to promise me something,” I say softly.
Talon tilts his head as he gazes down on me. “What?”
I take a deep breath, not sure how he’s going to react.
“I need you to promise that you’ll do whatever it takes to protect Ensley and Becks tomorrow night, even if it means sacrificing me.”
They’re my family. If anyone should make it out alive, it’s them, and everyone else who’s risked so much to help.
Titus, Talon, even Imogen. If they all survive and make it home, then it’s worth it.
Even if I don’t.
“I’m prepared for whatever happens tomorrow,” I add. “But I won’t be able to focus if I’m worried about them.”
Talon goes still. His shoulders tense; his eyes flash with a mix of anguish and restraint.
Slowly, he closes the space between us, resting his forehead against mine as he exhales a shaky breath, like I just asked him to tear out a piece of himself.
“I get that they’re your world, but you need to understand,” he says, leaning back to cup my face with one hand. “They may be your world . . . but you’re mine. And because they matter to you, I’ll do everything I can to protect them. Even if it means risking my own life. But I can’t, and won’t, promise to put their lives above yours.”
I huff out a frustrated breath, already knowing this is as close to a promise as I’m going to get from him.
“Must you be so difficult?” I mutter, which earns me a crooked grin. “Well, at least promise you’ll save yourself. That if things go bad, you’ll get out.”
“No can do, Freckles,” he interrupts gently, his smile softening. “Just like you’re wired to protect the ones you love, so am I. If you go down, I go down with you.”
The breath catches in my throat. He didn’t say the words, not exactly, but the meaning is clear.
That was an admission of love.
Talon’s gaze drops to my mouth in a silent question. And Creator help me, I want to answer it. But a small voice in the back of my mind whispers caution, because if we start kissing again I’m not sure we’ll stop. With everything looming ahead, and Becks’ grief-filled face still looming in the forefront of my mind, I don’t know if my heart can handle that tonight.
But I want him to. More than I should.
And yet . . . I don’t.
He must see the conflict in my eyes, because instead of closing the space between us, he leans in and presses a chaste kiss to my forehead.
Even that simple, innocent touch sends my heart into overdrive, leaving me dizzy with everything I’m trying not to feel.
“Get some rest,” he says and then his hands fall away from me as he takes a step back.
I miss his warmth instantly, and have to stop myself from swaying toward him. I have to steel myself. As much as I want to lean on Talon right now, I need to stand on my own two feet, because tomorrow, no matter what he or anyone else says, I’ll be facing off against Kerrim on my own.
“You too,” I say.
Turning away from him, I enter the empty room I should be sharing with Ensley and Imogen, and shut the door behind me.
I tossin bed for what has to be the tenth time, trying—and failing—to get comfortable enough to sleep. I knew shutting my brain off tonight would be a struggle, but with every minute that ticks by, my anxiety only climbs higher.
If I’m not sleeping, I should be practicing. And if I’m not practicing, I should be sleeping.
