Page 113 of Kingdom of Chaos
Warmth bursts in my chest at Talon’s confidence in me, but Becks doesn’t look convinced.
“You’re still gambling with her life,” he says with a frown.
Talon meets Becks’ gaze head-on. “I’ll do everything in my power to keep her alive.”
Becks shakes his head but retakes his seat. “That might have been enough during Chaos, but what if it’s not this time?”
Thirty-One
We concludethe meeting with a plan to lure Kerrim to Central Park in two weeks, giving me at least a little time to learn how to better tap into my new powers, and allowing the Order to gather their forces and plan an offensive against Kerrim and his followers. Tobias gives us a wide berth as he leaves, but Violet shyly comes over to tell us she’s glad we made it and found our friend. I thank her for her help and introduce her to Becks.
She tucks a piece of lavender hair behind her ear and offers him a small smile, her cheeks going a little pink as she says hello. Becks, ever the charmer, flashes her a warm grin and thanks her for everything she’s done. I catch the way her eyes flick to the floor before daring another glance up at him.
I bite back a grin, more amused than anything. Becks has that effect on females.
When the rest of the Order members disperse, most returning to the NYC headquarters to continue preparations, my friends and I stay behind in the empty warehouse to train.
At first, everyone hangs around, but I find the crowd too distracting, so Ensley, Titus, and Imogen trickle out one by one. Becks refuses to go with them. I’m used to him watching metrain and spar at the gym, but this feels different. I struggle to access my magic with his eyes on me, and even Talon seems off. Eventually, I convince Becks to meet up with the others and help prepare for the eventual confrontation. He’s reluctant to leave and makes a show of giving me a long hug and a kiss on the nose before he goes.
I expect Talon to return to normal once it’s just the two of us, but something still isn’t syncing between us like it usually does. I’m not sure if it’s him or me. Even so, he manages to coax the wind and water magic out of me, and begins teaching me how to make the shadows semi-corporeal—which, incidentally, is what he did the first time we met, when it felt like a snake was sliding up my calf at Sloan’s diner.
Progress is slow, and I can’t shake the feeling that it should be happening faster. Something is blocking me. Or maybe blocking us. We’re six hours into training when I finally have enough.
“What is it?” I ask. “Just tell me.”
Talon tilts his head slightly. “What are you talking about?”
“We’ve been off. The whole day. Honestly, it’s a miracle we’ve made the progress we have. But in two weeks, I have to face arguably the most powerful creature in both this world and ours. So if there’s an issue here causing this disconnect between us, just say it. Get it off your chest so we can move past it.”
He studies me in silence for a few beats, his lips pressed in a firm line and his arms crossed over his chest. The longer he stares, the harder it is not to shift under the weight of his gaze.
At last, he shakes his head. “It’s nothing,” he says, turning to retrieve the loose brick we’ve been using to practice my wind magic.
Frustrated, I stomp over and catch his arm. He pauses, then slowly turns back to me with a sigh.
“It’s not worth talking about,” he says. “We have more important things to focus on right now.”
“Yes, I agree. But this,” I say, gesturing between us, “isn’t working right now, and it’s affecting my ability to train.”
“That’s all in your head, Locklyn.”
Locklyn. Not Freckles.
My eyes narrow. I notice, again, that Talon can’t quite meet my gaze.
“Is this about Becks?” I ask, and that finally gets his attention. He looks straight at me for the first time. “You’ve been acting off ever since we got him back.”
He just stares, silent. The longer he doesn’t answer, the heavier the silence becomes, until it presses against my chest and I start to babble.
“Because I know we still need to talk about . . . stuff. And things with Becks aren’t really clear right now. But then there’s also this something that’s here,” I say, and Talon’s eyebrows rise as I continue to word vomit. “And I don’t know what to do with it. Or what it even is. Like, are we trauma bonded with sparkly side effects? I don’t even know anymore, and it’s distracting, and I’m pretty sure I almost set my own pants on fire trying to summon fire magic earlier, so clearly it’s affecting me.”
Locklyn. Shut up.
I clamp my mouth shut, my cheeks burning as I wish I could shove the words back down my throat.
A small smirk tugs at the corner of Talon’s mouth. “Feeling guilty?”
I throw my hands up. “Yes, of course I feel guilty. None of this would’ve happened to Becks if he hadn’t been trying to protect me. In fact, we shouldbothfeel guilty.”
