Page 19 of Lovely Venom
Please read and forgive me.
I exhale sharply through my nose.
“Thanks, Mom,” I grumble. “One can forgive, but it’s hard to forget that I was blindsided.”
My Darling Raina,
My mother’s voice with her smooth accent comes alive while the ink shines against the lamp in the corner. The sound drags me under before I have a chance to brace for it.
If you are reading this, I am gone. I can no longer protect you, and you must be prepared for what is coming.
WHO is coming. Your father.
I hid you from him because I had to. I told you he was a one-night stand during my summer vacation in Tivat, and that he was an ordinary man. But that was not the truth. Your father was a powerful man from a dangerous family. I did not want you to belong to them. I wanted you to belong to me and then YOURSELF.
I feared your whole life that they would find us. Find YOU.
Now I must warn you that they have.
Raina, you are my greatest love, my greatest joy, and my greatest source of fear. I wanted more than anything to tell you the truth about your legacy while I was alive. But I know you. I knew the fire in you, the reckless need for justice, the way you never let anything rest. If I had told you, you would have hunted them down yourself. And they would have destroyed you.
A mother cannot survive losing a child.
But I take to the grave knowing that you are smarter and stronger than I ever was. I was not brave enough to look you in the eye and tell you the danger you are in. I was just too sick.
God, I have failed you in so many ways, but I hope youwill forgive me. If you find yourself with no choice but to go to them, do so with your eyes open.
Trust no one.
And please, do not let them steal the fire from you. You ARE their future. The heir to their world. Own it and be a force to be reckoned with when they come for you.
My zemër always, Mom
Zemër.She’s not called meher heartin ages.
Blood rushing through my ears drowns out all other sounds. I release a breath, and with it, bile rushes up my throat. I sprint to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach.
I’m glad Mom couldn’t see how thistruthmessed me up. Strong, huh? How is someone supposed to handle this kind of news? All alone.
On the cold tile bathroom floor, I press my fingers against my forehead, cursing at the clammy skin and my tight chest. I angrily swipe at my sore eyes.
Mom’s betrayal tastes bitter on my tongue, but she was right. If I’d had this information earlier, I would have gone looking for answers. And it might have gotten me killed. By letting them come to me when theyneededme, it put me in a safer position.
For now.
Reading through the letter again, I focus on my mother mentioning a one-night stand. It drags me back to the man I spent the night with two months ago. I’d been so distraught over another failed op in June that I drank myself stupid. So stupid, I went home with a stranger.
He wasn’texactlya stranger. I’d seen him hanging around the new UN construction trailers for months. He was the kind of man you see once and then can’t see any other man.
Now, I have no idea what my future holds. I thinkabout the black card Valdrin gave me. It sits on my dresser in the bedroom, mocking me with the promise of a new life. My legacy, according to him.
By the time the sun goes down, I’m curled up on my bed, holding the damn thing, and dialing the number with aching fingers.
It rings twice before he answers. “That was fast, Raina.”
I scoff, recognizing Valdrin’s smooth, confident voice instantly.
Trust no one.
