Page 129 of An Unexpected Ascension
“My Ada,” he breathes while his eyes rove over every inch of her tired face. “My love.”
She only sobs, her body going limp in his arms.
He drops to the ground and holds her to him, cradling her body tohis. With steady hands, he caresses her head, her face, the tears wetting her cheeks. He kisses each and every one of them that falls as he whispers his apologies.
Dirt crusted fingers curl around the fabric of his black button up with nearly enough strength to rip it from his body. She clings to him like this is merely a dream she’ll wake up from, a dream she would do anything to get back to.
I don’t look away, daring my own heart to feel any damn thing, and perhaps it does. Perhaps my heart aches for the scene in front of me, but I refuse to let the warmth of this moment thaw the ice that's encased it.
I watch until Lucifer pushes himself to stand, gathering Ada in his arms and leaves us without so much as another thought. Alone in the Throne Room, I can feel the demon’s stare, feel it like his own hands are on me.
Snapping my head his way, I intend to say something venomous, but when I’m met with pure dread, my mouth snaps shut.
“It’s so much worse than I imagined.”
His voice is a hushed confession.
“What is?”
“What they’ve done, the Gods. I could read every horrible detail in Ada’s eyes.”
I drop my gaze to the floor as sympathy floods me.
“Well, you’ve brought her back. It’s over now.”
He doesn’t jest, doesn’t dare make a sarcastic remark about being heroic. He does nothing that reminds me of the demon he is.
“It’s just the beginning, Briar. That was our first act of war.”
“You knew that going in.”
“And now I’ve seen what they’ve done to the one the Devil loves.” He steps closer to me. “I regret dragging you into this.”
“I'm not backing out now because you’re afraid. I have nothing left to lose. I refuse to let those assholes continue treating us like we’re nothing but trash or playthings.”
“You might have nothing left to lose, but I do.” Another inch closer. He grabs my hand and pulls me into him.
“I’m not yours to lose.”
“No, maybe you’re not mine, but losing you would hurt all the same. I don’t want to exist without you. Even if you hate me for the rest of eternity, even if you only scowl at me, even if you stab me, Briar, because I’d rather have all that than nothing at all.”
I shut my eyes refusing to meet that heated gaze. His hands slide to the sides of my face, and I wait. I wait for another one of his forceful kisses, but it never comes.
“I don’t hate you,” I finally tell him. “I just don’t love you.”
Slowly, his hands fall from my face and when I open my eyes, I find a maddening cluster of hurt and pain entwined with navy blue. Each step he takes towards the Throne Room doors are permanently seared into my mind.
There’s a terrible ripping sensation inside my chest where my hardened heart lies empty. Only, it mustn’t be as empty as I tell myself because I still feel when I should not. I thought everything worth existing for had vanished along with my mother and my unborn daughter, but here I stand, feeling worse than I possibly could.
What I told the demon is true. I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him because I just can’t feel, which means I can’t possibly love him either. Except?—
No, I’m in no place to love anyone. Not even myself.
The only room inside this soul of mine is reserved for vengeance.
Chapter 40
The Demon
