Page 119 of An Unexpected Ascension
It was all a dream.
I run the back of my hand across the sweat coating my forehead and try to regulate my breathing. Ruby light shimmers through the curtains of my room and a single ray draws my eyes toward the door of my ensuite.
I blink once. Then twice, trying to understand what I’m seeing. The floors are flooded with a wet, red substance and I can’t tell if it’s just the reflection of the sun or...
Looking down, I lift my other palm to my eyes.
It was real.
Encased in a glass heart is my Bean.
Last night comes flooding back to me like a freight train, paralyzing me upon impact.
I couldn’t protect my own child, dying with her inside of me.
A hand curls around my own, cupping the precious relic.Carefully, Lynx pulls me back down into his embrace and I’m too numb to bother objecting.
“I had to know,” I mutter.
That strong, calloused palm lays along the side of my face forcing my eyes to his. Inside of them I see the oceans depth, the endless night sky, I see a man with a heart and soul. And what scares me the most isn’t the obvious affection glittering back at me, but the emptiness I feel in return.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, the words nearly ringing louder than the gunshot in my dreams. His fingers brush an errant strand of hair from my face, then he plants a kiss on my forehead. “Briar, when I found you last night—” he sucks in a shaky breath, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in all of my existence.”
“The demon? Scared?” I tease, but my heart only twinges.
He catches the wince and matches it with his own.
“I thought I was going to lose you.”
“Didn’t you know? I’m already dead.”
His eyes search mine, digging for something real, but all I have right now are heartless jokes and a hollow soul.
“I meant up here.” He taps lightly at my temple.
“And what would it mean if you had?” I challenge. “I am, after all, yours to torment and ruin for all eternity. Isn’t that what you said? Luckily for you, Hell did most of the work.”
“Briar.” My name is a plea on his tongue.
“You got what you wanted. I’m thoroughly and utterly ruined.”
If I had the energy I would storm out of this room and as far away from him as possible, but my limbs are boneless and the torment of being near him is nothing compared to what I’ll feel inside my heart forever.
“I didn’t want this. I don’t want this!” he growls, pushing himself up to sit against the headboard. “Briar, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve treated you with such carelessness as if your heart was as absent as my own, but I’ve learned, maybe only recently, that it’s not so absent. It beats right here.” He palms the center of his chest. “Andthe way it was beating last night at the sight of your misery,” I watch his throat as he swallows, “Devil, save me because if I lost you, I’d be close to follow.”
I squeeze the glass in my hand, studying it – my baby.
When I don’t respond, he continues.
“I was wrong to hate you. Wrong to take my vengeance out on you for what your ancestor did to my sister. It wasn’t your fault and I’ve known that?—”
“Yet here I am in Hell.”
“That I won’t apologize for. You know what’s coming. You’ve seen the truth of what those Gods are. You believe in the cause of this war.”
Yes. I guess here is better than Heaven. Especially knowing my mother isn’t even there, yet I don’t deign him a response.
“But I am sorry for everything else. You don’t deserve this. Any of it. The brutal ending, the games I played with you, the bitter, harsh truth.” He lifts my chin, my head shifting on the pillow allowing our eyes to meet. “Briar—” he sucks in a deep breath, then exhales, “—fuck, I think I love you.”
