Page 97 of An Unexpected Ascension
I slip a piece of meat into my mouth, chewing all while watching him.
When his eyes snap up to mine, he glowers.
“What?”
“You eat like an animal.”
“I’m starving.”
“If you can conjure up beds and tents and food whenever you wish, why not eat when you’re hungry?”
“I only use the power I need. Especially while Lucifer is left alone and I’m out here draining him of it.”
“Surely a meal won’t push him past the edge.”
“Perhaps not.” When he swallows, he asks, “Why do you cry at night?”
Startled by the question, I only hum. It’s then that he drops his fork beside him, the metal clanking against the plate noisily.
“What kind of question is that?”
“Your crying, it keeps me up?—”
“Then maybe you should give me my own tent.”
“Mmmm, perhaps you cry because you like when I hold you.”
“I'm not responsible for what I do in my sleep.”
Dropping my fork, I ready myself for yet another argument.
“Do you cry for your mother? For yourself as you cower from the hands of a violent man? Or is it another reason entirely?”
“All of it.”
“Tell me.”
I don’t know why I oblige him. He asks only to bring forth those horrible terrors and nothing else.
So, I say, “I cry for my mother, yes. I cry for myself. Not just because of the violence I lived through, but for a father that was never there. For a life I could have lived if my mother never got sick. But I also cry for the girl with the same face that stares back at me now.”
I wait for that all too familiar snarl to sound through the tent, but it never comes.
Instead, he holds my stare.
“Mercy was only a few years younger than me. Not even past twenty-one when she...” He clears his throat. “If I could cry, I would cry for her too. For the brother I wish I could have been to her.”
“From what you’ve told me, you seemed like a decent brother. You protected her as much as you could.”
He gnaws on his lower lip, reliving days from his horrible youth.
“And yet, it wasn’t enough.”
“You can’t blame yourself for all of eternity because of what happened to her. It wasn’t your fault.” Navy eyes snap up, finding mine. “And it wasn’t mine, so don’t even go there.”
“Wasn’t going to.”
“Then what’s the look for?”
