Page 41 of An Unexpected Ascension
“Speaking of hot, anyone you care to share about from your life?” I ask, resuming our walk.
“You know, I faintly remember a man. Sometimes, when I try to picture him, my heart flutters like it has wings.” She giggles.
The sound is almost haunting in a way that one might laugh at tragedy, a sick reminder that we feel nothing here, not even love.
“You don’t remember him?”
“Not much. I mean, I try, but it’s cloudy. I think with the happy memories sometimes comes a sadness, you know? Because now it’s over.”
I nod. “Yeah, I guess.”
For a moment, I consider telling her about the cave I found at Galsip Falls. The memories I’ve been able to dig up. There were so many that I began to remember who I was. Understand the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned. It’s been a secret blessing, one that I’m not even sure the Gods know about. Otherwise, I can imagine those trips would end.
No, I can’t risk telling Jessie. It’s bad enough Hermes made our acquaintanceship known.
“Plus, I doubt God would want us watching all our past hook ups just to pass the time.” She snorts.
Her laughter trickles into me. “You are probably right.”
“Although, that doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”
I catch myself smirking, remembering a moment just like that not long ago shared with a certain someone. Before she can notice, I quickly change the subject.
“I used to dance,” I blurt as we start to enter sinner’s territory, grey houses cluttering our view.
“Oh. What kind of dance?”
“Mostly ballet. I was really good.” I smile to myself. “But when I got to high school, my mom started feeling ill a lot, so there were weeks she would miss work. Money became tighter than usual, so I quit. I missed it so much, still do.”
Jessie is quiet for an uncomfortably long time.
“How do you remember all of that?”
“Sometimes it just comes to me.” It’s not a lie.
“You never picked it back up as an adult?”
“No, I didn’t make much of my life after my mom died. I just kind of let myself go, I guess.”
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Bone Cancer. She waited too long to go to the doctor. I begged and begged, but the insurance through her work wasn’t all that great. She refused to pay the co-payments. Said‘that’s a week’s worth of meals for the two of us.’ I had to explain to her that if she didn’t go, she was going to keep missing work and that was worse than spending the money to get checked out. Sure enough, that first visit led to more tests, which led to debt and a death sentence.”
“Have you found her, yet?”
“No. I’ve asked around, but no one seems to have heard of her.”
“You should try calling her name. Every time I call my brother’s, he appears.”
“I’ve tried that.”
“Hmm. Well, I can help you look. Maybe if you can show me a memory of her, I can keep an eye out.”
“Thanks, Jessie.” I smile at her, pausing my steps.
“See you tomorrow?”
“Yep. Tomorrow.”
