Page 110 of An Unexpected Ascension
I shake my head. “I know. I didn’t mean it in that sense. I just meant I thought my heart would be safe again. I thought I’d feel dull and numb like I always did before, but it still hurts.”
“What hurts?” Concern etches between his furrowed brows.
“Whatever happened in that forest.”
He nods, squinting into the distance. “What did happen?”
“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been real.”
“No, it probably wasn’t, but your fears are real.”
He drops my elbow, allowing us to keep moving. The more I think about it, the worse I start to feel. The horrible images replaying in my mind on some kind of loop. I’m awake and yet, I’m still having nightmares.
My feet freeze, halting me where I stand as I clutch my chest. My heart, my lungs, they hurt so bad. The pain intensifies as fear’s projections steal my mind.
“Briar?”
I double over, it’s so vivid and real and not at all diluted like they should be. I thought it was over when I woke this afternoon, but the infection lingers and multiplies. As if it only needed a little encouragement to latch on and spread again. My heart pulsates at an unnatural speed, and my vision goes red.
“Bean.” The name slips from my lips on a wave of a sob.
Time is against us here, but Lynx still drops beside me and pulls my body to him. I don’t want his comfort, fight it even, yet he gives it anyway. He rocks me, combing back fallen strands of my dark hair.
“Talk to me,” he urges.
“He killed her.”
“Who? Tell me, Briar.”
“It’s not real.”
“No, it’s not. We are, though. We’re real. We’re in a forest in Heaven.”
“It feels so real.” I clutch my chest again, my fingers scrapingagainst the skin beneath my tank top, digging to rip out my aching heart.
Lynx’s hand threads through mine, fisting my fingers with his.
“He was supposed to kill me, but he killed her instead.”
“Who?”
“My daughter.”
Lynx stills beneath me for only a moment before he begins rocking us again. It feels so fresh like it just happened. Like my hands are still wet with her blood and my heart is still shattered to pieces.
“Briar, you don’t have a daughter. You told me yourself. It’s just a delusion.”
I shake my head, the thought of not having a daughter is almost as painful as losing her.
“It’s the fear taking hold of you again. You need to shake it.”
“I can’t,” I whisper, clenching my eyes shut.
Lynx clears his throat before he speaks, his first couple words stumbling out in a choppy breath.
“When I was young, maybe twelve or so, I took Mercy out into the town for her eighth birthday. It was the first year we celebrated because that summer I picked up odd jobs at our neighbor's farm to earn a little extra money I could save without my father knowing. The neighbor man was happy to oblige, seeing as his wife was withering from old age and his sons hardly visited anymore.
“Anyway, she thought we were just going on a stroll to the old sweet shop. The store owner always treated the kids on their birthday with a saltwater taffy. It was the thing she looked forward to the most.
