Page 4 of Code Love
Ariella nodded, but Jade knew that Ariella didn’t really hear her. Jade hoped against all odds that Sheila would survive, but she had been a doctor long enough to trust her instincts; they rarely steered her wrong. Once she had Ariella settled in to wait, Jade left to check on Sheila’s status. She found Lillian just outside of radiology, her face crestfallen. She shook her head slowly as she met Jade’s eyes.
“Why did you have me run the CT?” Lillian glancing back into the room where Sheila had passed away before they could even get the scan.
“Because she was having a stroke,” Jade answered, slightly confused.
“The pain from the fall could have been what caused it, if we had managed the pain, we could have slowed it down, maybe,” Lillian said.
Jade pressed her lips. Lillian knew medicine better than that, whether the stroke was caused by the fall or the other way around, taking the time to manage the pain was just wasting the few precious moments they would have needed if there was any chance at saving the woman’s life.
“Lillian,” Jade started, but Lillian whipped her bright green eyes up to Jade, momentarily startling her with their penetrating color.
“Doctor Holder,” she snapped and Jade pressed her lips together.
“Doctor Holder,” Jane repeated. “The stroke caused the fall, it was almost asymptomatic. I’m surprised she made it to the hospital.”
“How do you know that?” Lillian’s brows furrowed in irritation.
Jade wasn’t sure how to respond to the question. She could piece it all out; each tiny sign that came together to create the picture—the twitch of the hand, the slight relaxation around her left eye when the rest of her face was contorted in pain, her inability to speak, the coincidental timing of needing to check the mail during a hurricane; but despite how badly Lillian wanted to hear all that, Jade wasn’t in the frame of mind to go through it.
“I just knew,” Jade said.
Lillian’s mouth tightened and Jade knew she was fighting to keep her composure. This sent a wave of heat through her, though it didn’t feel like anger, it was… something else.
“You need to trust me, Lillian,” Jade said and wet her lips. She took an involuntary step closer.
“Doctor Holder,” Lillian corrected her again through gritted teeth.
“Doctor Holder,” Jade said with a slight lift of her eyebrows. “You need to trust me.” She understood why some people liked to use their titles; after all, medical school, internship, residency—all that was hard work. Lillian deserved the title, and in any formal situation Jade would not hesitate to use it, but she had hoped that Lillian would loosen up a little around the workplace. After all, these were the people she saw every day, they likely spent more time together than most families.
“I need to do my job,” Lillian countered, her nostrils flared. She took a step backward before walking around Jade, giving her a wide berth as though she was afraid that Jade was going to physically stop her.
Jade took a breath to slow her pounding heart. She was surprised at how easily Lillian had set her pulse racing and found that she was suppressing the urge to go after her. Shaking her head, she turned back to the hallway. This was the part of the job she hated the most, but also one of the parts she was best at.
The waiting room was starting to buzz with people coming in, some of them family members of the injured people, others coming in with their own cuts and bruises. Jade scanned the room, her eyes quickly alighting on Ariella, still sitting where Jade had left her, her face devoid of emotion. Jade took a breath and crossed the room.
Ariella looked up at Jade, but it seemed like she already knew what she was about to say. Ariella’s eyes were empty as Jade explained what happened.
“I should have noticed,” Ariella whispered as Jade put an arm around her shoulders. Her heart broke for the woman, and Jade understood why so many doctors would pull away,isolate themselves from the emotional toll of having to explain to family members and loved ones why they lost someone they cared about. It was easier, it was clinical, one could even call it professional, but that’s not why Jade had wanted to become a doctor. Yes, these were patients, numbers on a chart, vital statistics and diagnoses, but they were also human, and once you lost that humanity there was nothing left to fight. Everyone dies eventually, that’s a cold, hard fact, but even if Jade can stall that for a while, fight for just a little more time, it was all worth it. When the person finally met their inevitable end, Jade could provide some semblance of comfort, some explanation, something to help make sense of the hole that these survivors felt at their loss.
“You did all the right things,” Jade said. “This was not something anyone could have seen or predicted, your mother was lucky to have you by her side.”
“But I wasn’t,” Ariella said as she choked back a sob. “Her final moments were surrounded by strangers, doctors she’d never seen, and pain.” She wiped at a few escaping tears.
“No,” Jade said. “Her body was trying to hold on, her body was doing what it’s programmed to do, but her final moment was with you, taking care of her, being there for her during a stressful time.”
Ariella shook her head, but Jade knew that her words would sink in eventually, most likely long after she left the hospital.
“Is there anyone you’d like for me to call?” Jade asked.
“No, my, um… my husband knows where I am, but we’re not going to risk trying to travel in the storm,” Ariella half-whispered.
Jade’s chest tightened, the woman was going to be stuck in this hospital dealing with this loss alone for many hours, maybe for the night. But she was right; traveling would just be riskingeven more lives. Jade nodded then waved to get the attention of one of the nurses.
“This is Ansley,” Jade said as the nurse walked over. “She will get you somewhere comfortable.” Ansley nodded and took Ariella’s hand leading her out of the room. Jade took a breath before standing from the seat. She knew it was going to be a long night.
She looked up and found Lillian looking at her from across the room. It brought a slight smile to her face as she tilted her head and met Lillian’s eyes. Lillian quickly turned away, looking almost guilty at being caught. She knew she was getting to Lillian, bringing her closer to acceptance, possibly evenlikingJade. The thought made her chuckle. She watched Lillian turn away and head back toward the stairwell. Jade quickly checked her phone, no one had paged her, though she could see that there had been several more patients admitted in the last few minutes. Her staff seemed to have everything under control for the moment. Acting on a whim, she followed Lillian up to the second floor.
She saw Lillian walk into the break room and decided to follow. Lillian was standing by the coffee machine as Jade walked in the door.
