Page 140 of Psycho Alphas: Part Two
I crawled into bed at her side.
She looked too young. I wasn’t all that old, but I’d been even younger when I’d ended up with Dan. Seventeen, with no idea what was waiting. Even that felt like so long ago. Before Knox. Before Ace.
“Are you at my beginning?” I asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.
At the beginning I hadn’t understood how much people might enjoy hurting me… We were the same, but not the same.
For me, it had been my fault.
For Bambi, it had been my fault…
And now she had scars that would never go away… but her fingers still gripped Bunny, and her breathing was soft, calm even, despite everything.
She shouldn’t be, but I wanted to give her a fighting chance, and I knew for me the best kind of next day was one where I could try and pretend nothing had happened. As if I could prove to Dan he couldn’t break me. The worst kind of next day was when I woke still gross, blood crusted across my face, my clothing sticking to my skin like dried papier-mâché I had to peel away while I tried not to cry at the pain.
And then it was like it wasn’t a new day at all.
I didn’t want Bambi to go through that, so I hurried to my closet, digging until I found some comfy PJs.
I carefully tugged the nightgown on, bit by bit, as I pried off the bloody dress and slipped the fresh one over her. It had been cut already from when they’d stitched the wounds, so it wasn’t hard. I tried not to look at how many dressings there were…
Next, I gathered the pillows and blankets on the bed and tucked them around us, then got to work on her hair. I laid down towels and filled a bowl with warm, soapy water. With a cloth, I scrubbed out the sticky blood, rinsing it over and over until the towels were soaked, but there was no more dark crusted red in her hair.
Balancing carefully, I positioned the bowl beside her head so I could squeeze hand towels of water over it. Finally, I lathered up her curls with conditioner. My hair wasn’t thick enough to need that, but hers looked like it would knot up with nothing more than a sideways glance. She deserved to be able to brush it in the morning.
Deserved a lot more than that, stupid.
None of this would change the fact she would wake covered in scars.
She was gonna hate me.
That was okay.
I deserved it.
But at least she would wake tomorrow with as few reminders of Bella as possible.
I turned off the light, leaving only the glow from the bathroom and TV. A fireplace crackled on the screen—one of my Alphas had found a cosy video to leave on in the background.
I repositioned Bunny so he was between us. He’d picked up a bit of blood, but it wasn’t too bad. I could scrub most of it out, I hoped.
We were in a huge pile of pillows, blankets, and cushions. A full nest.
In my hand was a little alcohol swab.
The last thing I needed to do before we slept.
Bambi curled tighter against me in her sleep, as if she wanted to be close. I snuggled in, trying to untangle all my guilt from the way she held me.
“You know, I have a big sister who held me like this,” I whispered.
For a moment, I was in my bed as Glade pulled me tight. Everything was right, for just a moment.
I was safe.
But… Glade hadn’t been the reason I was hurt. She’d never have done something so stupid as drawing a heart on Bambi’s wrist like that.
I know what my Alphas would say—that she would still be with Bella if I hadn’t claimed her. But this guilt went deeper than that. It was only because of Ace—not me, that she was safe. I’d been the one to play with fire, to follow stupid instincts I could never control—and this was the price.
