Page 85 of Begrudgingly Yours
“He’s doing okay,” Jett whispers to me as he offers me his hand again. When I take it and turn back, he winces. “Hey, go easy on my hand now. That’s my dominant hand.”
I release some of the pressure I’m putting on it. “Sorry,” I say, but I know he can see the anxiety in my eyes.
“Dax is handling himself wonderfully, there’s no need to worry—” he starts to say, but then Opal’s hand comes to my arm in a tight grip just before noise bursts out of the fuller audience on the other side of the arena. Someone near us yells out, “They didn’t flag the right person!”
“What happened?” I ask frantically, suddenly lost.
“Dax is fighting that guy!” Opal’s eyes are wide as she points to the ice.
I instantly stand up, looking down at the game that’s now in a timeout. I didn’t see how it started, but I see how it’s going. Dax swings at number five—who no longer has his helmet on—and the alpha falls to the ice.
I start to move to run down to him, but everything happens so fast. Thatcher and Uriah are there, trying to keep the other team from piling on, and Dax is pulled aside by their coach. He spits venom at him, and I find myself snarling as I watch the exchange. Dax is sent out of the arena and disappears before I can so much as blink.
“What happened? Where did he go?”
“Let me show you,” Stacia responds. “He might be out for misconduct. He should be back in the locker room.”
Jett and I follow her and thank god, too. Even with her guiding us I am getting lost.
“How the hell did you know this was here?” I ask her and she chuckles.
“You go to enough away games, you start to realize every arena is modeled the same.” She points to the door in front of us. “He should be in there.”
I turn to Jett. “Let me talk to him first, okay? Will you guard the door?”
He doesn’t have to be asked twice as he gives me a firm nod and stays behind as I dart through the door.
My first thought is about how gross it is in this locker room. The smell is abhorred because of the shared space, but it’s also absent of any descenter. I have the slight suspicion that it’s on purpose to overstimulate the other team before they’ve even hit the ice. There’s so many smells, and the space is so small, that I feel an instant headache coming in.
I round the corner and see him, sweaty and defeated, his jaw clenched so hard it looks like he might pop something.
“Coach, Itoldyou it could wait until halftime,” my blond alpha says, but then he looks up at me, his eyes widening in fear as he growls. “Rory, you shouldn’t be here.”
I stop in my tracks at his tone, hearing all alpha and not the softhearted, goofy man that I know. A whine makes its way up my throat without permission. I’m trying not to focus on the subconscious fear that wants to rise at the sight of his alpha being so close to the surface.
When he sees that I paused, he sighs. “Baby, I am feeling too much right now. My alpha isangry. I don’t want you to witness it.”
I peer closer at him. The energy rolling off of him is almost pulsing, his dominance fully in the front seat. I should be scared, and a small part of me is, but I’m also mesmerized. Likethis part of him was meant for me to witness. His pure power radiates and calls to me like a beacon.
“Why do you not want me to witness you like this?” I ask as I step closer to him.
“You shouldn’t have to. You said you didn’t like seeing this side of alphas. I don’t want you to regret giving me a chance.”
The worry falls away at the confession, and I close the space between us and sit beside him on the dirty bench.
“I won’t ever regret it,” I tell him. “I want to know and see every part of you.”
“But I don’tlikewhen I feel like this… when my alpha rages. It doesn’t feel likemebut sometimes it’s so hard to let it subside. Like I’m on guard, like someone could come and hurt me or the people I love,” he rasps. My breath hitches at his words, and another crack that I once thought I had morphs back together.
Alphas are just as affected by their biology as omegas. The acts of one don’t reflect them all. The sole difference between different alphas are how they handle it, how they consciously acknowledge their dominance.
My alpha is pouring his heart out to me and it’s the strongest I’ve ever seen him. I’ve never been more proud to call him mine.
“You are analpha.” I place my hands gently on his cheeks, cradling his face so he can look at me. “But you’re notjustan alpha. You’re a wonderful person. And you feel so deeply and you’re honest about it. I know these things. I’m never going to judge you for your instincts.Never.”
“But… your past,” Dax mumbles but still he places his hands on top of mine.
“My past made me put my guard up, made me constantly worried that someone was going to come hurt the onesIlove,” I growl. “I went after Stacia’s ex with a bat because I heard himuse his dominance to beat her down. I left as soon as I turned eighteen because when my mother’s punching bag died, she turned to me. Sherevelsin her dominance and anger,lovesthat she can bark people into submission.” I pull him closer to me, making sure his eyes meet mine. “You arenothinglike that. That’s why I love you.”
