Page 17 of Begrudgingly Yours
She finishes soft, vulnerable. I don’t know why I do it, but I lift my hand and push a strand of her hair behind her ear before I kiss her on the forehead. When I pull back, her eyelashes flutter open.
“More light and light; more dark and dark our woes.”
We stand there, still embraced as our reading ends. The silence feels heavy, but we look over to see our fellow peers all watching intently, not a single person on their phones.
Professor Chapman gives us a firm nod. “Thank you, you two. It’s the first of many today, but that definitely gave us a strong start. Have a seat. Monaghan and Gomez, you’re next.”
I swallow heavily as I watch Rory retreat from the bubble we had created on this tiny stage. After I sit back down, I can finally take a deep breath. I’m relieved that we performed well together, but something else is now weighing on me.
Our time together was pretend, but everything felt so heightened. I don’t think I can avoid our fate much longer. There’s something I have to do, something I’m terrified of, but that something is still better than imagining a life without her. Moving on after graduation, constantly having that what-if… I can’t accept that anymore. It’s not fair to her, and now I know, it’s not fair to me either.
I have to go off my blockers. As soon as possible.
TEN
Playing: When Did You Get Hot? By Sabrina Carpenter
I’m feelingrestless by the time Friday comes around again. Not only will the official cast be announced today, but this weekend is the anniversary of my father’s death and I can already feel the uneasiness settle into my bones. There’s this jitteriness that won’t let me out of its grasp, so I enter the theater full of nerves and anguish.
I’ll admit that I’ve been a hermit this past week. Besides hanging out with Opal in our living room, I’ve been avoiding everyone else. Specifically, I’ve avoided going anywhere I can run into the three men whose attractiveness has taken over my life. It feels like my omega has betrayed me. She’s completely ignoring my feelings of uneasiness surrounding the situation, much more interested in sending me flirty images of the men I’m trying desperately not to think about.
Why the hell are there suddenly so many alphas in my life?! I’ve stayed away this long. Sleeping with Dax and Everettwas a lapse in judgment, and I feel like I’m now being punished for it.
Of course my omega will no longer be satisfied by meaningless flings with betas when she has smelled pheromones that want her and confused a callback audition as a mating call.
That last one has still left me wholeheartedly freaked. I mean… it’sJett. My omega does know that, right? He’s the bane of our existence.
Speaking of, my traitorous eyes find him as soon as I walk into the dimmed theater. He’s sitting in the front row to the left, looking at his phone and lounging in a way that’s both nonchalant and speaks of nerves. I know we read for Romeo and Juliet, but did he ever mention who he was hoping to get? There’s a lot more male roles in this play than female ones. For all I know, he could want to be freaking Tybalt.
He’s definitely sinister enough to pull it off.
I take a seat as far away from him as I can, not even realizing that I can see the back of Nicole’s head. Even the back of her head screams of arrogance, not a single hair out of place. Maybe I’m still bothered by her brazen dialogue the other day. Regardless, being near her makes me clam up in a way that’s unusual for me.
Professor Chapman is already on stage, sitting on a tall stool as he overlooks us. When the last student arrives, he greets us and shows us the stacks of scripts beside him.
“Remember, even if you’re not cast, this class is more than just putting on a production for the theater department. We’re here to do a scene-by-scene analysis of Shakespeare’s greatest works. Everyone will receive a script so we can dive in, but all extras will wait to get theirs until after the cast is announced. Any questions?” The class answers with silence. “Good, let’s get started. For the quaint role of Balthasar, Mr. Nichols?—”
He goes down the list, from the smaller roles to the mainones. After Lady Montague and The Nurse’s roles are filled, I subconsciously brace myself. Nicole may think we’re going head to head for this, but there are plenty of other talented actresses in this room. I’m feeling discouraged that I haven’t landed a role. Even with the limited number of female roles, I still feel crushed at the possibility.
“And the role of Lady Capulet, the character that loves to be hated, goes to… Miss Monaghan.”
My eyes widen slightly. I watch as Nicole gets up from her seat to receive a script from our professor. Her expression is impossible to read, but I know she must be boiling underneath it all.
I’m still reeling from the decision when Professor Chapman states the next role, which is Juliet. “Our beloved heroine, Juliet. I thought about this long and hard, but I ultimately think this person will bring some light back to this role.” He looks up and meets my eyes. “Miss Cromwell, come get your script please.”
My eyebrows fly to my forehead. I don’t even notice there are people clapping until the person beside me gives me a hug in celebration. I mindlessly make my way to the front of the room and receive my script, purposefully keeping my gaze away from the sneer that I know is on Nicole’s face.
A few of my classmates slap me on the back as I go to sit back down. They genuinely look happy for me, but I’m so confused. Jett and I gave a realistic and definitely exciting audition, but I didn’t think I actually had a shot until this exact moment.
The clapping around me starts again, and I look up to see Jett stand up from his seat and walk to the stage. Chapman must have announced him as Romeo, so I start to clap too. I may still be stunned but I don’t want anyone around me to think I don’t want to act on stage with him. And then it hits me.
Shit. He’s going to be Romeo, and I’m Juliet. That sounds like a lot of late nights, a lot of practicing lines. My omega preens at the idea of getting so much attention from this alpha.
I grit my teeth at the beast inside of me. We’re going to fight if she keeps this up.
The rest of class includes simple line reading with everyone reading their own lines for the first time. We go through the first two scenes, stopping for debate here and there. When it’s finally over, I feel relieved that I can finally go home so I can process my feelings.
“Miss Cromwell, can you stay back for a few minutes?” Professor Chapman asks as everyone starts to pile out. I collect my stuff and meet him at the front, excited to thank him.
