Page 41 of Begrudgingly Yours
Before everything crashed and burned, it was great. The rush of dopamine, the feeling of finally having her in my arms, the sounds I was able to pull from her lips… it’s all tainted now. The memory is overridden by guilt. I should have known we were going too fast, even though our inner counterparts were keeping us from seeing reason. We can’t let our biology dictate us like that, not again. Not until we can figure out how to deal with this unfortunate situation.
Not until she can forgive me for keeping her in the dark.
The look on her face as she kicked me out made me feel nauseous. Knowing that our moment together caused her discomfort,pain. I had to pull over to throw up on my way home just thinking about it.
The only good thing is that my scent has morphed into something new over the years. It doesn’t trigger those distressing memories anymore. While I’ve been hiding it, my scent has morphed into something more me, mixing with my love of leather to create a brand new amber aroma. I am both relieved that I no longer have to live with the smell of my trauma and ashamed that I didn’t let it do this naturally over the years. But it’s not something I can regret. I made my choices, and I have to live with them now.
It’s been a few days and I’m still worse for wear. I feel like my heart has been pulled from my chest and is now walking outside my body, further and further away from me. I want to just wallow in the misery of it, but Everett texted me to hang out and I really need to see a friend right now.
And lucky me, I get to finally see where Everett calls home.
The building is bigger than I expected. Alpha Xi isn’t the biggest fraternity on campus, but it is the most well-known. I think it’s because they’re less seclusive than the other Greek houses on campus. They enjoy including others in their work, which is made apparent by their free tutoring program.
Everett opens the door before I can knock, somehow sensing my arrival. “Your smell is back,” he says with a dopey smile as he stands to the side to let me in.
I scrunch up my nose and mutter a self-deprecating, “Unfortunately.”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “I’m guessing your scent match knows now.”
I nod as he closes the front door as a group of guys files out of what looks to be the kitchen. I recognize Sam and Atlas, but not the guy beside them.
“You guys remember Jett from the library, right?” Everett says, motioning towards me.
Atlas is the first to smile wide. “Oh shit, hey! This is my pack mate, Uriah.”
Uriah is a sick ass name. “Nice to meet you,” I say.
He nods in response, but there’s a suspicious look on his face. “Do you know Rory Cromwell?”
I widen my eyes at him.What the fuck?
“Uh… yeah, we’re in the same major,” I answer, and realize that Atlas and Sam are looking at us with a lot more interest now.
“I thought so. You guys are doing a play together, Romeo and Juliet?”
I nod as casually as I can. I guess it makes sense he knows about me, his mate is Rory’s best friend. He gives me a sincere smile. “Congrats, man. My omega can’t wait to see it.”
Professor Chapman would probably shit bricks if he knew a whole pack of frat guys planned to come see our play. The thought makes me smile.
Sam points to a room down the hall. “Do you guys want to join us? We’re going to watch the game.”
Everett must understand the look on my face because he laughs. “Nah, I think we’re going to go upstairs for a bit. Let me know if anything cool happens, though.”
As we walk up the stairs, I nudge him. “What kind of game?”
“Hockey,” he says, nodding.
“Oh, cool. Do you like hockey?”
“A little bit,” he says with a grin. “I actually play. I’m a goalie.”
Oh shit. I think I just realized that I don’t know a lot about my new friend. “Like,here? At Bensen?”
“Yeah.” We walk into his room, and if I hadn’t known about his love for hockey before, I would now. There’s hockey paraphernalia everywhere you turn. There’s even a signed jersey framed on the wall, I’m guessing from a famous player but I can’t make out the autograph to save my life.
“Wow.” I look around at all the stuff. It’s not just on one side either, there’s stuff surrounding both beds, covering every bit of drywall. “Your roommate plays, too? Your best friend is your roommate, right?”
At least I remembered that detail.
