Page 24 of Patiently Yours
“Coconuts?”
“Ciro let me use his blanket and my omega wanted me to smuggle it home, but I had to put my foot down.”
Rory’s eyes widen even more.
“See! This is crazy. I’ve nevermetthese men, and just their scents make my omega want to committheft!”
She smiles at me before laughing slightly. “I don’t think he would have cared, Stacia.”
I huff at her before crossing my arms.
Her expression softens slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me before? It’s been almost a whole week. Have you just been stewing over this?”
“Amongst other things.”
She raises a dark eyebrow. “Other things?”
“Don’t ask. Just know that I have traitorous hormones. That, or I’m going through a second unexpected puberty.”
Rory’s face blanches. “I hope I never meet my scent matches. That’s my worst nightmare.”
“Well, I’m fucking living it!” I stand up abruptly, no longer feeling calm enough to sit. Rory speaks up again as I pace.
“So… I’m guessing you’re not in denial anymore.”
I shrug gently. “I’ve been so confused. And it’s been barely a month since I broke up with Derek?—”
“Hey, his name is dickwad in this house. I made it a rule, remember? I let you get away with it the first time, but no more.”
I roll my eyes at her before continuing. “I’m not… built for a pack, remember? When it was just Ciro asking me on a date… sure, I could rip the bandaid off. But a wholepack?” I shake my head. “I’m not ready for something like that. Don’t scent matches normally move at a ridiculously fast rate?”
Rory grabs my arm as I’m pacing by and tugs me back to a seated position. “I think that’s a superstition. You get to move at whatever pace you feel most comfortable. I’m sure, if these guys are really your scent matches, that they will want to give you whatever you want. You just have to ask for it, okay?”
I see the confidence and reassurance on her face and nod softly. I consciously know these things are true, but something deep inside me wants to render its ugly head: the part that’s full of all the negative things once said to me. Whether they came from my parents or Derek, they all blend in that crevice of my brain and form a very convincing voice.
“And Stacia? I’m so fucking happy you might have found your scent matches. I know it’s scary, but you haven’t been happy in a relationship in a long time. It’s only been a few weeks, sure, but we both know it was over a lot longer than that. You deserve to find your happiness, and this could be it. Don’t jump ship before you’ve even been able to enjoy the coconuts.”
I look over at her face, which is about to break out into giggles. I try to stay strong, but her amusement pulls out my own. We break out into a mutual laughter.
“That was low,” I tease, poking her in the shoulder.
“I couldn’t help it.” Her giggles fade out. “The rest was sincere, though. I love you, and I want you to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and webothknow that includes a pack.”
Yes, we do. I’ve let myself push that dream away for so long now, I still don’t wholeheartedly believe I deserve it. But I believe Rory when she says I should try. It’s the least I can do.
FOURTEEN
Playing: Bird of Prey by Emily James
We agreedto meet at seven o’clock, so I’m here at exactly 6:58. It feels daunting as I walk onto their doorstep, like all the control I’ve been trying to hold onto this past week will disappear the second I tread past this barrier.
I raise my fist to knock but stop. I can feel that same swirling in my stomach, like some deep-rooted anxiety is causing physical uneasiness. It twists and turns, causing me to take a step back. I try to remember which breathing exercises normally help with panic attacks before I have a distressing thought:what if I puke on their carpet?
Oh god, I can’t puke in front of them, not from nerves of all things. At least let me get sick from fucking food poisoning, notanxiety.
I realize I can’t just loiter on their porch. They’ll eventually figure out I’m out here. I can’t decipher which one is more embarrassing: having a freak out outside their door or having one in their living room.
I breathe in deeply through my nose and blow it out slowly. The act helps the tiniest bit. My omega tries to ease me through a few more breaths. When I finally feel like I have my emotions under control, I raise my fist to knock once more before I can convince myself not to.
