Page 76 of Patiently Yours
I nod. I thought about that, too. “What’s important to me is your safety. You and Ciro can watch them remotely for now. We know you care about us and want to support us, but we have to sacrifice this. Protecting you is the priority.” Her eyes gleam over, and I brush away the tear threatening to fall. “Besides. There’s only a month or so left depending on how far we make it in the conference. He didn’t declare for the draft. You’ll be able to see me play again, just at a much larger scale.”
She nods, thinking it through. “Okay,” she agrees, rubbing my chest. I close my hand over hers before squeezing it. “But that means I won’t missanyfuture games. Not even an away game, so be prepared for that.”
My heart swells. That means she’s thinking about the future, a potential future withus.
“I’m sure the guys won’t mind taking turns traveling and sightseeing with you. That sounds like an absolute dream.”
We fall silent, and it shines a light on the other thing I need to say. Something that I wish I could just bury and forget, but futures aren’t built on omissions. I can’t keep this from her.
“Stacia, there’s something else we need to talk about.”
She quirks a brow at me, trying to hide the anxiousness I just evoked.
“That day, back in October… when you picked Derek up from the locker room. I was there. I smelled you. It hit me like a freight train. By the time I pulled myself together, you were gone. I had no idea who you were. I only had the assumption that you knew Derek.”
Her expression changes as she processes. There’s a softness even as her forehead creases in thought. There’s an array of emotions, and I hate that I’m the one that caused them.
I continue, “I never told my pack. Looking back, I should have. But I wanted to protect them, just in case I was wrong. Finding out that was the same night that Derek—” A small growl tries to emit from my chest. “I’ve felt uneasy. Doubting my choice, thinking maybe I could have found you somehow. But I didn’t, not until that night at the party. Kendall punching Derek, that was a tell-tale, but it wasn’t until Ciro told me what you smelled like…thenI knew for sure. I had fucked up.”
She swallows. “So… that’s why Ciro sought me out.”
I nod. I go to caress her arm, but hesitate. Ihatethat I hesitate.
“Technically, he probably would have done that anyway. The night you met, he was drunk and sad after you left. He said the prettiest girl at the party had left, so there was no reason to be there anymore.”
Her lips tilt up at that. “He is dramatic, isn’t he?”
The rhetorical statement brings a smile to my face. “He balances out all of my seriousness, that’s for sure.”
When I feel the tension ease away, I finally rest my hand on her arm, caressing it gently. She melts into me, and I give a breath of pure relief.
“I am sorry. I keep looking back, trying to figure out what I could have done so you didn’t have to go through that. I messed up.”
She shakes her head and looks at me with sad eyes. “Rory tried to get me to see reason after that night. I ignored it, pretended it wasn’t happening. That’s a choiceImade. I don’t want you to carry that burden.”
“I think it’s a burden we share, then,” I rationalize. “We both could have made different choices. We just didn’t.”
“And yet, we’re still here. Together.” Her hand comes up to my face and rubs my cheek. “Whether or not the choices we made were the right ones, they led us here. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, Atlas.”
She kisses me, soft and tired. I don’t feel completely absolved of my guilt, but I’m glad she finally knows. I don’t deserve her compassion.
I’m going to do whatever I can to make it up to her.
After a few moments, she’s so still that I assume she’s sleeping. Then she moves her head slightly, her chin resting beside my pec, and whispers the sweetest words. “Will you read to me?”
I feel my heart squeeze, knowing this girl is so fucking perfect for me.
“I would quite literally do anything you wanted me to,” I tell her, pushing a few stray hairs behind her ear. “But that is one thing that I will take the most pleasure in.”
I climb out of our little cocoon and stand in front of my bookshelf. “I know you prefer romance. I have a small selection but they’re ones you’ve already read.” I look at her with a guilty smile.
“Why do you have romance books that I’ve read?” she asks, her eyes sleepy but surprised.
“My alpha feels closer to you while reading them,” I admit confidently, especially after the night we had. There’s no need for secrets between us, not anymore. I don’t feel any regret or shame at the things I did while my alpha was insecure, and whatI’ll probably continue to do because romance books aren’t half bad.
That’s a poor statement. They are really fucking entertaining.
She preens at my words, her smile bright. “I can’t believe you did that.”
