Page 20 of Patiently Yours
The game entersthe second period. I hate to admit it, but I am enjoying this game a lot more than I ever did when I went to watch Derek. I can’t even remember his number, so I watch nameless peers of mine slide back and forth on the ice as they try their best to maintain Bensen U’s lead.
I put down the hazelnut M&Ms, because I can’t possibly eat anymore, and pick up the glass of wine that Ciro had poured for me. It’s a beautiful Malbec that Ciro explained to me was grown locally in his parents’ hometown in Argentina. I had wondered where his subtle accent had originated. He shined brightly when I asked him to tell me more about his family, then went on to explain how his paternal grandparents moved here when his father was young, how they fell in love with the state of New York. His father had met his mother while visiting Argentina,having been drawn back there to feel closer to his roots. Then he went on to talk about the trips he takes there with his family every summer, how he loves it but he’s known since he was a kid that he was always meant to be an American boy. “My mom almost fainted when I told her I joined a fraternity.”
His enthusiasm is contagious. I could listen to him speak for the rest of my life and never get bored.
“So,” I start before placing my glass back down and interlacing my fingers. “Were you not keen on hockey as a sport?”
Ciro laughs heartily. “I find it hilarious that I was destined for pack mates that play hockey. I’ve never been one for sports of any kind. I don’t have a lot of hobbies either. I just like to enjoy my time no matter what I’m doing. But I won’t lie and say that supporting them in their endeavors hasn’t been the time of my life, because it has. I enjoy every game of theirs I watch, and I love spending time with them afterwards, win or lose.”
His eyes light up while talking about his pack mates. It makes me feel a bit envious. Not only because he has it, but because he’s so open and receptive to the idea of it. Eventhinkingabout having a pack one day makes me nervous, because then there are multiple people who have the potential to hurt me.
“Tell me more about them,” I find myself saying in a soft whisper. He looks at me, a curious glint in his eyes. “Your pack mates.”
He smiles compassionately before looking back at the screen. He gives a soft point. “Do you see number fifteen? He’s got blond hair under his helmet. That’s Kendall, the one whose blanket is keeping you warm.” My cheeks redden, but he keeps going. “He’s also the one who punched Derek at that party. He’s normally the least hot-headed next to our prime, but he got worked up that night, I guess.” He gives what he thinks is a casual shrug, but I can see there’s something else behindthat statement. I don’t get to investigate it before he continues. “He’s like… a golden retriever and a surfer bro all mixed into one. That’s the best way to describe him. He’s always smiling, he’s always in a good mood. If you’re looking to procrastinate for a few hours and goof off, he’s your guy. And don’t tell him I told you this, but he can bake literally anything. Claims it was something he did to bond with his grandmother, but you’ll find him in the kitchen almost as much as the ice. He’s also heavily obsessed with old fashioned arcades. He’s a bit unbearable if he finds a Dig Dug machine.”
I listen intently, sneaking another whiff of the coconut embedded in the blanket. Ciro points at someone else when the screen angles to a defenseman pushing another player into the boards.
“That’s Uriah. He’s the sweetest alpha you’ll ever meet. People think he’s a grump because he’s very intense, and people find that mysteriousness a bit intimidating, but that’s just because he’s selective on who he spends time with. He cares about our pack and he likes music, but he’s very protective of his art. He’s not quite sure where he wants his career to go yet, so he’s tightlipped about it. Or maybe that’s modesty, I’m not sure. Regardless, he’s very good at what he does.”
“And finally.” I follow his gaze to the person the announcer is talking about. “Our prime, Atlas. He’s different from other primes, but he’s the glue that holds us together. He keeps all of us as level-headed as we can be. He’s very smart, probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. He’ll read anything you put in front of him because he just wants to learn everything he can. You’d think he’d want to utilize that knowledge somehow, but he loves hockey more than anything. He plans to go pro after graduation. It’s his main goal these days.”
These four people found a home together, despite being vastly different. I’m in awe of it. I’m in awe of the level of respect he has for them as he speaks.
“How did you guys meet?” I ask.
Ciro smiles at the memory. “Freshman year we were all pledges for Alpha Xi. Kendall and Atlas had known each other their whole lives. I think on some level, they knew they were pack but the bond didn’t click in until we all met—even though we didn’t know that’s what it was, not exactly. We all lived in the fraternity house our freshmen year, but realized sometime last year that we all liked each other more than average frat brothers. We decided to officially declare ourselves as a pack and moved out. It’s been a rollercoaster ride ever since.”
I watch the proud gleam on his face. It’s admirable, how much these four men care and love each other.
“Do you want to meet them?” Ciro asks, looking at me with a cautious hope on his face. My heart starts to race at the notion, nervousness and anxiety making a drum circle in my chest.
I think about the thing I’m avoiding. How all of their smells put me in a state of calm that I’ve never known. How being here with Ciro feels like home.
I decided long ago that I don’t deserve a pack. I especially don’t deserve one as lovely as this, one with so much love and certainty.
The fact that I’m even thinking of them as a potential pack in itself is bonkers. I’ve only met one of them, and yet I’m assuming I’ll become a part of their lives if I meet them? I must be going out of my mind. Or maybe I’m lonelier than I thought if I could even entertain the idea.
“Not yet,” I force myself to say, even though my omega is urging me to reconsider.
“Of course.” He nods, understanding. I look at the side of his head, where his tattoo hides underneath his hair.
“What’s your tattoo of? It looks like a leaf.”
He grins when he realizes what I’m talking about. “Yeah, it’s an olive branch. Hurt like hell, but I love it. I want to re-shave my sides sometime soon to show it off.”
I brush my fingers over it, inadvertently sending a shiver through his body. I feel the movement and pull my fingers back. “Why an olive branch?”
He shrugs casually, his smile never leaving. “It’s a symbol of peace. I think that’s what most people ultimately want, right? Peace and freedom. The right to choose their own destiny. I wanted to remind myself that I have that. My pack and family are both supportive, and I can do what I want. I’m really grateful to have them in my life.”
I blink away the sheen that comes to my eyes then, shaking my head to force them away.
I’ll have to work really hard to deserve someone like him.
He opens his arms, leaving a space for me to fall into him. I welcome it, sighing at the perfect way we fit together. We return our attention to the game, and I find myself drifting further into his comfort. As I close my eyes partially, I realize that I’ve been present the entire time I’ve been in his orbit.
This is the first time in a long while that I’ve felt completely at peace.
TWELVE
