Page 16 of How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager
At least his job situation was looking up.
His newest one was a consistent, if unusual, intelligence gathering gig for a mildly intimidating white man with slicked-back salt and pepper hair, squint lines around his eyes, and a ridiculous number of trench coats. Vincent decided he was probably San Salud’s worst-marketed freelance detective. He certainly played up the private eye act whenever he wasn’t quoting one-liners from movies or comparing gaming statistics with his loud and intensely animated assistant.
The work he assigned Vincent included tracking when specific people came or left a place and recording what kinds of visitors they received or how often they conducted suspicious activities, like hiding behind hoods or carrying umbrellas during clear weather. Considering how interesting it sounded, it involved a lot of “sit in the micro-cemetery on Peach Street and write up a description of anyone who enters the red door on building #3607 between the hours of 9:00pm and 5:30am,” which his employer, Matthew Babcock, treated like a series of bizarre mini-quests. They often took up the entire night and grew boring faster than blood cooled in the winter.
This was probably why Babcock had been willing to hire a raggedy odd-ball with no address and no references who only took cash. Also the fact that he wasn’t paying much, all things considered. But it was enough reliable income for Vincent to feel comfortable making a few well-deserved purchases. He picked through the thrift store after that night’s work for his own long coat with a hood large enough to hide him from the sun and splurged on a sandwich at a rundown café with plugs for phone charging.
That was the highlight of his day, sitting in a back booth with his phone and texting as he nibbled at his meal. His mouth still stung mildly from the spicy ramen, but the lingering pain of his time with Wesley was well worth it to watch the man’s messages appear in sporadic bursts.
Vincent3510
Wait am I supposed to set my name to something cool on this?
LordOfTheWin
You can use the nickname function.
Or you can be boring, I guess.
LordOfTheWin
Your call.
Vincent3510
Okay hold on.
NotABoringName
How about this?
Wait wait I’m changing it.
HotMouth
Tada!
This is better.
LordOfTheWin
Dude I just choked on my breakfast.
(I love it.)
HotMouth
Please don’t die.
LordOfTheWin
Not without you here to exsanguinate me ;)
HotMouth
No!
Also that’s disgusting. I would never feed off a corpse.
