Page 11 of The Fiancée Farce
Tansy frowned. She’d only spaced out for a second. Maybe the caffeinehadn’tkicked in. “I’m sorry? I didn’t—”
“And so you should be.Sorry.” The intensity of Katherine’s glare twisted Tansy’s insides into a pretzel. “Keeping a secret likeGemma van Dalenfrom me.”
“Oh.” A pit formed in her stomach, the squeeze of her insides going full-on boa constrictor. “That.”
OfcourseKatherine wanted to know all about that. Honestly, Tansy was surprised Katherine hadn’t burst through the bookstore’s doors and demanded details before Tansy had even utteredhello.
By this point, she’d been hoping Katherine wouldn’t ask at all. That maybe last night had been some fever dream, a delusion born from too much champagne and chocolate fondue.
“Yes,that.” Katherine pouted. “Quite frankly, I’m hurt. No. I’mwounded.” Katherine sighed theatrically. “How could you keep a secret like that from me?”
“Katherine, the truth is...”
Until last night, Gemma van Dalen didn’t even know I exist.
The truth was, despite whatever Ashleigh and Madison thought, Tansycouldget a date; in fact, she’d gone on lots of dates. She’d put herself out there, not once, not twice, but plenty of times, and it never got easier. The fun people talked about having on first dates? She didn’t know what sort of dates those people were going on and with whom, but Tansy found the whole process... excruciating.
First dates made her nervous. Not just a little jittery. Full-blown anxiety, complete with a racing heart and a sick-to-her-stomach feeling that made it impossible to keep down food for a full six hours before the date. Not only did the nerves make it so she couldn’t eat; they made her second-guess every little thing that came out of her mouth. The more nervous she got, the less she said. And the less she said, the more she worried, and of course, around that point, the tunnel vision would set in. Her mind would go blank, all the witty conversation starters she’d practiced in the mirror falling out of her head, and, as cause and effect would dictate, her desperation to say something,anything,would ratchet higher and higher, until her brain-to-mouth filter failed her and she’d begin to babble.
It was a lot of stress and sweating—somuch sweating. Tansy just didn’t see the point of dating. Not anymore. Not when her first dates seldom turned into second dates and when, on the rare occasions those first datesdidturn into second dates, and even third dates, she had a tendency to call it quits. Something about going on more than three dates with the same person unlocked a treasure trove of fresh anxieties, most of them stemming from how she’d start imagining their fourth date, picturing what her life might look like with someone else in it, and then feel her hopes start to rise. The idea of falling in love, falling faster than the other person, if they even fell at all—
No, thank you.
She had her store and her books, and it was—enough. It was enough.
Not that she could tell anyone that without confirming what she knew they already thought.
As soon as news of the truth broke, Ashleigh and Madison would have a field day the likes of which they hadn’t had since—God, it would be like high school all over again. Worse, because this time Tansy wasn’t some naive little girl lying to herself; this time she was lying to everyone.
“The engagement is recent,” she blurted. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Could she be more of a coward?
“Recent,” Katherine echoed. Tansy couldn’t tell if she sounded dubious or baffled or just plain curious.
Guilt gnawed at her, the pit in her stomach growing, and with it, her laundry list of lies.
She offered a half-hearted shrug. “And I didn’t want to overshadow Tucker and Madison’s big day.”
She held her breath, toes curling and uncurling inside her loafers, her only concession against the urge to fidget. Slowly, Katherine’s scowl softened into a smile, and Tansy breathed a sigh of relief.
Short-livedrelief. All she’d done was put off the inevitable. It wasn’t like she was actually going tomarryGemma van Dalen, a practical stranger. Every lie only dug the hole deeper, so deep she couldn’t fathom how she was supposed to eventually crawl her way out.
“While I can’t say I loved being blindsided, that was rather thoughtful of you, Tansy. Always putting everyone else first. I believe that just might be your best trait.” Katherine reached out, patting Tansy on the back of the hand in a brief concession ofaffection. Her stepmom wasn’t a hugger. “Your father would be proud of the person you’ve become.”
Her tea latte curdled in her sinking stomach.
“That’s—thank you, Katherine.” Damn it. Now was not the time to think about what her father wouldactuallythink of her if he knew the truth.
Katherine reached inside her purse, pulling out her phone. “Do you have a date set?”
“A date set for—oh, you mean the wedding?” Tansy scratched the side of her neck. “Uh, no, no date. With the engagement being so—sonew, we haven’t exactly had time to make plans.”
“You’d better get on the stick with hiring a wedding planner soon,” Katherine said. “The best venues are booking a year in advance, and the same goes for most vendors. The sooner you book someone, the longer they have to help you plan.”
“Sure.” She pasted on a smile. “We’ll get right on that.”
Tansy’s phone chimed, and Katherine smiled. “There. I just forwarded you the contact information for one of the premier event organizers in the city. She planned the wedding of that dating app mogul, Brandon something or other. I don’t remember his name, but his wedding wasfabulous.”
“That’s great, Katherine. I appreciate it. Truly. But enough about... all of that.” They were here to talk shop, not about her pseudo-engagement. Talking about the bookstore was far preferable, books being within her comfort zone. And Tansylikedher comfort zone. It was, well,comfortable. Why anyone would brave the alternative was beyond her. “I was hoping we could circle back to what I mentioned last month—hiring on another bookseller at least part-time, if not full.”
