Page 39 of Count Your Lucky Stars
Margot tore her eyes away before Olivia could catch her staring.
“Are you all right?”
Margot lifted her head. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know.” Olivia frowned. “You’ve been quiet since we left the bakery.”
“Oh.” Margot let her head fall back against the arm of the couch. “No, I’m fine.”
Olivia nibbled on her lip. “If you say so.”
A beat of silence passed, then another, and another.
If you don’t reckon with your feelings, sooner or later your feelings are going to reckon with you.
Margot sighed. “Darcy cornered me coming out of the bathroom. She’s planning to propose to Elle.”
A bright smile graced Olivia’s face. “Really? That’s fantastic. Did she tell you when she...” Her words trailed off, smile faltering. “Wait. Is itnotfantastic?”
Margot groaned and slipped her glasses off, setting them down on her stomach. She rubbed her eyes, pressing hard until colors burst behind her lids. “No, God no. That’s not—of course it’s fantastic.” She exhaled harshly and lowered hands, blinking into the brightness of the living room. Her vision blurred softly at the edges until she slipped her glasses back on. “I’m happy for Elle—and Darcy—but it’s just...” She swallowed twice, throat aching. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”
Margot’s eye burned, her lids itchy, like the skin was too tight.Fuck.
Olivia’s fingers curled around Margot’s ankle, thumb brushing the bare skin along the inside of her foot. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“I’ll sound like a bitch.” Margot choked out a laugh. “Scratch that, Iama bitch.”
A good friend would be doing a fucking happy dance when their best friend got engaged, and here Margot was, sinuses burning, signaling the impending rush of tears.
Olivia made a soft sound of dissent. “You aren’t a bitch, Margot.”
She took a deep, pained breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes scrunching. “I’m happy for Elle. Iam. But—fuck.” Her stupid chin quivered. “There shouldn’t be abut. I should be happy, full stop, no qualifier. Just over-the-moon thrilled that my best friend is going to be marrying the love of her life.”
“You’re allowed to feel more than one emotion at a time,” Olivia said, squeezing Margot’s ankle gently. The sweep of her thumb back and forth was soothing, soft without tickling. “It doesn’t make you a bitch.”
“I feel like it makes me a bad friend,” Margot confessed.
“You’d be a bad friend if you decided to take your feelings out on Elle or Darcy, if you let your feelings change your friendship with them.”
“I don’t want to do that,” she agreed. “That’s the last thing I want.”
For Elle to think Margot was harboring anger or resentment about her good news. To let her feelings get in the way of their friendship, to push Elle away.
“I guess that’s the thing,” Margot whispered. “Idon’twant my friendships to change.”
“And you’re worried they will?”
“I don’t see how they won’t.” Margot sniffed. “Elle’s going to be someone’s wife,Darcy’swife. And that’s—Iamhappy. They’re perfect for each other. Darcy’s everything Elle ever talked about wanting.”
Despite being total opposites, neither ever asked the other to change, to be someone other than exactly who they were. They loved each other, flaws and all.
“I’m just so used to being Elle’s go-to, you know? The person she calls when she needs someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, her best friend, and now...”
“You’re worried you won’t be that person anymore.”
“I don’t want to lose her,” she confessed.
Margot didn’t want to loseanyof her friends.
