Page 62 of Written in the Stars
“Yeah, it was. It was shit.” A gust of wind blew, bitter sharp air biting at the tip of Darcy’s nose and messing up her hair. She brushed her curls out of her face and sighed. It wasn’t like she’d never told anyone this story. Annie knew all the dirty details; Natasha, too. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to talk about. Not because the words were unfamiliar on her tongue, but because she’d hoped that Natasha knowing this, knowing how she felt about the mistrust and disloyalty and how it had wrecked her mother, would’ve been decent enough not to break Darcy’s heart. To be decent enough not to repeat history, in a sense.
Darcy bit the inside of her cheek, the sting of her teeth sinking into the tender flesh of her mouth enough to quell the tears making the stars twinkle and blur. “Mom got custody and child support and a lump sum alimony, but she didn’t have the best money management skills, so it was gone in no time.And she hadn’t worked in over sixteen years so she had trouble finding a job and getting back on her feet. Having seen her go through that, I promised myself I’d never put myself in the same position. I liked numbers and I was good at math, it made sense. I wanted a job with benefits, a job that paid well. And I was going to be good at it, the best at what I do, so I’d always have job security. I wanted a job that would never just disappear or where I’d become obsolete.”
Mom might’ve had Grandma to fall back on, but Darcy didn’t. She only had herself.
“Anyway. That’s why.”
With a wry twist of her lips, Elle shook her head. “You must think I’m crazy. You have the sort of job my mom would love me to have. You want stable and secure and I want—it’snotthe opposite, not like Mom thinks. I’m not throwing my life away or trying to self-destruct, I just wanted the right fit. But she’s not wrong. There isn’t job security. All our followers could disappear tomorrow or a platform could,poof, become old news. Or maybe our book bombs or I mess something up some other way.” The forward curl of her shoulders was subtle as Elle drew in on herself. “That would suck, don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather fail at something I love than succeed at something I don’t.”
“You’re not going to fail.” Lifting her head, Darcy glanced up at the sky, at the stars, her eyes catching on the one Elle had pointed out. Polaris. “Despite whatever your family thinks, you’re... you’re brilliant at what you do. Not to sound conceited by affiliation, but my brother wouldn’t have wanted to work with you if you aren’t the best.”
“Yeah?” Elle’s teeth were frustrating Darcy again, sunk into her bottom lip. “You think?”
“I know.” Darcy nodded. “And for what it’s worth, I take you seriously.”
Elle rolled her eyes. “Sure. Thanks.”
“I mean it.” Darcy gripped the railing and rocked back on her heels. “What I said at Thanksgiving... I did do research. Some of what you said about astrology made sense and I wanted to know more. It wasn’t for the sake of selling it, Elle. I didn’t say it because of that. I meant what I said.”
Elle turned her head, meeting Darcy’s eyes. “I never actually thanked you for saying what you did. For defending me. For whatever reason you did.”
It hadn’t even been a question, sticking up for her. Elle who wanted terribly for the world to be full of love and understanding, or at the very least, for her own family to understand.
In retrospect, the impulse terrified Darcy. Protecting Elle had been practically instinctive, but protecting her meant she cared and Darcy wasn’t supposed to care. Not about Elle, not about her hopes and dreams, certainly not how she might factor into them. Or how Elle might factor into hers.
Darcy turned, gazing pointedly at the building behind them. “You still come here. Even though you dropped out. It’s not a reminder? A sore spot for you?”
Elle’s throat jerked, her lips pressed together. “No, it’s the opposite. When I’ve had a crappy week, I come out here and look at the stars and I remember being six years old and watching my first meteor shower on a family camping trip and feeling awe like I’d never felt before. Stars shooting through thesky, it was like... itwasmagic. Carl Sagan said we’re made ofstar stuffand it’s true, you know? Stars, the really big ones, don’t just make carbon and oxygen but they keep burning and burning and burning and that burning produces alpha elements like nitrogen and sulfur, neon and magnesium all the way up to iron. It’s called supernova nucleosynthesis. Say that five times fast.” Elle laughed and Darcy’s chest ached as if something inside her was stretching, making space. Growing pains.
“Eventually, when those massive stars reach the end of their lives, they go out with a bang, a supernova so bright, so beautiful it drowns out all the other stars. And when they do, they throw out all those elements they created. That’s what we’re made of. We’ve got calcium in our bones and iron in our blood and nitrogen in our DNA... and all of that? It comes from those stars.” Elle’s eyes glistened, sparkling as bright as the stars she spoke of as she blinked and pointed up at the sky. “We are literally made of stardust.”
Moonlight danced off the tips of Elle’s pale blond eyelashes and made her eyes twinkle. If anyone was made of star stuff, it was her.
“No matter how old I got or how much everyone told me I needed toget realorbe practicalI never stopped wishing on stars or dreaming impossible dreams.” A watery laugh spilled from Elle’s lips. She shook her head and sniffed, clearing her throat. “Sorry. Whether you take me seriously or not, I know you think it’s silly. Astrology and magic and soul mates.”
“It’s not. I think it’s nice,” Darcy whispered. “That you still believe in all that.”
That Elle woke up every morning and hoped for the best instead of anticipating the worst.
“But you don’t, right? Believe in that? Soul mates?”
Darcy gripped the ledge like the safety bar of a roller coaster, her knuckles going white and the bones in her hands aching as she swayed on weak knees. Elle tucked her hair behind her ears and turned her head, blue eyes meeting Darcy’s and for a moment, one tenuous moment, Darcy forgot how to breathe.
She couldn’t speak, didn’t know what she’d say even if she could. Instead, Darcy let go of the railing and reached for Elle, resting her hand on Elle’s waist, thumb stroking her through the fabric. Elle lifted her chin, stars reflecting in her eyes, and the curve of her lips dared Darcy to take a chance, a leap of faith. Jump.
Lips covering Elle’s and fingers bunching in Elle’s hot pink sweater, Darcy threw herself off the cliff’s edge and let herself fall. Not to Earth, but toward Elle. Elle, who was magnetic and made it sound like nothing was impossible. That even gravity could be defied if Darcy simplybelieved. That even if she didn’t defy gravity, she could fall anyway and it would be okay because Elle would give Darcy a soft place to land. That Darcy could trust Elle with every fragile inch of herself.
What started slow and soft, a tentative exploration, turned desperate when Elle sucked Darcy’s lower lip into her mouth, teeth scraping her flesh. Darcy crushed herself closer, hands circling Elle’s neck, her fingers raking through the soft strands at her nape as she rocked her hips into Elle’s.
Now that she’d given herself permission to want, to want Elle, she wanted everything, wanted it all with an unbridledurgency. Tearing her mouth from Elle’s, she sucked in a gasp of air, lungs filling as she dragged her lips down Elle’s cheek, skimming the soft, silky skin of her neck where her pulse beat wildly, an echo to Darcy’s own. Tongue darting out to taste the salty sweetness of sweat dotting Elle’s throat, Darcy let her hands drift, explore, sliding from Elle’s waist down to her hips, around, fingers cupping her ass and squeezing, anything she could do to bring her closer, make her gasp, make her pulse dance harder under Darcy’s lips.
The sexiest mewl slipped from Elle’s lips when Darcy sucked on the lobe of Elle’s ear and tugged, teeth scraping her skin. The sound went straight to Darcy’s core, making her ache.
“I—Fuck, Darcy.” Elle shivered in Darcy’s arms, body going tense, then pliant, sagging against the railing at her back.
Fuck,yes. Darcy slotted her leg between Elle’s and rocked against her, delighting in the way Elle moaned, the sound vibrating against Darcy’s lips, and traveling all the way down to her curling toes.
She wanted more. Wanted more of Elle’s noises, more of Elle’s lips against hers, hers against Elle’s, the feel of Elle beneath her hands and between her thighs. She wanted to strip off the rest of Elle’s layers and lay her bare, physically, the way Elle had been brave enough to bare her soul beneath this clear, starry sky. She wanted all of Elle—the good, the bad, the messy.
