Page 34 of The Ending is the Best Part
‘Yara, what…’ Meagan looks as confused as I feel.
My eyes prickle with tears.I will not, cannot cry here.I’ve already lost enough of her respect by handing in a shoddy script that she was wise enough not to read.I can’t stay in this office a moment longer.‘I’m sorry, I have to go.Xander and I will have a new script on your desk on Friday.’
Before Meagan can respond, I rush out of her office and head back to mine and Xander’s station.I need answers.No more whispers and assumptions.I need to know the truth.But when I arrive, he’s already gone.
Chapter Twenty
Five Days Left
Me:Sorry!!Meeting went… not great!Will have to pass on drinks
I send the text in the chat and pocket my phone, ignoring the flurry of dings it makes in response.A bad friend.A bad writer.A bad whatever-I-am to Xander.
After work, I head to Lunar Books in need of comfort and a chai latte.I spot that my favourite seat by the window is free.No matter how many times I come here, that table always seems to be free for me, the refuge that’s there for me when I need it.My fingers fiddle with the sticky laminated menu to distract myself.Xander and I have the rest of the week to pull our thoughts together.I think about what Meagan said after he left.She can see there’s something between us.No matter how much Xander blows hot and cold, however much he tries to deny it, there is a connection that neither of us can ignore.We must have been more obvious than I thought.No wonder the whole office is talking about us.
I go to file Xander away in that corner of my brain I try to ignore:Failed relationships. With Theo, it had just been an endless loop of constant disappointment and broken promises.Afterwards, I’d spentmonthsthinking to myself, why hadn’t I seen the signs, when they were just soobvious? Even thinking of it now, I can feel the sting of the betrayal.And I was just beginning to trust Xander when his actions proved that, just like Theo, I can’t and I shouldn’t.I groan and wonder if maybe Xander’s right.Getting close to someone new just opens you up to fresh but familiar wounds.
I thank the waitress as she writes down my order.I’m lost in thought, looking out of the window, when I hear the horrible sound of a chair screeching as it’s pulled out, breaking me out of my trance.I realise it’s coming from my table.I almost drop my mug in shock when I see who it is.
‘Andrew?’ My voice is laced with surprise.
He throws a smile at me, but it’s oddly strained, not his usual cheery self.His cheeks are red and he’s slightly out of breath, as if he’s just run here.There’s a deep crinkle in his brow and he can’t stop his leg from fidgeting under the table.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘I was in the area and I know you mentioned this place before so thought I’d stop by.’ His fingers twitch nervously.I decide to wait it out.If a weekend with Xander has taught me anything it’s that, if you give a man some silence, eventually they’ll tell you at least some of their feelings.Finally, he takes a deep breath.‘There’s something I think you should know.’
‘Okay…?’ I say slowly.
He hesitates briefly before leaning closer.‘What’s happening with you and Xander… I think—No, Iknowwhat went wrong.’ He winces, as though bracing himself for impact.A hint of shame tightens his expression.
My stomach drops, a sense of dread rising.‘I don’t… what are you on about?’
‘I didn’t think it was a big deal, and I wasn’t going to say anything…’ My hand grips on my mug like it’s a lifeline.‘But I-I feel like you need to know.Meagan grabbed me as I was leaving the office just now and asked me to clear something up.It wasn’t Xander who told Meagan about the initial details of the episode and your romance plot… It was me.’
What. I slam my mug down with an audible thud.It wasAndrew?Now I know, I almost want to laugh about how little it matters.When I’d thought it came from Xander, it had hurt so much more to think of him trying to sabotage me.Because I cared for him.More than just cared for him, actually.But from Andrew, I realise I barely care – not about the job, the embarrassment, none of it.
As I struggle to figure out what this means, Andrew continues, ‘At the party, Xander was explaining to me the disagreement you had over how the story should go.That you wanted romance.He wanted drama.Then, that Monday, Meagan asked me how I thought the two of you were getting on.I said that it was going well, and I had just been talking about it with Xander.Because I didn’t want to reveal the argument to her when you were just getting started, I said that Xander had just been telling me about potentially resolving the story with romance.But now I realise how it must have sounded to Meagan, that it was all Xander’s idea, and I’m so, so sorry that you didn’t get the credit.I hadn’t thought about it until Meagan asked me as I was leaving the office to explain exactly what Xander said.’
‘Oh God.’ I rub a hand down my face.‘It wasn’t Xander.’
All of the pieces start to fall into place.Meagan’s confusion when I said Xander had come to her.The hurt on Xander’s face when I accused him.The memory sends a stabbing, guilty feeling through me.
‘No… it wasn’t.And it wasn’t like I’d gone out of my way to say something… Meagan and I were just having a casual conversation and it just slipped out.’ He flinches at the confession.
A chasm of regret opens in my chest, gnawing at me.No wonder Xander was so angry with me.He’d opened up to me in ways I suspect he hasn’t with anyone else in a long time and I had assumed the worst about him.How will I make it up to him?
‘I’m really sorry, Yara.I would’ve said something sooner but I hadn’t realised things had got blown so out of proportion.’
‘It’s okay.Thank you for telling me.Everything makes a lot more sense now.’
I feel like an idiot.How many times have I yelled at the main character in my books to justtalkto their love interest.But that’s the thing about real life, not everything can go as smoothly.Why was I so quick to jump the gun?Why didn’t I ask more questions?This could’ve easily been avoided if I had looked at the person in front of me, instead of letting my past hurts dictate my actions.
Yes, I was angry, but not at Andrew… no.I was angry at myself for always assuming the worst.
‘Guess I can’t blame him for avoiding me like the plague then.’ I let out a humourless laugh, trying to keep my tears at bay.
‘I probably shouldn’t be saying this because he’d kill me if he found out.But… he’s struggling just much as you are.I think he’s had to face things that he’s been scared to deal with his whole life and he’s using this argument as an excuse to push you away.’ His expression is kind, encouraging.‘But I know one thing: for the past three years, you’re the only person he’s ever wanted to talk about.’
