Page 27 of The Ending is the Best Part
‘I take it you two finally caved, huh?’ Maddie says with a smirk.
Her words hit me and I stare at her in shock.Finally?What does she mean by that?The question suddenly makes everything feel a bit more… complicated.I mean more than it already does.Why would she think we’d slept together?
‘Oh God, no.No!Nothing like that,’ I rush out.Although I guess it was a little something like that – wasn’t it?
It’s as if I hadn’t said anything because Maddie carries on, ‘Well, it’s about damn time.You’ve both been dancing around each other forwaytoo long.’
My mind races at this revelation.‘Maddie, what are you talking about?What do you meandancing around each other? I mean sure!We had a nice time yesterday.But I can assure younothinghappened.At least, not in the way you’re thinking—’
‘Uh-huh.’ This time Amira cuts me off.‘So, you’re telling me nothing happened?C’mon, Yara, don’t bait us.You arewayyyytoo worked up for “nothing” to have happened.We can see it in your face.’
‘Well, we…’ I worry I can’t describe it.It’s not about what happened but how itfelt. The static that buzzes between two people who can’t stay away from each other.‘We didn’t do anything.Me and Xander, we… just spent some time together and it was surprisingly nice.That’s all.’
I’m not ready to tell them about the almost-kiss.It’s too humiliating to put it into words.How it felt explosive and like everything I ever wanted and, then, he just… stopped.Got up like nothing happened.Leaving me on the the floor.
‘Right… okay,’ Maddie says slowly.‘So, are you telling us you didn’t feel anything at all?No connection?No tension?There’s always been something between you two disguised beneath this supposedrivalryof yours.’
I contemplate her words.Something inside me has cracked open and it’s like I can’t stop the flood of emotions that have broken free.What if Maddie and Amira are right?Am I just pretending like it didn’t matter?
‘Well, we had the long drive and we were just so open with each other.Then, we went on a hike and had dinner together and it almost felt like a date, but it wasn’t.And to be honest I haven’t felt this…’ I pause, thinking about my next words carefully, ‘…at ease with someone in areallylong time but the thing is I’m scared, you guys.I can’t—’
I feel my throat catch.Emotion rises in my chest.What if Xander ends up being another big disappointment?
‘Oh babe.’ Amira’s voice drifts softly over the phone.‘We’ve been waiting for you to finally admit it to yourself.Truthfully, me and Maddie, even Andrew, thought you two had some sort of thing brewing between you.So, if it makes you feel any better, we’ve all noticed.’
Feel any better?I think it makes me feel worse actually.How can everyone in my life see something between us, but Xander can’t?
‘I—no…’ I stutter.I shake my head frantically.‘I just don’t know if I can take that step with him, you know… He’s got things of his own he needs to face and what if he never does?What if it’s just a phase to him?What if I’m just not enough?And I can’t forget about what he said to Meagan.That worries me.’
‘If this is about Theo, you’ve gotta move on from him eventually, Yara,’ Maddie says firmly.‘I’m not saying you should jump into something straight away with Xander.But if that is what’s holding you back and you’re afraid to get close to him because of what happened, you need to know that not every guy is the same.Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.’
I feel a slight tightness in my chest at the mention of Theo’s name.I put a hand to my face.The last thing I want to do right now is talk or even think about my ex.I’d been avoiding the topic for so long, but my friends have helped me realise that I’m not entirely over him.Or I am over him, but maybe I’ve not completely healed from his betrayal.
‘I haven’t thought about Theo in ages,’ I say.And it’s true.I try to remember the last time I really thought about him, the last time I stalked his or his girlfriend’s social media pages.If I had to say, it would probably be around the time me and Xander started working together.My eyes widen at the realisation.
Amira has just started to say something when a shadow passes in my peripheral vision.Is it an intruder?I freeze and my blood runs cold for a split second before my eyes settle on the dreaded ‘intruder’ and my body relaxes.There in all his glory is Xander, holding a paper bag in his hand.
He doesn’t say a word, just watches me with a calm, knowing expression.His gaze flicks between me and my phone in my hand.
A wave of anxiety crashes into me and my face flushes with embarrassment.Oh God, how much has he overheard?What if he heard everything?
I rapidly comb through everything I can remember saying in the last couple of minutes.‘I’m so sorry, girls.I need to go.Let’s catch up soon,’ I say, my voice tight as I end the call.
After a few moments he breaks the silence.‘I-I um… brought you your favourite, almond croissants,’ he says.‘I hope you’re hungry.’
He dangles the bag in front of me.
‘You seem to know a lot of my favourite things.’
Xander hesitates before he drops his eyes to the ground, suddenly shy.‘We’ve known each other for a long time.’ His voice is quiet.‘You learn a thing or two about a person.’
‘Knowing someone a long time doesn’t mean you remember all their favourite things.Like what’s Meagan’s favourite pastry?Or Andrew’s?You’ve worked with them for longer than me.’
He smiles.‘I notice what’s important.’
I look up at him, surprised that he would admit something that makes him seem so sweet and vulnerable.There’s so much kindness in his expression, a quiet but urgent request for my approval.I’m not sure how to respond, but I find myself giving him a genuine smile.I can’t decipher all the feelings currently flowing through me.Desire.Confusion.Frustration.I’m supposed to stay mad at him, after what he did, but right now I can’t find it in me.We can deal with all that messiness once we get back to the office.
‘Eat your pastries and get ready, we should probably get on the road soon.I saw a nice café on the way back here.We can get some writing done before we head back,’ he says all of a sudden.‘Three weeks of solid work and we can get a draft to Meagan.’
