Page 22 of The Ending is the Best Part
‘About time,’ Xander says, throwing a look at me from the chair where he’s sitting pulling on his hiking boots.
‘I’m not the one who made us late, with that little stunt you pulled back at reception.’ I roll my eyes.‘I hate exercise so much.This is literally my worst nightmare.’
I groan into my hands.It’s not like I haven’t tried to be active; it just is never a good time for me, and I have accepted my fate of forever being a couch potato.And for someone as clumsy as me, I would personally class it as a health and safety concern.I doubt Meagan has submitted the necessary risk assessment form to HR for this trip.
‘Yeah, I figured,’ he replies.‘But you’ll be fine.You won’t die from a little walk.Plus, I won’t let anything happen to you.’
My silly heart jumps at that proclamation, although I’m sure he is just saying it as a passing comment.
We make our way out of the hotel and head towards the mountain trail.My breathing already coming out chopped, I try to focus on the climb ahead, but unfortunately it isn’t just the mountain that has my attention.Behind me I can hear Xander’s own ragged breath.And maybe it’s the strenuous exercise, but I swear that I can feel the heat of his tall figure.
At some point during the hike, he accidentally brushes against me and the contact sends a shiver down my spine, transporting my mind to places it shouldn’t go.I try to fill the air with nonsense about how much I hate exercise so that this pent-up tension doesn’t swallow me whole.My rambling is interrupted when I realise Xander has stopped walking and I turn around to look at him.
‘What?You exhausted already?We’ve barely even started,’ I wheeze.It has been more than two hours, so we must be close to the top.
‘I’m fine.Just… can we keep moving?’ He shakes his head, his eyes zeroing in on the ground, avoiding all eye contact.I squint my eyes suspiciously.The guy works out regularly, I doubt this is affecting him that much.
‘I thought you were excited about this hike?’ I question with a raised eyebrow.I give him a quick survey from head to toe, because this doesn’t seem like the composed Xander I usually know.It isn’t until my eyes reach acertainpart that I quickly avert my gaze and let out a weird squawking noise.Instinctively, I clasp my hands over my mouth.He doesn’t say anything and instead just powers forward, pushing me along the path.The realisation that l can affect Xanderthat wayfills me with a rush of giddiness and gives me the adrenaline I need to carry on.
I try to put him at ease with a new conversation.‘Be honest.With all the places you’ve travelled, this is probably the least exciting place you’ve ever been, huh?’
‘Not really,’ he mutters.‘It’s beautiful actually.’
His eyes are intent on me.It’s a good job I’m all sweaty and red from walking, otherwise he would see the blush that is fighting its way onto my face.
He looks hesitant before asking, ‘Where’s your favourite place?’
‘You’re going to laugh at me,’ I say after a few beats.
‘I promise I won’t,’ Xander says earnestly.He looks like he’s being sincere, which throws me off.When he’s thoughtful like this it makes it hard to remember why this guy has been my rival for the past few years.
I carefully consider my words.‘It’s actually a place I haven’t been yet…’ I say shyly, looking up at the beautiful blue sky to avoid his gaze.‘I’ve always wanted to go to Japan – specifically to Kyoto.It’s been on my bucket list for ages, but I’ve never had the chance.But maybe one day with the love of my life.’
‘Why Japan?’
‘I mean there’s lots of things,’ I say with a shrug.‘The culture, the history!I just know it’ll be amazing.’
I think of how silly it sounds.For my favourite place to be an idea, somewhere I’ve imagined countless times but never been.Typical romantic dreaming.I remember how Theo used to make fun of stuff like this, saying I needed to stop imagining and start living in the real world.He did that a lot.Took the things I loved and wanted away from me bit by bit until I barely remembered myself.I don’t want Xander to rain on my parade too, so I warn him, ‘Don’t crush my dream.’
As if he can read my thoughts, he replies, ‘I won’t.Promise.’
We keep hiking and are quiet walking alongside each other.A gentleness has evolved between us that feels new but precious.We are almost at the top when Xander breaks his silence.‘My favourite place was always my grandmother’s house.I’ve been lucky to see a lot of the world, but it’s the one place I’ve ever felt at home.’
‘Your grandmother’s house?’ I can’t keep the surprise out of my tone.
‘Yeah,’ he says softly.‘My parents… they never really wanted me around.I guess they didn’t want kids to stop them having their own lives.I had my nan though, you know how I said we were close, well, when I wasn’t at boarding school, I spent the rest of my time at her house, which was practically most of my childhood…’ He trails off, clearing his throat as if to try to escape from the memories of his past.
‘Anyway, it’s simple.She always made me feel like I mattered even when my parents didn’t care.It was my sanctuary, really.But she’s gone now and we sold the house, so…’ He trails off wistfully.
The weight of his words hangs heavy between us, and I try to hide the sadness from showing on my face, but I must not have been quick enough.
‘Don’t,’ he snaps, his voice sharper than I’ve ever heard it.‘Don’t feel sorry for me, Yara, I’m still the same guy I was ten minutes ago.’
I nod slowly and turn my head so he can’t see the pity in my gaze.Actually it wasn’t so much pity, more sadness and anger.Sadness because I yearned to give that little boy a hug and tell him that sometimes we don’t choose our family and that we can find our own family when we get older.And anger at his parents, because how dare they bring a child into the world and just discard him like he’s nothing.
I don’t say anything else after that and we continue our climb in silence, each of us lost to our own thoughts.By the time we reach the top, the tension between us has shifted.It isn’t gone but it’s changed, like a current beneath the surface of water.We finally get to the pub at the top of the mountain and I look down at the view, which is breathtaking, an incredible undulating landscape beneath our feet.Mountains and valleys for miles around.Glittering pools and clouds that skim the highest peaks.But I’m too distracted to really enjoy it, my mind abuzz with everything I’ve learned about since this morning.
Chapter Thirteen
