Page 35 of The Ending is the Best Part
I laugh.Him and me both, apparently.How many times have Amira and Maddie teased me for just how often I moan about ‘my colleague who I justhate’.A million emotions swirl through me and I don’t know what to do with this information.Is it too late to fix this? Do I even want to?I have feelings for a guy who doesn’t believe in love.A guy who says that it’s unrealistic and naive.If I try to patch things up, would he just push me further away?
‘I don’t know what to do, Andrew.’
‘It wouldn’t hurt to talk to him.Even if it is only to get some closure,’ Andrew says.
Suddenly, I know exactly how to resolve all of this.I stand abruptly.‘I need to go.’
‘Good luck.’ Andrew’s eyes glint with knowing.
The cold air hits me the second I step outside, but it’s a welcome relief, focusing me on the present.I have to find Xander and talk to him.I’m not going to let anyone – Theo, Meagan, Andrew – decide what happens next.For the first time in weeks, I feel like I’m taking back control of my life.
Chapter Twenty-One
Five Days Left
Ihead back to the office, hoping that Xander will have returned to work on the finale.He prefers it when it’s quiet and dark and he can concentrate without the disturbance of all our colleagues.We’re alike that way.It’s a ten-minute walk from Lunar Books but I get there in four.My heart is racing when I arrive at our desks.
But the office is empty.Xander is nowhere to be seen.Where the hell is he?I internally scream in frustration.I plop down on his chair, the whiff of his cologne making me dizzy.I’ll need to corner him tomorrow morning, but will that be enough time?We already only have five days – basically four now as it’s late – to present our joint effort to Meagan.I need him to talk to me.
But then, my eyes snag on a small note thrown on his desk.The writing, scribbled hastily, is unmistakably his.
Reminder: Dinner with E.Heart of Seoul.19:45.
Heart of Seoul.My favourite restaurant.Who is E?Is he seriously on a date?Wait, no.I’ve got to stop jumping to conclusions.Look where that’s got you so far, Yara.
I check the time.It’s 7.45 p.m.now.I could still catch him if I’m fast enough.
I could get the tube or a taxi.A taxi will be expensive, but hey, what’s the cost of true love?Feeling like a British Carrie Bradshaw, I rush out of the office and flag down the first black cab I see.The whole journey, my eyes flicker anxiously to the time on my phone.I hope I get there in time.Otherwise, I’ll have wasted an entire journey and a good chunk of money.
What am I even going to say?I want to shout at him.To yell at him for being so cruel.To confess how special our weekend in Wales was.To thank him for opening up to me.To apologise for misunderstanding the situation so badly.To pull him close and never let go.
I get there at ten past eight, not late enough that Xander will have finished his meal and left.I hope not anyway.Heart of Seoul is alive with activity.Table after table is filled with patrons, slurping noodles and struggling with chopsticks.There are smart waiters bustling between tables.The walls are dark wood, with low amber lights overhead.I realise, with a too-late sense of dread, that it really is the perfect location for a date.
I hurry into the restaurant, my eyes quickly scanning the room for any sight of him.For a minute I think he must have gone, but then I see him.
Xander… and there, right before my eyes, is what I suspected.
My heart sputters to a stop as I watch him deep in conversation with a girl about my age, huddled closely together.She’s beautiful, of course.Long dark hair that she’s tied into an elegant bun.She wears a sleek purple silk top that brings out her green eyes.There are diamonds in her ears that sparkle as she shakes her head, smiling, brushing her hand across his.An easy, familiar touch.I see him laugh, which causes an ache in my chest.In my experience, those deep, full laughs are rare.For him to be sharing them so easily with another woman, so soon after what happened between us, hurts more than I want to admit.
I remember now the skipping out of the office and how he almost missed Andrew’s party because he was meeting someone.I can’t believe how foolish I’ve been.This is the Xander I always knew, the womaniser.Sure, we might have fun for a few weeks, but this is what he does with everyone.I tell myself I need to look away, but it’s like a horror movie.I can’t.
Lost in an emotional fog, I realise someone has been saying ‘Miss’ repeatedly, and I feel a tap on my shoulder.
‘Sorry, miss, are you waiting to be seated?’ a waitress asks.
‘I-uh, sorry.’ I stumble over my words.‘I’m not staying actually… I’m just gonna go…’
The waitress looks increasingly blurry as my eyes fill with tears.Then, Xander looks up.He sees me and his face is stricken with feeling.I run out of the restaurant, my heart shattering more with every step I take.I don’t even make it halfway down the street before I feel a large hand pulling me back.It steadies me as I gather my bearings.
Oh, please not now.
I don’t even need to look up to know who it is because I would recognisehishands anywhere.
Xander.
Thankfully, my mind freezes before I let my emotions get the best of me.‘Get off of me!’ I snap, which garners a few curious stares from onlookers.
I wave my hands in the air in an act of frustration.‘Look, I understand.It was silly of me to assume that we—Never mind.I know you’re mad, but after everything we’ve been through I guess I thought… But it’s probably too late now—’
