Page 29 of The Ending is the Best Part
I can see the silent apology in his gaze.I look down, not wanting him to see the heartbreak I feel cracking across my face.
I tighten my fingers round my pen.The clasp cuts into my palm and I welcome the bite of pain – anything to distract me from what I’m feeling right now.‘I get it.I do,’ I reply softly.It isn’t a lie either.I’ve been burned before, but the difference between me and him is that I’m willing to move on and I don’t know if he ever will.
So, that’s that, I guess.He’s not sure.At least I know.I don’t want to break this tentative alliance that we’ve built over the past two days, but there’s no point now in putting it off any longer.The question I should have asked him the second I got back from Meagan’s office.I have to know.
‘Xander… can I ask you something?’
His eyes flicker to my face.He smiles, fondly but sadly.‘Sure.Anything.’
I finally let out the words I have been keeping caged all weekend.‘Why did you go to Meagan and claim my idea as yours?I’ve been racking my brain to understand, but I don’t get it.We were fine at Andrew’s party, but then only a few days later I come into work only to find out you went to our manager behind my back.I don’t understand, please help me understand.’
At least it’s all out in the open now.
Xander’s jaw tightens and his expression hardens.I feel a prickle of sweat at the back of my neck.Despite the fire, a cold chill sweeps over our table.I hold my breath, waiting for him to respond.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Meagan told me that you had come up with a greatromanticresolution to Layla and Atticus’s plot.You know that was my idea.You stole it.’
‘Istoleit?You really think I would do that to you?’ His voice rises but I can see him trying to remain calm.I catch his trembling hand but he clenches it into a fist.‘Is that what you think of me?I know we have this stupid rivalry game we play at work, but I thought it was just a bit of fun.I’d never steal another writer’s idea, and definitely not yours.Especially after—’ He lets out a laugh of disbelief and rubs his hands down his face.
‘What else am I supposed to believe?We were the only people in the office that night, how else could she possibly have known?Why aren’t you telling me the truth?If you just explain, I’m sure we can—’
‘I’m telling you I don’t know.But it doesn’t look like you would believe me anyway.You clearly think I’m a liar and a cheat.’
‘Don’t put words in my mouth.I don’t think that!But I know you’ll do everything it takes to get ahead.You’re ambitious.It’s something I really admire about you, but I think you just went a bit far this time.’
‘Fine.Yes.Yara, I went to Meagan behind your back and schemed this whole thing all so I could take the credit from you.I’m just as bad as you think I am… There!Happy?Isn’t that what you want to hear?’ His breathing is laboured and I can see the hurt in his eyes.
‘I’m not asking you to tell me what you think I want to hear… I just want to understand,’ I scream, on the verge of tears now.The chatter in the café has stilled.I catch a glimpse of the waitress behind the counter staring at us, frozen.
Something unreadable flashes in his eyes.‘I’m done talking about this.I think we’ve made enough progress for today.’ He shoots up from his chair and starts collecting his notes.‘I think it’s best we work separately from now on.You write your scenes and I’ll write mine, then we’ll just try to tie them together after.I wouldn’t want to be accused of stealing more of your ideas.’ He won’t look me in the eyes.
In a flurry of paper, he edges past me, and heads out the door towards the car.
What the hell just happened?He seemed to have no idea what I was talking about.But why then did Meagan tell me I need to up my game?Why did she think the romance plot was Xander’s idea?Does it even matter now?I want to take back the question because I’m pretty sure I just ruined everything.Xander hates me and there’s no way we’ll be able to Frankenstein a great finale from a bunch of disjointed scenes.
I’ve already done enough damage and I don’t want to keep him waiting any longer, so I fold up my laptop and follow him out of the door.
Neither of us says a word on the long drive back to London.It’s unbearably tense.Over four hours of radio silence.I keep glancing at him from the corner of my eye, hoping he will give me something.Anything. But he just stares ahead, as though I’m not there at all.
I turn my head towards the window to hide my face and press my forehead against the cool glass.My mind replays everything that happened this weekend, all our time spent together.It was going so well until it crashed and burned.
As we get closer to home, the ache in my chest expands until I worry it might suffocate me.Whatever we had built on this trip has been broken.I don’t know if I can fix it.Or even if I should.
A single tear rolls down my cheek and I feel more lost than I’ve ever felt before.
Chapter Seventeen
Two Weeks Left
Ever since the Snowdonia trip, the days have been a complete blur.Mine and Xander’s relationship has been put in a tailspin.In the past few weeks, we’ve gone from rivals to friends to something more, and finally emerged as something even worse than before.And I can’t get him to talk to me.
No matter how hard I tried not to, I’ve found my thoughts drifting to him.I try to keep myself busy, burying myself in my scenes, but everything just feels…wrong. It’s not just that he won’t talk to me; it’s like he’s going out of his way to avoid me.This morning he’s working from home, which he does as much as he can now.When he has come into the office, he hasn’t so much as spared me a look, which is honestly impressive when our desks are right across from one another.I would give anything to go back to the way we were.I miss the banter, his stupid smirk that wasn’t exactly a smile, the teasing glint in his eye when he was up to something.The list goes on.
What I hadn’t expected is just howaloneI feel without him.I hadn’t realised how comfortable we were as colleagues.How much I looked forward to seeing him every day, even when we butted heads.There are so many things that we still have left to say to each other.We never spoke about that almost-kiss in the hotel room, and now we probably never will.It will be another open wound between us that just festers.I need him, I realise now.We work well together.I’m going through the worst writer’s block of my life and the best writing partner I’ve ever had is suddenly cold and distant with me.It’s breaking my heart.Breaking my heart in a professional sense, of course.Oh, who am I kidding?We’re well past professional at this stage.It’s breaking my heart in every way.
I thought I had experienced heartbreak before… but it was nothing like this.
