I stood there for a long moment, staring at my reflection, trying to decide what to do next. I was already dressed. It wouldbe easy to leave the bathroom, move soundlessly across the floor, grab my keys, and simply go.
It’s what I would have done if I hadn’t met Jeremy—if it hadn’t sunk in just how much I needed the people around me.
But Ididneed them.
I needed Michael and Bryan, Danny and Tobias. Simone, Nathaniel, Ethan, and Poppy. And my world would have been an immensely darker place without James, Derek, Rico, and even Sadie. Most of all, I needed Jeremy. Without them, none of my dreams would have come to pass. Without them, I wouldn’t have believed in happy endings enough to pursue one.
And I knew I’d never be okay again if anything happened to a single one of them.
If I left, I’d be protecting everyone. No one would know where I’d gone or what had happened to me. Jeremy would always wonder why I had left without a word. He would think I had betrayed him.
And what would he do when I didn’t return? If we’d had that moment of incredible closeness and then I was gone for good, the same way Ian was gone?
I could see it in my head. He would force the fight with Reed that might get him killed. No one would be there to stop him.
In fact, he’d be even more reckless, wouldn’t he?
Because I’d have broken his heart all over again. But if I woke him, Michael and Danny would be doomed. They’d been hunters in life, but they wouldn’t stand a chance against Godric. His ability to appear to me was only a fraction of his power.
And waking Jeremy might put Rico in danger too. He probably hadn’t gone with Bryan and Tobias—he still couldn’t stand hospitals yet, too much blood—so he was likely with Danny and Michael. Rico was immensely irritating, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care.
I cared too much about all of them.
I could still feel Godric’s presence nearby. But he wasn’t in my head—I was sure of it. His gifts didn’t work that way. They were more like Tobias’s, projecting awareness into other places. And, of course, seeing into the future.
If I was wrong—if I couldn’t trust my mate—we were all going to die.
But if I didn’t make the choice to trust him now, I’d doom us both. And probably countless others. After all, if Godric was turning entire towns into vampires, why stop with Rookwood?
Giving the bedroom door a long, tortured look, I went into the living room. My silver knife lay on the counter. I stared at it, swallowed hard, then slipped it into my pocket.
Jeremy!
I practically screamed his name in my head, praying he’d hear it through the layers of sleep.
I listened to his breathing through the bedroom door—it hadn’t changed. I sensed nothing through the bond.
Jeremy! Wake up!
Keeping my expression haunted, exactly like I was about to run out on the man I loved and get myself killed by a psychotic vampire, I moved to the waist-high black lacquer drawers I’d bought in Beijing. They’d cost me a king’s ransom—literally—but I’d shipped them back to the States, certain I couldn’t live without them.
I could still feel Godric’s eyes on me. If I looked up, I was certain he’d be there, watching from the shadows.
Jeremy’s breathing stayed shallow and even.
I opened a drawer and pulled out the wooden stake I’d owned since before I came to Seattle. Ten inches long, narrow, blood-red, tipped with a wicked point. It would destroy Godric. That is, if I could get close enough to drive it through his heart.
A very big if.
Though centuries old, it still looked brand new. It was made from ironwood, one of the hardest, most decay-resistant woods on earth.
Having it in my hand gave me zero comfort.
Jeremy, wake up.I pushed the thought through the bond, laced with desperation.I need you.
I couldn’t draw this out without making Godric suspicious.
If Jeremy didn’t wake up—