Page 58 of My Favorite Secret
“Ineedto fuck you, Harper. But I can’t do that until you work out your issues with Tyler.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
HARPER
Dozens of people are here in the Fergusons’ Fifth Avenue apartment, dressed in their finest black-tie attire, sipping champagne, and admiring Mom’s art collection while a pianist plays background music. I do find it beautiful that so many of my mother’s friends, family, and colleagues appreciate her talent, but the number of people who have approached me to offer their condolences is too overwhelming. The forced pleasantries are too much. The funeral was one week ago and I want to stop being reminded every five seconds that I’m without a mother.
Neither Felix nor Tyler have left me since we arrived here earlier in the afternoon. I’m appreciative of how in tune with me they are, redirecting conversation away from my mother and when people ask about ballet.
Unfortunately, Paul hasn’t left my side either.
“It’s a little loud in here,” he says to me. “Would you like to go somewhere less crowded to talk? Just us two?”
“Thank you but I’m rather emotional and would prefer to stay out here with everyone.”
“Of course. I understand.”
I turn to Felix and Tyler, both handsome in their suits. “Where have Dan and Killian gotten to?”
They were standing with us before. Even their father was. It means a lot to me that all the Blackwoods have shown up today.
Felix nods to the balcony, across the far side of the living room. By the looks of it, Killian and Dan are chatting up some girls.
Tyler places a hand on my back and leans in. “I should check up on them to make sure they’re not doing anything inappropriate.”
“Wait.” I’m quick to grab his hand, unsettled by the thought of him stepping away. “Um…”
He looks down at me with concern. “You okay, Princess?”
Don’t leave me. I want to say those words. I want to say so much more. Felix is with me and I know I’ll be fine, but I’m such an emotional wreck these days and have serious attachment issues. Each night, I can’t fall asleep unless Tyler and Felix are hugging me. They give me so much comfort. Yet it’s not enough. I want more from both of them.
I want the intimacy of sex.
Felix is right to say that we can’t have sex until I work out what I’m doing with Tyler. This secret between us is wrong. He says Tyler won’t shy away from my desires to have them both. He promises me I won’t ever lose Tyler.
Felix’s confidence doesn’t erase the fear within me, but I have to be honest with Tyler. If I’m not, the secrets I’m keeping will end up being the reason I lose him.
“Um…” My voice tremors as Tyler waits for me to speak, but no words will leave my lips.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he says quietly. “Do we need to leave?”
“No. I need to tell you something once you’re done checking on Dan and Killian.” I weave our fingers, trying to show him how I feel.
His gaze softens and he squeezes my hand. “I won’t be long.”
I take a shaky breath, hot and panicked. I’m in over my head. This is an art showing for my deceased mother. It’s not an appropriate time or place to tell Tyler how I feel.
Paul speaks up as soon as Tyler leaves. “Felix, I don’t mind if you want to take a walk around the apartment to view the art or mingle. I’ll keep Harper company.”
“I’ve seen all the art. Besides, Harper is the only person I want to mingle with at this event.”
Paul smiles, though I can see from the tightness around his eyes that it’s not a genuine gesture. He doesn’t like Felix and Tyler.
“So, the three of you are pretty close?” Paul asks me.
“Yes,” Felix answers. His hand lowers from my back, resting on my ass. A shiver runs through me at the intimate way he’s touching me in such a public space. Thank God we’re standing on the outskirts of the room and no one can see his hand placement. “Harper is like a little sister to me and Tyler. We’re very protective of her.”
My core flutters, hearing the smug tone in Felix’s answer. I smile at him, the two of us having a private conversation with our eyes, reliving all the times he’s had my body.
