Page 15 of My Favorite Secret
She’s acting differently too, barely able to hold eye contact with me without blushing and looking away. Our friendship has always been physical, with constant hand holding and hugging. Now, she squirms whenever I touch her. Last week, during her first day back from Italy, I could tell she felt awkward sitting with me on my bed, like sex was on her mind. On several occasions, I caught her looking at my lips.
Fuck. I’m going to do it. I’m going to ask her on a date again.
I’ve been waiting for the day when Harper would start to see me as more than a friend. I think that day is finally here.
She has this rule where she won’t date me until she’s twenty-five because she wants to prioritize her ballet career. But she was only sixteen when she created the rule. Maybe she’s changed her mind. The chastity part, definitelynot. But I won’t push for sex, even though I spend every second of the day thinking about her bouncing on my cock.
For someone so sweet, she turns my mind to complete filth. I want to be so fucking rough and dominant with her. I want Harper on her hands and knees, submitting to my every command. Each day, I jerk off to the thought of my pretty little ballerina being so desperate for my dick that she crawls to me, begging to be fucked raw in every hole.
But I want so much more than sex. Most of all, I want to worship Harper and tend to her every need. Shower her in luxuries. Give her everything she dreams of. Make her smile and laugh.Loveher.
I want Harper to let me love her so goddamn badly.
Harper, you’re all I’ll ever want,I write the words in a notepad as I lean back against the headboard of my bed. My heart races. I’m putting everything on the line, and I’ve never felt so nervous.I know ballet is your dream and priority. I won’t ever stand in the way of your goals. But you don’t need to wait till you’re twenty-five to find love. You can trust me to take care of your heart while you chase your dreams.
With a groan, I rip the page out and crumple it into a ball for the trash, unable to find the right words to share with Harper. Thirty minutes ago, I sat down to write my year’s goals for that school assignment Harper teased me over. Somehow it turned into a love letter.
Get accepted into Columbia.
Be with Harper—the only goal that truly matters.
She made me promise we’ll get married one day. We were sixteen at the time. It was a bit of childish fun, but I’ve never forgotten the promise. I think about it every day. I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life and I don’t want to wait till we’re twenty-five before I can askher to be mine.
Just thinking about her makes me smile. She’s beautiful, inside and out. I have friends at school but no one I connect with on the same level as Harper. We laugh together over the dumbest shit no one else would find funny. We can be together in silence and it feels comfortable. Her heart is so pure and she’s kind to everyone.
But what I love most about Harper is how much passion she’s filled with. Her face lights up whenever she talks about ballet. She’s ambitious and dedicated to the art form.
She wants to be dancing center stage with the New York City Ballet? I’ll be in the front row of every performance cheering her on.
She dreams about a happily ever after like her parents have? I’ll give her one.
I can be anything she needs me to be.
Harper, I’m so in love with you,I continue writing the letter.There’s no way I could ever break your heart?—
Someone knocks on my door, opening it immediately. No privacy in this household, apparently. I expect it to be one of my younger brothers and instead frown at the sight of my father. It’s early Monday evening. He’s rarely ever home at this time, which means something must be wrong.
“Dad. Is everything okay?—”
“Tyler, listen. I can’t talk for long.”
He’s never been an affectionate father. Always firm, though his tactics have appeared to work on only me. So, it’s no surprise that he doesn’t stop to ask how I’m settling into senior year.
“I’ve been speaking with Clara and Thomas. The three of us have come to an agreement that Felix will be living with them for the remainder of the school year?—”
“What? How?” I almost shout the words, I’m that shocked, and not at all pleased.
Now that my youngest brother Dan is fourteen, Dad has stopped hiring nannies. Me and my brothers basically live alone in this penthouse since Dad is rarely here. The four of us have a good thing happening, this past summer especially. With Felix running the place, it’s like a constant party house. Dan and Killian love it because he lets them bring girls back to their bedroom.
Living with my brothers is like living with friends. We work out together in the gym. We play pool in the entertainment room. Felix and I have even taken to teaching Dan and Killian how to play poker. There were a few parties Felix threw over the summer break that got completely out of control, to the point where I blacked out from drinking too much. My brother is the life of the house and if he leaves, it will ruin our flow.
The biggest issue of all—Harper and Felix living together.
Fuck.
Harper’s wellbeing is a genuine concern. But there’s something deeper within me that’s bitter and downright jealous.
Not toward Felix. I like the thought of him being there with Harper. I want them to become friends again. It feels…unfairthat I don’t get to live with them—the three of us, just like it used to be but…
