Page 97 of Fake Dating Daxton Hawk
“I’ll pass on the selfie.”
“Sorry, babe, not an option.” She jabs my ribs.
Mina gets a squeal out of me as I swat her hands away. In which time, the camera flashes.
“Perfect.” She shows me the photo. And wow, what a sight. I genuinely look like I’m having fun. “Okay, I’m going to take a quick shower and get dressed.”
Mina leaves me alone in her bedroom. I’m about to head out to the living room to see what Ryan’s up to but take a seat at Mina’s dressing table first, deciding I need the finishing touch of my favorite perfume.
Dozens of tiny perfume bottles, eyeshadow pallets, and skincare containers sit on Mina’s dressing table, making it difficult to find her Coco Mademoiselle. After a minute of scanning her collection and still not finding it, I open the first drawer, my breath catching in my throat when I find Daxton’s letter.
A back-and-forth battle takes place in my mind, contemplating whether to read it. A flashback of last night hits me, of Daxton’s pleading gaze. Without hesitating another second, I tear open the seal, finding his handwriting.
Jordan,
Have you ever found yourself mixed up in a lie you never wanted to be a part of? That’s what happened with you.
When I discovered who you were, I panicked and kept the truth to myself because I knew you hated the real me, Daxton. You were resistant to meeting Steel out of fear that we would ruin the intimacy we shared online. I was convinced if you knew who I was, it would be the end of us. I’d never see or hear from you again. I’d lose yet another meaningful relationship. You were the one good thing in my life and I let the fear of losing you overpower me.
My plan was to mend your impression of me to a point where I could share my identity without scaring you off. I cut all Secret Santa communication because I knew I couldn’t keep talking to you as Steel. We grew closer in the real world, and then I discovered how badly your parents had hurt you with lies. I knew then that my omission of the truth would be my downfall. I was selfish and kept trying to find the right way to be honest with you while also getting to keep you. Instead, I became more tangled in a web of lies and didn’t know how to get myself out of it.
In hindsight, I should have been honest from the start. I have so many regrets. So many things I would have done differently if I could go back.
I should have told you I was Steel as soon as I discovered who you were and trusted that even though you hated me as Daxton, we would have found a way forward.
I should never have let our relationship move beyond friendship while you didn’t know who I was.
I should never have made love to you while you didn’t know the truth, despite those being the best moments of my life.
Jordan, you have no idea how much I regret hurting you. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I thought I knew what heartbreak was when Felicity cheated on me but that doesn’t even compare to this. The feeling of Brad and Felicity’s betrayal was still fresh not so long ago and it kills me to know that I’ve inflicted a similar pain on you.
I understand all too well that you need time to process everything that has happened but please don’t make this the end of us. I will do anything it takes to earn back your trust.
My mom gave me the courage to finally be honest with you. She said if you love something, you set it free. If it returns, it will be yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be.
I know you and I are meant to be. How else do you explain us falling in love with each other online, unknowingly meeting that night at Club Noir, and being instantly drawn to each other?
I fucked up, Jordan. I fucked up so bad. I really hope you return to me because you’re it for me. You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Daxton.
Tears are trickling down my cheeks by the end of Daxton’s letter. I don’t know what the tears resemble. Every emotion inside me is muddled and I can’t think straight. But my heart thumps fast and the urge to feel Daxton’s arms around me is overwhelming. I can feel it within myself that this letter contains the truth. I’m still mad about the lie but the full force of my anger is fading.
“Dammit, babe, you’ve ruined your makeup.”
I look up from the letter, finding Mina in the doorway. Her attention shifts to the paper in my hands and she gasps.
“You read it. What did it say?”
I hold out the letter to her. “Read it yourself.”
Mina sits on her bed, taking a minute to read the letter. I join her, crossing my legs on the mattress.
“What do you think?” I ask.
She rubs a hand over her jaw and returns the letter to me once she’s finished reading. “Don’t hate me for saying this but I kind of understand where Daxton is coming from.”
I nod, wiping my eyes. “I feel the same way. I… I love him. But I can’t take him back. Right? I mean, what would that say about me? I’m a pushover. What if he lies about something else?”
