Page 81 of Fake Dating Daxton Hawk
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he whispers, brushing a thumb over my cheek.
“I don’t know.” It’s the truth. I’ve never felt like this over a guy before—so utterly consumed with him, heart and soul, yet…sad. “I’m… scared.”
“Of what?”
“I can’t explain it properly. There’s just… this feeling inside me, like I’m going to lose you.”
He sighs, bringing my head to his chest and hugging me.
After taking a steadying breath, a sense of clarity over these feelings finds me. “I’ve been waiting for you to show me what’s in here.” My hand presses softly to Daxton’s heart as a tear escapes down my cheek. “I want to know you. All of you. There’s tension between you and your family and it’s clear you can’t be open with me about it. Maybe I’m being unfair to you. Maybe I’m only acting this way because my parents messed me up so fucking much, but I have to wonder…” I release myself from the hug to meet Daxton’s eyes. “What happens the next time we face a similar situation? Are there other things I don’t know about you that you won’t share?”
Daxton blows out a tired breath of air and places both hands either side of me on the table, his head hanging between his shoulders.
I weave my fingers through his hair and kiss his head, hating this divide between us. “I’m sorry for mentioning it.”
“Don’t be sorry, Jordan. I understand,” he says from down at my chest. “You’re not being unreasonable. You want to know the man you’re with. I want to tell you everything. Iwilltell you everything, but we need to discuss this properly back in New York.”
“Why does the location of this conversation matter?”
Daxton stands tall, leaving an emptiness within me when he steps back, breaking contact with my body. “Because I’m not proud of what I have to tell you. You won’t like hearing the truth and I can guarantee you’ll want space from me. Space you deserve but won’t find while confined at this wedding with me.”
A flash of outlandish scenarios enters my mind of what Daxton could feel so ashamed of. What he thinks would drive me away from him. But what it comes down to is I know Daxton is a good person and his past actions would have been explainable. And if not justifiable, I’m sure he would have learned from his mistakes.
“Whatever happened, Daxton… You have to know nothing will change the way I feel about you.”
He wipes a stray tear from my cheek. “We’ll see about that.”
ChapterForty-One
Daxton
I know Jordan’s smile, and the one she’s wearing right now as we wait for the wedding ceremony to begin—the smile she wore all last night after our conversation at the pergola—is the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.
All guests stand as Felicity arrives at the aisle. I may not be the biggest supporter of Brad and Felicity, but there’s no denying the ceremony is beautiful, rustic in theme and held beneath an arbor in the heart of the vineyard on a sunny morning. My mother reads out a poem she’s written. The vows are touching. I follow through on my word to Brad—when the celebrant pronounces him and Felicity a married couple, I stand and clap for their happiness and offer my congratulations. The reception is just as nice, held at the restaurant. My younger cousins want to be chased around the venue and I do so to keep up pretenses. But all I can think about throughout the day is that Jordan is slipping through my fingers.
As mid-afternoon arrives, all guests stand face to face in a long line, forming an arch with our arms for Brad and Felicity to run through as we farewell them for their honeymoon. While they climb into a car and everyone waves them goodbye, I draw Jordan back to our seats in the restaurant, wanting to talk to her, but have no words. Everything between us is just… stale.
The wedding band resumes playing and guests return to the dance floor, the party continuing.
Mom pulls up a chair next at the table with us, an aura of contentment surrounding her. “What a beautiful wedding. You don’t know what it means to me to see both my sons so happy.” The statement ridicules me, deepening the guilt in my chest. “I’m so thankful everything has worked out all right in the end.”
The end…
A reminder that my mother’s time is limited and I still don’t know anything about her condition or the treatment she’s receiving. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk about her health, but I need some kind of closure. I can’t sit back and twiddle my thumbs, pretending she’s not dying.
“Mom…”
She looks at me, her eyebrows raised in an unimpressed manner, foreseeing what I want to discuss.
“Hey, Dax!” Amabella’s voice comes from behind me. I turn, finding her and Josh arriving by our side. “A few of us are taking a tour of the vineyard. Do you and Jordan want to join us?”
Mom claps her hands, eager to get rid of me and my looming questions. “That sounds like a fantastic idea. Off you go. I’ll enjoy a glass of wine while listening to the music.”
Jordan glances between my mother and me. “I’ll come along. Daxton, you should keep your mom company.” She rises from the chair but I grab her waist, pulling her onto my lap before she can get far.
“Jordan…” I whisper, hating the disconnect between us. “I’m sorry about… everything.”
She smiles softly at me, and I’m put at ease when I see in her eyes that this smile is genuine. “We’re okay. There are more important issues right now, like your mom. You haven’t spent any alone time with her this weekend. Take this opportunity. I’ll be back soon.”
