Page 96 of Fake Dating Daxton Hawk
I push vegetables around on my plate with my fork. “Yeah… The Feather Tease is what dreams are made of for a burlesque dancer.”
“You don’t sound excited,” Mina says.
“I am. It’s just that… I don’t want to get too excited and then be heartbroken if the job falls through. It’s happened many times before.”
“Stop. You need to have faith, babe. This time is going to be different. A positive mind attracts positive energy. Don’t let past failures and the crap that’s happened with Daxton ruin your time to shine.”
“You’re right. I’m trying.”
Ryan pours himself a glass of kombucha. “Agreed. The Feather Tease will be your lucky break.”
“I really hope so. Um… something else happened today that’s worth mentioning. I texted Mom and Dad.”
Ryan and Mina drop their cutlery with a startled gasp. “You did?” my brother asks.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said—how you think they’re getting real help this time. I want to believe it but I’m not going to until I see the results. Anyway, I sent them a message saying I heard you spoke to them, and I hope they’re doing well. I know it’s not much but… it’s all I can offer right now. They said they were glad to hear from me.”
“You did good,” Ryan says.
“Super good,” Mina adds. “It’s more than they deserve. So, back to the sex with Daxton topic. What’s happening between you two?”
“I don’t know.” I mindlessly push food around on my plate. “The sex last night was a mistake. A spur of the moment thing which I need to wipe from my mind. At one point today, I caught myself feeling glad that Daxton and Steel are the same person because I’ve been through so much with both of them. I was trying to rationalize how taking Daxton back will mean having Steel too. There’s some twisted part of me whichlikesthat Daxton is Steel. I can’t be feeling like that.”
“Why not?” Ryan asks. “You clearly love the guy and he iscrazyabout you. Maybe he deserves a second chance.”
“Babe, listen,” Mina says. “You’re allowed to feel confused over Daxton. You’re allowed to want him back. You’re allowed to even take him back. There are no rules here.”
“I know. It’s just…” I groan and hang my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the dining table. “It’s too soon. I’m still upset with him.”
“Jordan wants to make him grovel,” Ryan says right before shooting back his last mouthful of kombucha.
“I do not.” My words muffle against my hands.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with groveling. Daxton deserves to grovel.”
Mina sighs. “Was it at least good sex?”
I peek through my fingers at her. “The best I’ve ever had. It was like I was having sex with Daxton and Steel at the same time. There were so many emotions involved.”
She watches me for a good few seconds and I can’t tell whether she’s silently judging or pitying me. A moment later, Mina wipes her lips with a napkin and stands from the table. “That’s it, we’re going out tonight to find you a new man.”
“No way.” I drop my hands, planting myself firmly in the chair. “I’ve had enough of men. I can’t deal with any more of their emotional crap.”
“Who said anything about getting emotional? Have fun with a few guys. Flirt a little. Sleep around. Ryan, are you coming with us?”
“I’ll sit this one out,” he says. “Have a girls’ night.”
A voice in my head warns me off Mina’s idea, telling me Daxton is the only guy I want to flirt with. I can’t even fathom the idea of sleeping with another man. Daxton told me I’m the one for him, and I know there’s no other guy I’ll ever love as much.
But that’s what scares me. My heart wants to forgive him. Being in his arms again last night, having him look at me like I’m his entire world… it was a warm place I never wanted to leave. But… his lies still hurt and I can’t get past the mistrust. What if he hurts me again? My head tells me to not cave in and that I can’t take him back after what he did to me. I’ve made the mistake of forgiveness too many times before.
“You know what?” I stand from my chair. “I’ve changed my mind. I think weshouldgo out tonight. It will be a good distraction.”
* * *
An hour later, I’m standing in front of the floor-length mirror in Mina and Zac’s bedroom, looking at myself all done up and nothing like my usual appearance. Mina straightened my hair instead of the curls I always wear. She made me change into a pink dress of hers, pink heels, and has applied pink lipstick. It’s giving Barbie vibes and is not at all in my comfort zone, but whatever. Tonight is about having fun.
Mina holds up her phone in front of us. “Pose for a selfie.”
