Page 18 of Off Limits
Her flushed skin glistened with a sheen of sweat. A smile softened her lips. Her blonde hair lay tousled over her shoulders. Her breasts pushed over her pulled down sports bra and her yoga pants clung to mid-thighs. She looked like a Playboy centerfold. How could he ever let her go to be with anyone else? It would break him into a million pieces.
He shook his head. “I didn’t use a condom.”
Her eyes widened and she glanced down at his semi erection covered in her juices and bare as the day he was born. She lifted her gaze to his.
“I’m sorry,” he grunted. Could he fuck this up any more than he already had?
“I’m on the pill.” Her words came out with confidence.
The tightness in his chest eased a little. That was something. Explaining to Rex that Jane was pregnant with his baby would have been more than awkward since he’d promised to stay clear of her.
“I’m clean.” He needed to say it. He didn’t want her to worry that he carried some sort of disease from his revolving door of women.
“I can’t imagine you’d ever have sex with me, condom or not, if you weren’t.” She offered him a small smile.
Her faith in him always knocked the wind out of him. The way she trusted him—it wrecked him. Tears burned at the back of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He turned his face away, jaw clenched tight.
So few people had ever shown him the type of kindness Jane offered so freely. His circle was small—Rex, Taylor, Jane. Their families, maybe. Everyone else? They could go to hell.
But he didn’t belong in that circle. He wasn’t good. He wasn’t safe. He’d only end up hurting her. It was in his blood, wired into his DNA like a curse he couldn’t shake. No amount of love could unmake a man like him.
“I’m sorry.” He tucked himself in his boxer briefs and zipped up his pants. He’d never had sex without a condom. His seed had never been inside of a woman. It was intentional. He’d make a lousy dad. All one had to do was look at the example set by his own father—the drunken abusive asshole—who used him as a punching bag when life hadn’t gone his way. Love? He didn’t know what that looked like, what it really was. He wasn’t empathetic. He was selfish, usually. He took what he wanted.
“Hey.” She touched his cheek. Her soft fingers danced over his stubbled jaw.
He glanced down. His release slid slowly down the inside of her thigh. A guttural sound caught in his throat—he bit it back, barely. The sight of it shouldn’t have turned him on. But it did. Something primal twisted inside him. He had the urge to drag his finger through it—push it back inside her—like he belonged there. Like he belonged to her. He swallowed hard, but his throat was tight, the weight of desire and consequence tangled.
“Hey. Look at me.”
He met her gaze, her green eyes sparkling. His heart thudded. His chest tightened. He struggled to take a breath.What the fuck?
“Brady?” She pulled her pants up and adjusted her bra. “Are you okay?”
He couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pull in any air. He wheezed.
She grabbed his arms and backed him up until a bench hit the back of his knees. “Sit.”
He crouched onto the bench and lowered his head between his knees. A panic attack. Never in his life had he had one. He didn’t panic. He was calm, cool and collected. If he kept his emotions out of things, if he didn’t feel anything, nothing could faze him. But he did fucking feel something for her, with her. He practically combusted from the feelings.
She sat next to him on the bench, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, baby. Deep breaths.” Her soothing voice and touch allowed him to bring some air into his lungs.
When he finally caught his breath, he lifted his head and looked at her. She was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on. Had been since the day he’d met her.
“Brady, everything will be okay.”
“I wish I believed that.” He closed his eyes.
“Nothing bad is going to happen here.”
“We just had sex without protection.” He scoffed. “Your brother will kill me.”
“First, he doesn’t have to know about that.” She touched his forearm, rubbing her thumb over his skin. “Second, he won’t kill you.”
He shook his head. “You know one time he caught me gawking at you. You were nineteen—home from college for the summer. You were sprawled out on a lounger by your parents’ pool. You had on this hot pink bikini, tied in the back. I remember it clear as day. I stood at the sliding glass door in your living room just staring. You were so fucking beautiful. So alive. Carefree. Laughing at something one of your friends had said. I can remember it like it was yesterday because it was the first time I looked at you and thought—mine.”
Her cheeks pinkened at his declaration.
“Rex came up behind me and realized I was staring at you. He told me I was to stay the fuck away from you and wipe the lusty look off my face. He said he’d kill me if I looked at you like that again.” He cleared his throat. “You were completely, irrefutably off limits.”
