Page 38 of Let Me Love You
“Who is he?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She sighed.
“It matters to me.” His tone begged her to answer him.
“He’s a co-worker. An English professor at the community college.” She lowered her head, unable to look him in the eyes. “Ren,wewon’t work.”
“You haven’t even given us a try. What does the English prof have that I don’t?” He jerked his head in the direction of the bar where she was sure Todd sat wondering what the hell was happening.
“It has nothing to do with Todd.”
“Todd.” He mocked. “I’m half-tempted and drunk enough to go back in there and beat the shit out of him.” He closed the small space between them, his hips pinning her to the wall. She bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning, the feel of his hardness against her more than she could take. Desire ratcheted up another level, leaving her panties damp from the feel of him.
“You wouldn’t.” Her eyes widened with surprise at his threat. He drew his brows down and glared at her.
“Don’t be too sure. If he touches you again, I may.” He inhaled deeply, releasing the breath slowly as if the idea of another man touching her pushed him over the edge of sanity and this was all he could do to calm himself.
“You and I aren’t dating. You can’t go bullying everyone I hang out with.” She pushed his chest a little, wanting to create some space between them. His salt water and suntan lotion scent washed over her, making her dizzy, and stirred things in her that made her irrational. Made her think of those moments they were skin to skin, touching and tasting each other. There was no sanity in those moments.
“If I can’t touch you, if I can’t be with you, then neither can he or anyone else.” His lips pulled tight. His calmness once again slipped.
“Do you realize how childish that sounds?”
“I don’t care. Maybe it is childish, but I can’t stand the thought of anyone else holding your hand.” His voice cracked and he covered her hand on his chest with his own. He blew out a harsh breath. “Do you feel that? That’s my heart beating for you. I miss you. I’m in love with you. So. Fucking. In love with you.” His eyes softened as he admitted his feelings. The frustration and anger that had surrounded him moments before melted. “I love you.”
“Ren.” She cupped his face. His admission rocked her. This wasn’t some kid with an older woman fantasy. This was a man. A man who loved her.
Before she could speak another word, he slammed his mouth against hers. The kiss wasn’t gentle or sensual. Instead it was rough, animalistic, desperate. Exactly like she expected after three weeks. He tasted like beer and whiskey, the combination almost made her drunk. He grasped the back of her neck, holding her close as he plundered. His tongue penetrated her mouth, licking into her with so much longing that her knees went weak.
He was the best damn kisser. He knew how deep to take a kiss. Exactly how far he could push her before she could do nothing but submit to him. He owned every part of her.
Her traitorous body hummed with desire. Heat coursed, settling low in her belly, aching for him. If he made a move, if he tried to touch her in any sensual manner, she would not have it in her to stop him.
Thoughts swarmed her head. Would this warm and gooey feeling always surface around him? Would she crave his kisses forever? His touch? Would anyone else ever spark these feelings in her?
He stepped back, breaking their connection. Emotions flitted across his features. He squeezed his eyes shut. His breath punctuated the air around them in quick bursts. If he didn’t slow down his breathing, he’d hyperventilate. He covered his face with both hands and inhaled deeply, holding the breath. When he exhaled, he dropped his hands at his sides and stared at her with clarity.
“You’re not ready for me? I’ll continue to give you time. I’ll give you whatever you need. Go out on some dates. See what’s out there. It may be hard, damn near impossible for me to watch, but I understand why. I promise to swallow my jealousy and let you see that no one is going to make you feel the way I do. No one will love you like I do.”
“I don’t know what to say.” She stared up at him breathless after that kiss, after his words. “I know what you want me to say, but I can’t. We’d never make it. I want a companion. Kids, a family. I don’t have time to wait for you to figure out what you want in life. But you deserve that time. I’m not going to strip you of that like it was done to me.”
“We want the same things, baby. I’d ask you to marry me right now if I knew you’d say yes.” He slipped a finger under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t imagine anyone other than you being the mother of my children.”
She gasped. She believed he wanted a relationship with her, but didn’t imagine he’d want to give her all the things she’d desperately craved. At least not yet.
“Yes, baby. I want to be your husband. I want that title, that role more than anything. I want to share my life with you, take care of you, love you. I want a family. With you.” He pushed on the tip of her nose with his finger. “Will everything be a piece of cake? No. But I don’t want easy. I want you.”
She puffed out a breath. What could she say? This gorgeous man offered himself to her and yet she didn’t know if she could accept him. She couldn’t take it if her heart broke again. And Ren could destroy her. She already knew that.
“All those crazy thoughts running through your pretty head right now,” he said, and touched her temple, “like why you think this won’t work or that I may someday find a younger woman to draw my attention away won’t change the way we feel, the way I feel.” He kissed her forehead and the tip of her nose. “You’re mine, Stace. I won’t give up.” He pressed his lips gently against hers. “Let me love you.”
He pushed back from the wall, chilling the air around her with his vacancy, then turned and walked back into Mahuffer’s.
Deep breath. Deep breath.She repeated several times until her breathing was under control and she could think semi-straight.
He wreaked havoc on her. No matter how many times she thought she had the situation under control, the minute she saw him, the minute he started telling her all the glorious things she wanted to hear, she crumbled. Her heart banged out a rhythm in her chest, telling her this was more than a physical attraction. Damn it. She was in love with him.
Ack!She shoved off the wall and walked back in to the bar. She glanced around, but it appeared as if Ren and his friends had left. He gave her the space she requested. Every time she thought he was exactly what she didn’t need, he did something to make her question that. Every time she thought him too young to give her what she needed, he proved to be more a man than her forty-year-old ex.
