Page 23 of Let Me Love You
“Okay, okay. Maybe that was going a little overboard. But I’m being serious. You have an opportunity to have a little fun. A chance to try something new. You were tied to Randy for the better part of your twenties. And he shattered you. Don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
“Of course, I deserve to be happy. But I don’t think I can take falling head over heels for Ren and have him leave me. My heart can’t survive another break like that.”
“So, in other words, you want to fall head over heels with a sixty-year-old, who is likely to think of you as young as he can get? There’s always that chance, that risk in love that it won’t be forever. But what kind of life will you have if you never take that chance again?” Jennifer shook her head and pushed back from the table. Gathering her plate and utensils, she brought them to the sink and started rinsing them. “Randy didn’t leave you because you were boring or unattractive or an inattentive wife. He’s just a self-centered asshole.”
Jen’s words resonated with her. A part of her blamed herself for Randy’s affair, and that was stupid. But despite that, she still felt she wouldn’t be able to hold the attention of someone like Ren.
“It’s complicated. Ren isn’t just some guy I met at a bar or the local supermarket. I’ve known him since he was thirteen. I’ve watched him grow up. I’m friends with his parents. The ramifications from this situation could be huge.” She pushed back from the table and brought her plate over to the sink. Jen grabbed the dish and rinsed it before placing the plate in the dishwasher.
“I realize it’s complicated. I do. If this was you at twenty-five and he was seventeen, I’d be appalled by this situation. But he’s an adult. A twenty-three-year-old man. You weren’t seeking this out. He came to you. I’ve watched you isolate yourself for the last several months and I’ll be honest, it scared me a little. Now, I see this revived look on your face…almost like you’re alive again and I want to drive up to Madeira Beach and hug Ren for giving that back to you.”
Stacey poured another steaming mug of coffee, and inhaled the hazelnut aroma.
Her sister argued good points. She needed to hear the reasons she should consider giving Ren what he wanted so she could decide based on what was best for them both. And having the reasons pointed out by someone other than Ren helped. Having Jay and Shannon pissed at her concerned her greatly, as did the age gap between her and Ren and his reputation with women, but could she be making a mistake by not fully considering everything?
“I see I gave you something to think about.” Jen put her arm around her. “I’m not saying you have to do anything. But I don’t want you to disregard the idea of seeing where it goes with him because you are afraid of hurting other people’s feelings or that guys are the same and he would do to you what Randy did. There is nothing wrong with dating someone you’re attracted to and enjoy being around. He’s old enough to make his own decisions and live with them. Don’t let your fear of other people’s opinions dictate how you make decisions in your life.” Jen squeezed her before heading out of the kitchen. “Now let’s get our asses to the beach before those teeny-boppers steal the good spots near the lifeguard stand. There’s a hot new lifeguard working Sundays.”
Stacey laughed.
****
After several hours at the beach, Stacey tingled in all the places the sun had kissed her skin. Standing in front of the full-length mirror in her sister’s guest bedroom, she removed her black and white bikini, revealing tan lines. The triple application of sunscreen kept her from burning, but hadn’t prevented her from getting some sun.
Jen had kept her busy with conversation. They’d discussed Jen’s new role as one of the directors of the graphic design department at Ringling College of Art and Design and the few teachers who were not overly excited about her swift promotion. Jen confided in her about a crush she had on one of the lead actors at the Asolo theatre. Even though they spoke every week, there never seemed to be a shortage of things to talk about. Their discussions at the beach gave Stacey little time to ponder her own situation and the breakfast conversation she’d had with her sister.
A run might help her sort things out. It usually did. Slipping on a pair of black running shorts, a sports bra, and gray tank, she sat on the edge of the bed, sliding on socks and tying her Asics. Yoga and running kept her fit. Yoga kept her limber while running kept her sane. A good run cleared her head. Exactly what she needed right now.
“I’m heading out for my run.” Stacey walked through the living room where Jen perched at her desk typing out something on the computer.
“How the hell do you run?” Jen wore nothing but her cobalt blue bikini. “Especially after a day at the beach. I’m pooped. I only want to pour a glass of wine and curl up on the couch with a good movie.”
“We can do that after I return. You’ll understand when you pass thirty.” Stacey chuckled. “Those daiquiris and nachos don’t just fall off anymore.”
“Run along, old lady.” Jen rolled her eyes. “I’ll be vegging out by the time you get back. I’m ordering pizza for us tonight. You’ll have to run ten miles tomorrow to get the pizza to fall off.” Jen snorted with her laugh, and Stacey waved her middle finger at her as she laughed. “I assume you’re staying, right?”
“I’m staying until you throw me out.”
“If it will force you to return to that hot stud, I’ll kick you out right now.”
“Cute, Jennifer.” She wagged a finger at her sister. “I’ll see you in thirty.”
Fixing her iPhone in its band on her upper arm, Stacey pressed play on her running playlist and waved to her sister as she bolted out the front door. Jogging south toward downtown Sarasota, she hit her stride once she reached Main Street. Imagine Dragons’Whatever It Takesblared in her ears as she passed Two Senoritas and the Selva Grill. Heading in the direction of the Marina Jack Trail, her breath eased as her body warmed to the pace.
She loved this run. Did it every time she visited her sister. Running along a waterfront had an uncanny way of making one appreciate life, even if it didn’t consist of cruising on one of the many yachts parked at the marina.
Reaching the water fountain with the jumping dolphins statue at the end of the peninsula, she stopped to take in the beauty and catch her breath.
Condominium buildings of various shapes and sizes lined the skyline. The John Ringling Causeway stretched from the mainland to Lido Key as the sun began its slow descent. The view took her breath away and she wondered if Ren would agree.
She was in a bit deeper than she imagined. His face. Voice. Smile. Body. His laugh. He kept popping into her mind and taking up space. Perhaps it was more than sex for her, too.
Her phone buzzed on her arm. A new text. She pulled the phone out of its arm band in case the text came from her sister asking her to pick something up on her run back, but it wasn’t.
Ren:I can’t stop thinking about u!
Her heart fluttered. Her breath faltered. He was thinking of her. A sweet gesture, romantic even. And here she packed her bags and ran away without any explanation. Was she being unfair? She tapped out a response.
Stacey:Thank u.?
