Page 76 of Leading Conviction
“Listen, dove.” He finally leaned forward and grabbed her hand. The warmth of his calloused palm holding hers made her temper settle a little. When he tugged her hand so that her chair rolled even closer, she didn’t resist.
“My team and I have been through a lot,” he murmured. “I used to be all about the cause, duty, and doing what was required of me. Nine years ago, I was all about you until I realized my selfishness would only keep you in harm’s way.
“But now that there’s a chance to have you again, I don’t want to lose you. I’ve been empty without you, Han. Life has been eat, sleep, breathe the mission, but I want to eat your delicious home-cooked meals while I drink your orange blossom sweet tea. I want to sleep with you in my arms, and I want to be able to breathe deeply so I can smell your sugary citrus scent on my pillow.That’swhat I want in my life. It’s what I’ve always wanted, and if we can live in a world that’s safe enough for me to have it, that’s what I’m going to strive for.”
Hannah’s heart twisted, and she left her seat to straddle him in his chair. “Butmi cielo,thisis the time we can make sure that kind of safety exists.” Her eyes followed his worry lines across his forehead as she spoke. “If you don’t go with your team, that’s one less person they’ll have watching their backs. What if they go and fail? Then we’ll be back at worse than square one. Not only that, but you could lose yet another person in your family while you’re sipping sweet tea beside me. You said it yourself, you messed up when you left me. Don’t mess up and leave them when they need you too.”
He pursed his lips, prompting her to trace them the way she used to during their pillow talks before bed years ago.
“I want you too, Hawk. But I wantyou. The woman I used to be wanted the man who’d burn down the world for her, but you’ve never been that man—” He opened his mouth to argue, but the finger she’d been trailing over his lips covered them instead. “You’ve never been that man… and I don’t want that man anymore.
“I want the man who plays catch with a kid he barely knows, but loves all the same. A man who puts his friends’ welfare before his own. Why would I want the world to go up in flames when I can watch love burn bright instead?Mi cielo, I don’t want the villain who destroys the world for me, I want the hero who saves it so we canlivein it, happily ever after.”
His frown finally lifted at the edges, but worry and concern still wrinkled his brow.
“What if something bad happens and I’m not here?” he asked, his deep voice hoarse with emotion. “We’re not one-hundred-percent sure whoever they were taking out of that van was the General. What if he’s still out there?”
She shrugged. “Odds are, that was the General and you know it, Hawkins. I get that you’re scared for Tommy and me, but I’m stronger than I was. These past two years have been hell, but running away from my father while he stalked and taunted me made me a fighter. I’ve learned a lot and I can handle what’s thrown at me. Not to mention the fact that since Callie offered to stay, I’ll have an FBI agent guarding me. Nora will probably be here too, right? She seems like she can handle her own.”
Hannah tried to smile but Hawk’s watchful eyes made her squirm. When he finally opened his mouth, she wasn’t surprised by his question.
“Can you tell me what your father did to you, Hannah?”
She inhaled deeply and exhaled a fortifying breath before she nodded.
“When I was younger… I didn’t realize the way my father treated me was… wrong. And when I wanted to tell my mother…” She swallowed back bile. Her father had murdered her own mother, but she didn’t have time to fully process that yet. She’d have to grieve later because his team needed himnow. “When I wanted to tell her, he warned me that I could be taken away from them if I ever told.”
“Did he…” Hawk swallowed. “Did he…”
Hannah winced. “Honestly, the memories I have are very fuzzy. Like my mind is protecting me from my past. The things I do remember are wrong enough, but I don’t recall anything more than, um… touches. But I’ve always had a deep-seated feeling there was more. When I saw the headboard—”
A flash of a memory she desperately wanted to pretend was a nightmare blinked across her mind and she shook it away. Hawk squeezed her closer, and she breathed in his pine, leather, and spring morning scent that had always reminded her of happiness.
“Anyway… with what he’s capable of, it’s easier to just go with what my mindknowsrather than torturing myself with hazy images. Putting those together might create the puzzle that breaks me, and it’s not one I need to see to live my life.”
Hawk nodded, outwardly calm, but his rage radiated from within. As much as he tried to portray himself as unshakable in front of others, Hannah had always been able to sense his emotions vibrating through him when he embraced her.
“Everything you’re feeling right now, I’ve felt toward him, too. But I was always too afraid to do anything about it. Nowyoucan. I don’t want your fear for me to get in the way. When you get back from saving the world, I’ll be right here, ready to livethat happily ever after we deserve. The one youfoughtfor. Okay? No matter what, I’ll be here waiting for you.”
Hawk’s eyes searched hers. Before she could stop herself, she lightly pressed her lips against his. He went stone still, as if she’d caught him off guard, but only half a second into the kiss, his hard muscles softened underneath her.
His hand delved into her hair while his other arm wrapped tightly around her waist. He kissed her fiercely, the way she craved, with all the adoration and passion he had burning inside him. When his tongue sought refuge in her mouth, she opened freely and let him in, loving the way he tasted. Her nails scratched the short waves in his fade as she rolled on top of his thickening length.
There was a finality to the kiss, and whether that was because it would actually be their last or it was the end of this horrible chapter of being apart, she didn’t know, but she hoped to hell that it was the latter.
When the kiss settled to something sweeter and softer, she pulled away and found his gaze again.
“It’s time for you to save the world,mi héroe.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
The fact that the General’s vacation home and the CTI facility were disturbingly close to Ashland County made Hawk itchy in his blackout gear. They could’ve driven it, but they’d been able to take the MH-6 “Little Bird”—the helicopter his team hadliberatedfrom the United States government. The shorter trip made the General’s reach seem even more omnipotent.
Not that international reach isn’t enough, Hawk almost snorted at the thought before resolving to clear his head.
He needed to be on hisAgame. Soon, Phoenix would land them far enough away so their enemies in the warehouse couldn’t hear them, but close enough that the team could roll out as quickly as possible.
They’d all been trained by various branches of the military, and their stint in MF7 had only honed their abilities. But being in the private sector was a dream compared to any military service they’d had, so Hawk hoped their muscle memory would kick in to make up for anything they’d forgotten.
