Page 62 of Leading Conviction
“And we were already gone,” the words whispered out on a sigh.
She nodded and blew out a breath. Hawk massaged her shoulder as she continued, “I tried so hard to forget about that night entirely that when I first found out I was late, it didn’t even occur to me that my baby could be anyone’s other than yours. The thought that he could be Eagle’s only came later. Then this precious little blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy came out confirming it.” She huffed a laugh with a slight shake of her head. “There was no way to get in touch with either of you, so I just hoped one day I’d see you again, and hopefully when either of you saw him, you’d love him as much as I do.”
“I do,” Hawk answered immediately, not a question in his mind. “I didn’t realize that was a thing. But as soon as I saw my best friend looking back at me, I fell in love with the kid. Eagle would have, too,” he assured her.
A small smile crept across her lips but when she met his gaze again, sadness overwhelmed her features. “I’m sorry you lost Thomas… Eagle. Can I… Can I ask howthathappened?”
Her mirroring his words hit him harder than it should have, but he cleared his throat and nodded.
“We were on what was supposed to be our last mission of that tour. It was in Yemen. We all thought we were finally going home afterward, but something went wrong. Eagle, Jaybird—Jason—and I infiltrated the enemy compound to disarm the big trafficker in the area. But he somehow already knew we were there. He had, uh… a”—Hawk swallowed and motioned over his chest as he tried to find the words inside the memory—“bomb strapped to his chest.”
“Dios mio,” she whispered.
Hawk shook his head. “I’ve seen a lot of things, but I’ve never seen evil and crazy mixed up so well in one expression. That’s what stared back at us right before he blew the place up. Eagle, Jaybird, and I barely got out of there, but when we did, everything outside had gone haywire.”
“Haywire?” Hannah asked in a whisper.
“We’d trained some locals to be on our side and to help them combat any future threats they might have after we left, but I guess they were playing us the whole time. Suddenly, we hadfriendlyfire coming from all sides.”
“No,” Hannah breathed, her hand drifting up to cover her mouth.
“One of the local soldiers got a bead on Jaybird and I saw them aim. Eagle and I were able to get to him in time, but Jaybird still got grazed in the head. We made our way back to the helo, but Eagle got hit in the thigh on the way.”
Hannah stilled, apparently realizing this was the part of the story where shit got real. Her eyes were already rimmed with tears and Hawk looped his arm around her shoulder to pull her in for a hug. His back was to the sunrise so he focused on the fading blue sky in front of him as he continued.
“I sprinted back to Eagle to carry him into the helicopter. There were guys everywhere, but one had a good bead on me and fired. I thought I was done for, but Eagle pushed me out of the way. He took the bullets instead of me. He saved me.”
Hawk rested his chin on Hannah’s head and stroked her cheek as she sniffled underneath him. A warm tear spilled over his thumb and he swiped it away as he spoke about carrying Eagle to the helicopter, fighting to keep him alive, but ultimately losing the battle.
He told her everything. Every shitty detail of getting him back. Everything she needed to know.
But what he kept to himself was the fact they now knew from her own father that Eagle betrayed them… for her and Tommy. And what she also didn’t need to know was that Hawk might’ve done the same fucking thing.
When he was finished, her tears flowed freely and a lump of emotion kept him from saying anything more. Instead, he let her cry against his chest. No matter what had happened between them, their best friend was gone. The man who had sacrificed his team for her, and sacrificed his life for him.
While Hannah cried in his embrace, an overwhelming sense of purpose filled him.
Eagle had died for the three of them. The best way to honor his memory was to keep Hannah and Tommy out of harm’s way. Hawk already knew he’d protect them with his life, but it dawned on him for the first time that he would do literally whatever it took to keep them safe. A decade ago, he’d sacrificed his own happiness to save her. Now he’d sacrifice everything.
The BlackStone team was going after the General any day now. The man who had stolen his best friend and his relationship with the woman he loved. But if going after the General meant losing Hannah in the process…
Hawk had a lot of fucking thinking to do. There was no way he could leave her again. No way he could repeat the past.
When she’d finished crying, she straightened and withdrew herself from his embrace. Before he could say anything else, her lips found his.
Surprise filled his chest, and he brought her flush to his body. He threaded his hand through her thick, wavy hair, loosening her braid, and squeezed her ass through her soft sleep shorts with his other hand. His cock thickened in his jeans as her plush lips melded to his and her tongue delved into his mouth. But the tears he tasted made him pause.
“Han, you’re upset.”
“Not so upset that I don’t know what I’m doing, Hawk,” she whispered against his lips. “I want this.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, wanting like hell for her to say—
“Yes.”
He put all of his emotions into their kiss, holding her close as his cock grew hard underneath her wandering hands. But despite the fact she said she wanted him, and the way she tugged at his zipper obviously showed she meant it, he couldn’t take advantage of her emotional state. He wanted to earn back her trust, and having sex with her when she was upset would be no better than what Eagle had done to her all those years ago. And as much as he loved his best friend, Hawk knew he was better than that.
With a smile curving his lips, he repeated her words from the night before.
