Page 46 of Leading Conviction
“Hawk slept outside your door last night. The guy apparently refused to sleep on the couch or in one of the spare rooms. It’s sweet, if you think about it, although I’m sure the guy’s neck is killin’ him. Falling asleep upright against these steel walls can’t be comfortable.”
“He slept outside mydoor?” Hannah couldn’t hide the incredulity in her voice, but Naomi just nodded with a knowing smile.
“Some of these guys still have some growin’ up to do, but not him. You’ve got a good one lookin’ after you now. You don’t have to just rely on yourself anymore. As a mom, I know how good that sense of security feels, so soak it in. You deserve it.”
Those simple words were like a weight lifted off her shoulders. As Naomi continued, the conversation began to wash away the stress from the years of running.
“And this might be brutally honest,” Naomi continued. “But in my opinion, it’s not your responsibility to save anyone. In this life, you have to save yourself and not every situation makes reportin’ better.” Naomi squeezed Hannah’s arm and her gaze settled on her with purpose. “Your father’s sins aren’t yours, and you don’t have to atone for them.”
“Thank you,” Hannah replied with a nod as her chest loosened. “But what we did down there, it helped me. Now that Tommy and I are safe, I’ll do whatever I can to stop my father.”
Naomi lifted her finger from the elevator button, allowing the doors to open. “Believe me, honey. I get that. Thanks again for helpin’ us, although it sounds like you’re doin’ it for yourself now, too.”
Hannah nodded as she stepped out of the oversized freight elevator, ignoring the pinch of emotion in her eyes as the doors closed behind her.
“Go get your boys, Hannah.”
“Oh, Hawk’s not my—” She turned to see her reflection staring back at her in the steel doors. Even though it’d been on the tip of her tongue to deny Hawk was heranything, the hope in her eyes said differently.
She tried to hide her smile as she faced the stairwell landing and took a big, steadying breath before opening the rooftop door.
It took her a second to find them since the helicopter was the eye-catching feature on the spacious roof. She was about to call Tommy’s name, but when she finally found them, the scene gripped her heart so tightly it stole her breath away. She froze, afraid she’d somehow interrupt them even though she was so far away.
Hawk sat on his haunches, his large body at eye level with Tommy’s much smaller one, and Hawk’s hands on Tommy’s shoulders.
The tender moment brought tears to her eyes and a flood of emotion warmed her veins. She fidgeted over the outline of her necklace, still underneath the cotton of her shirt, as her mind wandered to that place where what-ifs were abundant but answers were few.
Would this have been what Tommy had experienced if his dad were alive right now?
What if Tommy had been Hawk’s instead?
Would Hawk have stayed?
It’d been selfish of her to beg him to stay. Her father had loathed her relationship with Hawk, and he’d made no bones about doing his best to destroy Hawk if he ever got court martialed. She wouldn’t have wanted that for him, but if Hawk had known about a child, would that have been enough to have him at least keep in touch? Or would that have made him stay farther away since he’d been afraid for her safety?
She shook her head and closed the door softly behind her before leaning against it. There was no use dwelling on the past. What had happened, happened, and she wouldn’t trade Tommy for anything. If Hawk never forgave her for sleeping with his best friend, well, she wouldn’t blame him. But she’d also never apologize for her son, and although she hurt Hawk by turning to his friend, she got the best little boy in the world for it. How could she allow herself to feel shame for something when she was so grateful for the blessing she got out of it?
She watched as Hawk hugged Tommy. Her son clung to him like a lifeline. Hannah blinked rapidly in a sorry attempt to make the tears threatening to spill over disappear. She strained her ears to hear, but like the game of catch they'd just bonded over, the breeze caught their words and pitched them into the wind, leaving the moment just for them. When Tommy let go, Hawk said something else, making the boy smile before they went back to throwing the ball.
Her rowdy child suddenly ran to the other end of the warehouse, past the helicopter and near the edge. She stepped away from the wall to stop him, but Hawk called out nervously before the mischievous boy got too close. Then Tommy stretched back and rocketed the ball as high and far as he could.
She was so mesmerized, watching it fly through the air, that all she could do was squeak her protest when the large man in front of her collided with her to catch it.
His strong arm enveloped her, tugging her in as he caught her too, ensuring she didn’t fall as he propped her against the wall.
“Hey there, dove.” His charcoal eyes burned down at her as his handsome smile glittered in the sun.
“Hi.” Her heart leapt in her throat and she swallowed, unable to keep from returning his grin.
They breathed in tandem, her chest pressing against his. Little droplets of sweat prickled on his forehead and his scent wafted toward her in the breeze. Pine, morning dew, and leather, like an early spring baseball game.
Like the last opening day she ever attended.
That final thought made her chest clench in the spot right underneath her necklace, but instead of pushing him away, all she wanted to do was pull him closer, to cling to the past they could’ve had and the dreams she’d wished for them. To fall into his heated gaze and pretend like the years away had never happened.
He licked his lips, and his eyes flicked to hers. She leaned up on her tiptoes to reach him, wanting to know if he still tasted the same way—
“Mom?” Tommy’s voice worked between them, shaking her from their shared reverie. Hawk straightened, pushing away from the wall and releasing her waist, leaving her bereft of his touch.
